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Re: Joke of the Day
Those Were the Days!
A while back, when I was considerably younger, I picked up a date at her parents' home.
I'd scraped together some money to take her to a fancy restaurant.
She ordered the most expensive items on the menu.
Shrimp cocktail, Lobster, Champagne, Dessert.
I asked her, "Does your mother feed you like that when you eat at home?"
"No," she replied, "but my mother's not expecting a blow job tonight."
I said "More Pie?"Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
I'm sending this to those who are more intelligent than average because only you will be able to understand these big words:
1. ARBITRAITOR - - A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.*
2. BERNADETTE - - The act of torching a mortgage.*
3. BURGLARIZE - - What a crook sees through.*
4. AVOIDABLE - - What a bullfighter tries to do.*
5. COUNTERFEITER - - Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.*
6. LEFT BANK - - What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.*
7. HEROES - - What a man in a boat does.*
8. PARASITES - - What you see from the Eiffel Tower.*
9. PARADOX - - Two physicians.*
10. PHARMACIST - - A helper on a farm.*
11. RELIEF - - What trees do in the spring.*
12. RUBBERNECK - - What you do to relax your wife.*
13. SELFISH - - What the owner of a seafood store does.*
14. SUDAFED - - Brought litigation against a government official.*
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Re: Joke of the Day
5 Undeniable Facts of Life!
1. A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it.
2. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.
3. Having a cold drink on a hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks is priceless.
4. Breaking News: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband.
5. Arguing over a girl's bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Coors and Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
I haven't verified these on "Snopes," but they sound about right!!
THE 3 ANSWERS YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR (again not verified)
1. Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under'.
2. Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
3. Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING? A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch.
BONUS QUESTION & ANSWER.
Q: What is a man's Ultimate embarrassment?
A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.
Nominated as the world's best short joke:
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
"Mom", he asked, "Are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
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