Joke of the Day

[izzynut]

Re: Joke of the Day

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[tsbservice]

Re: Joke of the Day

Understanding Engineers 1


Two engineering students were riding bicycles across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get the great bike?"


The second engineer replied, " I was walking yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."


The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."


Understanding Engineers 2


To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.


To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


Understanding Engineers 3


A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.


The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We've been waiting for fifteen minutes!"


The doctor chimed in, "I don't think I've ever seen such inept golf!"


The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"


The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!"


The group fell silent for a moment.


The priest said, "That's so sad. I'll say a special prayer for them tonight."


The doctor said, "Good idea. I'll contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if here's anything she can do for them."


The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers 4


What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?


Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.


Understanding Engineers 5


The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"


The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"


The graduate with a Commerce degree asks, "How much will it cost?"


The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?


Understanding Engineers 6


Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it isn't sufficiently complex yet.


Understanding Engineers 7


An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."


He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.


The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."


The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.


The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want."


Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.


Finally, the frog asked, "What's the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"


The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog - now that's cool."


And Finally

Number 6: that's why I'm copier engineer

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[izzynut]

Re: Joke of the Day

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[izzynut]

Re: Joke of the Day

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[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

I am fairly certain this is when the argument started.

[izzynut]

Re: Joke of the Day

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[tsbservice]

Re: Joke of the Day

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

---

.

[tsbservice]

Re: Joke of the Day

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.

[tsbservice]

Re: Joke of the Day

A: When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn't rush to my feet. Why is this?

B: It's because your feet aren't empty.

[tsbservice]

Re: Joke of the Day

Man said to God --- Why did you make women so beautiful?
God said to man --- So that you will love them.
Man said to God --- But why did you make them so dumb?
God said to man --- So that they will love you.

[tsbservice]

Re: Joke of the Day

A very drunk man comes out of the bar and sees another very drunk man.
He looks up in the sky and says, "Is that the sun or the moon?"
The other drunk man answers, "I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself."

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day