Mine was.. "I am going to come out there and fix it, but first I am going home to get my gun and shoot your stupid ass." This after he called to say they had tried to make an overhead by using a page protector from a notebook. I was already having a bad day.
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The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking -
Re: What is the most outrageous thing you have ever said to a customer and kept your
I was with another tech when he told a customer:
You know this will get fixed much faster with you in the other room.
We did not see the guy for the rest of the call.
Rob S -
Re: What is the most outrageous thing you have ever said to a customer and kept your
Did this other tech have any relatives down here in the South ?
Back in the late 70's we had a tech that while on-site , just getting ready to take the side panels off on old Toshiba ( analog , liquid ) when some guy in the office looked at him, smiled , and said " Do ya know what your doin' ? "
Good old Sam replied : " Nope ! They just told me to come here and take out my tools, and some smart-ass who know more than me will come by to fix this copier " . The guy left : Sam fixed the copier: when he got back to the shop the boss asked him if that is what he said , he replied " dam strait " : boss said " well , OK then " . Nothing more was said , that customer never bothered any of us techs again while we were on site
AH THE GOOD OLD DAYS : Today you would probably get fired, fined , given community service time , and have to go to an ' anger management seminar ' ."The Serenity Prayer" . . .
God grant me the serenity to accept stupid people , the courage to not waste my time and energy on them , and the wisdom to know that I cannot fix STUPID .Comment
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Re: What is the most outrageous thing you have ever said to a customer and kept your
It's kinda weird that you never hear about customers getting into trouble over the rude and insulting things they say to the copier guy...But I'm trying, Ringo. I'm trying real hard... to be the Shepherd.
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Re: What is the most outrageous thing you have ever said to a customer and kept your
During this same time frame ( mid to late 70's ) we had a few techs who were quick witted and with quick comebacks ;
One day while working on a copier , a secretary called to us and asked if we would look at her typewriter before we left.
We went to her desk, asked what was wrong. She replied that she had a loose key ; he ( name being withheld to protect the innocent ) . then asked which key, she said ' the L key ' . He jumped back and said in a loud voice " THE L YOU SAY ! ". YEP , she turned red then laughed and said " take it and fix it " .
Same tech , different office ; secretary said , as she was typing , " my typewriter is giving me fits : I'm having problems with my period " YEP his reply " Ma'am I can't do anything about that , but what sort of a problem are you having with the typewriter ?" She got up , left the room laughing so hard she was crying " . We took her typewriter back with us ."The Serenity Prayer" . . .
God grant me the serenity to accept stupid people , the courage to not waste my time and energy on them , and the wisdom to know that I cannot fix STUPID .Comment
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Re: What is the most outrageous thing you have ever said to a customer and kept your
I once told a complete idiot of an office manager to f#@k himself after he started swearing at me when I tried to expalin to him the dangers of the cobbled up mess of extension cords with broken off grounds that he was trying to run a few copiers on. Next day there was a call there on the CLC 900 my boss said I didnt have to go if I didnt want to but I did go and when I walked in all the girls in the office clapped and cheered and one of them came up to me and said they had all wanted to say that to him for ages lol. About 6 months later the place caught fire !Comment
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Re: What is the most outrageous thing you have ever said to a customer and kept your
"Do you think, you are the only one with a Copier living on this Planet? STFU and wait until I'll arrive or I'll put you back at the end of the waiting Queue"
Rant from me after the 5th call within 30 minutes.
All: make a note to yourselves to never ever give your cell number to customers
If sometimes you feel a little useless, offended and depressed always remember that you were once the fastest and most victorious sperm of hundreds of millions!Comment
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Re: What is the most outrageous thing you have ever said to a customer and kept your
Cell Phone? What's that??
I had a customer who would ask me what the solution was to the problem about 2 minutes after i set down the tool bag. Finally, i asked him, "what were you dong before i arrived" he replied that he was working in his office, to which I replied, "Why don't you go back there and i"ll come see you when i have a chance to properly diagnose this machine.
after that, he would just say hello. he was a good customer.Comment
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Re: What is the most outrageous thing you have ever said to a customer and kept your
Customer: This machine is always breaking.
Me: So quit breaking it.
Customer: The color quality on this machine Sucks.
Me: So does the quality of your paper. You have the Porche of copiers and you are filling it with regular Gas.
Customer: Do you get MLK day off?
Me: No, I'm not black. I am a veteran and I don't get veteran"s day off. (Got called on the carpet for this one.)Why do they call it common sense?
If it were common, wouldn't everyone have it?Comment
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Re: What is the most outrageous thing you have ever said to a customer and kept your
I've let a few expletives off at customers, Mostly under my breath, usually sends them scurrying away. I've been doing this long enough now to fight sarcasm with sarcasm and I find some customers give you respect after that, others just leave you alone.
I almost planted a customer oneday, he was a rather unpleasant nobody working in a printroom at a school. He would shout and scream at us from the time we arrived, the oneday he was standing so close to me screaming his head off that his gob was landing on my face. I put my tool case down and had the full intention of coming back up with an uppercut, but thankfully common sense took over. I picked up my tool bag spun around and headed out the door. Got on the phone to my manager and explained the situation and that I was seconds away from laying him out. The manager told me to chill for a few mintues, go back in ignore him do my job and if he continued I should leave.
I went back in, told him I was going to look at the machine and would be better if he left me alone.
This was over 15 years ago. I think I went to the main office after that and complained about the way he had been carrying on with me and that I was not perpared to deal with him if it continued. I seem to remember he calmed down after thatComment
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Re: What is the most outrageous thing you have ever said to a customer and kept your
Went to a school and ofcourse the teachers there had broken it....again. Spoke to an IT guy at the school as he wanted to give me a hard time about how piss poor the machine was. I explained to him most calls are due to damage. The others are services and other problems. He then continued to tell me how no matter how many times he had turned the machine on and off after not finding the jam that the ES453 (Toshiba) instead of showing the error code E030 it started to come up F105 (or some F10 code). After the lecture he gave me I went to fix the machine. The hard drive was broke due to the amount of times he had flicked the switch on and off. I put the exit sensor back in postion and replaced the hard drive as the smart guy had broken it.
I asked him to come and test the machine and when he went over he went red and started shouting at me in the staff room infront of everyone pretty much. I had replaced the hard drive, lost all the department codes and meter readings. When he paused to breathe after about 5 minutes into his rant I was starting to loose my cool. Through gritted teeth I asked him why do you replace hard drives on computers for (with him being an IT guy). He looked around the staff room and told me when idiots turn off the computers and dont shut them down, it damages the hard drives. I asked him what he had done to the machine before I arrived and with a smug smile he said I turned it on and off to try and get the error code off.
I then told him all these machines have hard driives including this one to which he replied 'I know this I have read the manual'.
I then went on to say 'So when he turned it on and off what did he do to the hard drive'.
He looked at me and I looked back (romantic right). Then I just went 'Idiot'.
He stormed out and I got a coffee and biscuits from the teachers. A rare moment of satisfaction in this job.It didn't say that I couldn't do it in the manual.Comment
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Re: What is the most outrageous thing you have ever said to a customer and kept your
I remember telling this group of women in the office where I was working on their copier,
that the copy quality issues they were having was due to the Butt Cheek smear marks on the glass.
At first they were like "Who would have done that?" then they whispered and giggled a little, until
I suggested a Line Up to match up the marks..They were cracking up.... Another time a girl made a
copy of her Breasts and it jammed in the fuser. I was the lucky one to remove it, I was sure to ask everyone
there who's it was.Comment
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