DWI - LOUISIANA STYLE
Only a person in Louisiana could think of this.
From the parish where drunk driving is considered a
sport, comes this
true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked
outside a bar in
Houma, Louisiana.
After last call the officer noticed a man leaving
the bar so
intoxicated that he could barely walk The man
stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes,
with the officer quietly observing. After what
seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on
five different vehicles, the man managed to find his
car and fall in to it. He sat there for a few
minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar
and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched
the wipers on and
off--it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the
blinkers on and
off a couple of times, honked the horn and then
switched on the lights. He
moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a
little and then
remained still for a few more minutes as some more
of the other patrons\' vehicles left.
At last, when his was the only car left in the
parking lot, he pulled
out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this
time, now
started up his patrol car, put on the flashing
lights, promptly pulled the man over and
administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement,
the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man
had consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, \"I\'ll have to ask you
to accompany me to
the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must
be broken.\"
\"I doubt it,\" said the truly proud Coonass. \"Tonight
I\'m the designated
decoy.\"
*Boudreaux, the smoothest-talking Cajun in the Louisiana National Guard got called up to active duty one day. Boudreaux\'s first assignment was to a military induction center, and because he was a good talker they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled.
Before long, the Captain in charge of the induction center began noticing that Boudreaux was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance.
This was odd, because it would cost these low-income recruits $30.00 per month more for the higher coverage, compared to what the government was already providing at no charge. The Captain decided that he would not ask Boudreaux directly about his selling techniques, but instead he would sit in the back of th! e room at the next briefing and observe Boudreaux\'s sales pitch.
Boudreaux stood up before the latest group of inductees and said,
\"If you got da normal GI insurans an\' you go to Iraq an\' get youself killed, da governmen\' gonna pay you beneficiary $20,000.
If you take out da supplemental insurans, which cost you only t\'irty dollar a mont, den da governmen\' gotta pay you beneficiary $200,000!\"
\"NOW,\" Boudreaux concluded, \"which bunch you tink dey gonna send ta Iraq furst? *
Only a person in Louisiana could think of this.
From the parish where drunk driving is considered a
sport, comes this
true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked
outside a bar in
Houma, Louisiana.
After last call the officer noticed a man leaving
the bar so
intoxicated that he could barely walk The man
stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes,
with the officer quietly observing. After what
seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on
five different vehicles, the man managed to find his
car and fall in to it. He sat there for a few
minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar
and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched
the wipers on and
off--it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the
blinkers on and
off a couple of times, honked the horn and then
switched on the lights. He
moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a
little and then
remained still for a few more minutes as some more
of the other patrons\' vehicles left.
At last, when his was the only car left in the
parking lot, he pulled
out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this
time, now
started up his patrol car, put on the flashing
lights, promptly pulled the man over and
administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement,
the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man
had consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, \"I\'ll have to ask you
to accompany me to
the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must
be broken.\"
\"I doubt it,\" said the truly proud Coonass. \"Tonight
I\'m the designated
decoy.\"
*Boudreaux, the smoothest-talking Cajun in the Louisiana National Guard got called up to active duty one day. Boudreaux\'s first assignment was to a military induction center, and because he was a good talker they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled.
Before long, the Captain in charge of the induction center began noticing that Boudreaux was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance.
This was odd, because it would cost these low-income recruits $30.00 per month more for the higher coverage, compared to what the government was already providing at no charge. The Captain decided that he would not ask Boudreaux directly about his selling techniques, but instead he would sit in the back of th! e room at the next briefing and observe Boudreaux\'s sales pitch.
Boudreaux stood up before the latest group of inductees and said,
\"If you got da normal GI insurans an\' you go to Iraq an\' get youself killed, da governmen\' gonna pay you beneficiary $20,000.
If you take out da supplemental insurans, which cost you only t\'irty dollar a mont, den da governmen\' gotta pay you beneficiary $200,000!\"
\"NOW,\" Boudreaux concluded, \"which bunch you tink dey gonna send ta Iraq furst? *