Joke of the Day

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • izzynut
    Gov.

    5,000+ Posts
    • Aug 2013
    • 5347

    #9091
    Re: Joke of the Day

    800785F3-120B-43CF-B263-6223DA7737AB.jpg

    Comment

    • izzynut
      Gov.

      5,000+ Posts
      • Aug 2013
      • 5347

      #9092
      Re: Joke of the Day

      E4DA4C12-7241-4F45-AF68-40EB6BFB2079.jpg

      Comment

      • izzynut
        Gov.

        5,000+ Posts
        • Aug 2013
        • 5347

        #9093
        Re: Joke of the Day
        A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control pills.

        "Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are birth control pills?"
        "Yes, they help me sleep at night."
        "Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these that could possibly help you sleep!"
        She reached out and patted the young doctor's knee and said, "Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16-year-old Granddaughter drinks. And believe me it definitely helps me sleep at night."
        You gotta love Grandmas!



        Comment

        • izzynut
          Gov.

          5,000+ Posts
          • Aug 2013
          • 5347

          #9094
          Re: Joke of the Day
          Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student was hard put to think of seven advantages He wrote:
          1) It is perfect formula for the child.
          2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
          3) It is always the right temperature.
          4) It is inexpensive.
          5) It bonds the child to mother and vice versa.
          6) It is always available as needed
          And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test he wrote:
          7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.
          He got an A+.


          Comment

          • izzynut
            Gov.

            5,000+ Posts
            • Aug 2013
            • 5347

            #9095
            Re: Joke of the Day
            A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit . It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings.
            "Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"
            "They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied
            The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money."
            The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom?"
            His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers "Yes."
            After a few minutes the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?"
            She said, "Most of them become taxi drivers."


            Comment

            • izzynut
              Gov.

              5,000+ Posts
              • Aug 2013
              • 5347

              #9096
              Re: Joke of the Day
              An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning. She did this religiously and lived to the ripe old age of 103. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot HOLE where the crematorium used to be.


              Comment

              • izzynut
                Gov.

                5,000+ Posts
                • Aug 2013
                • 5347

                #9097
                Re: Joke of the Day

                4E932951-5CED-4EF5-BA4C-19DD78BB7A2A.jpg

                Comment

                • izzynut
                  Gov.

                  5,000+ Posts
                  • Aug 2013
                  • 5347

                  #9098
                  Re: Joke of the Day

                  398C82BA-32F1-405C-BBDB-978A38A1EB1E.jpg

                  Comment

                  • izzynut
                    Gov.

                    5,000+ Posts
                    • Aug 2013
                    • 5347

                    #9099
                    Re: Joke of the Day

                    Capture9.JPG

                    Comment

                    • slimslob
                      Retired

                      Site Contributor
                      25,000+ Posts
                      • May 2013
                      • 36883

                      #9100
                      Re: Joke of the Day






                      Comment

                      • slimslob
                        Retired

                        Site Contributor
                        25,000+ Posts
                        • May 2013
                        • 36883

                        #9101
                        Re: Joke of the Day

                        Comment

                        • izzynut
                          Gov.

                          5,000+ Posts
                          • Aug 2013
                          • 5347

                          #9102
                          Re: Joke of the Day

                          Capture10.JPG

                          Comment

                          • izzynut
                            Gov.

                            5,000+ Posts
                            • Aug 2013
                            • 5347

                            #9103
                            Re: Joke of the Day

                            Capture11.JPG

                            Comment

                            • izzynut
                              Gov.

                              5,000+ Posts
                              • Aug 2013
                              • 5347

                              #9104
                              Re: Joke of the Day

                              Capture13.JPG

                              Comment

                              • izzynut
                                Gov.

                                5,000+ Posts
                                • Aug 2013
                                • 5347

                                #9105
                                Re: Joke of the Day

                                Capture20.JPG

                                Comment

                                Working...