Joke of the Day

[izzynut]

Re: Joke of the Day

A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings.
"Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied
The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money."
The little boy's eyes get wide, and he says, "Is that true Mom?"
His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers "Yes."
After a few minutes the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?"
She said, "Most of them become taxi drivers."

[izzynut]

Re: Joke of the Day

An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning. She did this religiously and lived to the ripe old age of 103. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40-foot HOLE where the crematorium used to be.

[izzynut]

Re: Joke of the Day

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[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[J_Arnold]

Re: Joke of the Day

I just put 20 bucks of gas in my tank. I went from lower case e to upper case E.

[izzynut]

Re: Joke of the Day

The madam opened the brothel door in Butte and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late fifties.
May I help you sir?" she asked.

The man replied, "I want to see Valerie."

"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else", said the madam.

He replied, "No, I must see Valerie."

Just then, a gorgeous Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive. "There are no discounts. The price is still $5,000." Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row". Where are you from?"

The man replied, "Great Falls."

"Really," she said. "I have family in Great Falls."

"I know." the man said. "Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance."

The moral of this story is that three things in life are certain:
1 Death

2. Taxes; and

3. Being screwed by a lawyer.

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[izzynut]

Re: Joke of the Day

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[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[izzynut]

Re: Joke of the Day

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[izzynut]

Re: Joke of the Day

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[slimslob]

[izzynut]

Re: Joke of the Day

As we get older we think differently, don't we? This letter was sent to the principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly.

An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind ...especially if you are familiar with the elderly and their ways! Forward to anyone you know who might need a lift today.

Dear Lincoln Elementary,

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior Citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Springer Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.

My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears.

Her distress over the broken radio touched me and I knew this was God's way of answering my prayers. She asked me if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my ass.

Thank you for that opportunity.

Sincerely,
Agnes

[izzynut]

Re: Joke of the Day

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