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Re: Joke of the Day
A Farmer in Love:
A guy walks into the bedroom carrying a sheep in his arms and says,
"Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."
The wife, laying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says,
"If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a cow."
The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous
Bitch, you'd realize I was talking to the sheep."Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooperComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Understanding Engineers 1
Two engineering students were riding bicycles across a university campus when one said,
"Where did you get the great bike?"
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers 2
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers 3
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We've been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't think I've ever seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!"
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I'll say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'll contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers 4
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers 5
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with a Commerce degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers 6
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it isn't sufficiently complex yet.
And Finally
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top.
A lady surveyor walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Steve, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took pliers from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground.
Then she took a tape measure from her purse, took a measurement, announced, "21' 6", and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and have been elected to congress.
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Re: Joke of the Day
that proves me just... maybe being not freak
"Understanding Engineers 6
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it isn't sufficiently complex yet."
Now many (well most of) techs here believe in first part of that sentence while me being all in to the second one 😂A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.Comment
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