Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a Priest and asks for his opinion on this question.
He queries the Minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath!
The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"
The Rabbi softly speaks, "If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it."Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Retiree Mental Fitness Evaluation
This test is to ascertain your mental state now. If you get one right you are doing ok, if you get none right you better go for counseling.(I'll meet you there.)
There are 4 test questions. Don't miss one.
Giraffe Test
1.How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.
The correct answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
Elephant Test
2.How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator? Wrong Answer.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
Lion King Test
3.The Lion King is hosting an Animal Conference. All the animals attend ... except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer:The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.
Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
Crocodile Test
4.There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer:You jump into the river and swim across. Haven't you been lis-ten-ng?
All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Conference. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the Retirees they tested
got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson
Consulting says this conclusively proves the theory that most Retirees do not have the
brains of a four-year-oldComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
1) When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.
(2) When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life.
(3) In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
(4) When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.
(5) When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
(6) When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.
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Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
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