So you have decided to get into the exciting world of copy repair. Scientist, Musicians, Movie Stars, yes you will get to work on copiers they have walked past or leaned on. Before jumping into the life of little fame and no fortune, you may want to fill out this little survey.
1. Age, The older the better. Younger men still have hopes and dreams and these things can get in the way of your copy repair career.
2. Sex, It doesn't matter. As a matter of fact every shop need a female as an example of how to keep notes and be organized.
3. Race, Really doesn't matter. Stupid people come in all races and they need techs to save them.
4. Marriage status, People on their second or third marriage are preferred as they have already had their dreams crushed.
5. Children, nobody really cares.
6. Pets, lots if possible, after a day of people, they will be welcome.
SKILLS
Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10
Mcguyver skills, 1 being "needs help making a paper airplane" and 10 being "can make a working fuser roller out of a paper towel tube"
People Skills, 1 being "annoy people so much they complain when you deliver toner" and 10 being "Customers like me so much they sometimes follow me home and help with the yard work"
Diplomatic Skills, 1 being "Gets in argument with customer over paper weights" and 10 being "Can talk customer into buying new machine rather than have you put new rollers in the one they bought last year"
Mechanical Skills 1 being "can't believe your new screwdriver didn't come with instructions" and 10 being "Modifies new copier, sends leftover parts and marked up drawings to factory and they sent thank you letter back"
ESP skills, 1 being "clueless, think my wife wants to play catch when she throws things at me" and 10 being "Show up at call ready to fix what was called in, and the 3 other things that were not mentioned"
Being prepared, 1 being "a different size phillips head screw ruins your day" and 10 being " you show up with blank stock and a tap and die set, prepared to make your own screws"
Bullshit skills, 1 being " keep telling customers you have no idea what is wrong with the machine" and 10 being "You show up unprepared to fix copier and convince the customer that they have called the work order in too soon, and also "these are not the droids you are looking for"
Neat and Tidy, 1 being "People look at you when you enter a room and ask if you have been mugged" and 10 being "People look at you when you enter a room and tell you this is not the model agency"
Fashion Sense, 1 being " people laugh and point, ask if you are color blind and did you dress yourself" and 10 being "you color coordinate your clothes to match the copier you are going to service"
Breath, 1 being "You open your mouth to speak and people check the bottom of their shoes" and 10 being "your breath is so sweet, you have to shoo bees away when you talk"
Hair, If you have some, it should be kept on your head. Once you start loosing the hair on your head, it is not acceptable to make up for it by letting it grow out of your ears and nose.
Psychical condition, 1 being "you get so tired walking to the bathroom, you have to sit down to pee" and 10 being "willing to carry machine down stairs and outside so you don't get toner on the carpet"
Ambition, 1 being "This is good enough" and 10 being "I will run this company one day" [ a low score on this one is a plus ]
Upkeep of car, 1 being "that knocking sound means I need oil' and 10 being "mechanics come out and shake your hand when you get routine service"
Navigation skills, 1 being "gets lost in a parking garage" and 10 being "can find your copier in a large building by sniffing out the smell of ozone"
Detective Skills, 1 being " is surprised at the end of every Scooby Doo Mystery" and 10 being " can put together an air tight case to show how the staple got in the machine and came in contact with the drum and trace the staple back to the culprit who dropped it"
Overall intellect, you must be smarter than the people using the equipment. This is not hard at all.
Drug and Alcohol abuse, Pick one or the other, it is not good to mix.
If you are still reading this, you may have what it takes. So welcome to a career where you can be paid as much or more than farm workers in third world countries, Beautiful women will call you to ask "when are you going to get here, I have something to do tonight", Powerful men will refer to you as "that asshole who parked in my spot", Small children will no longer run and hide, but will instead point and laugh, So just remember, The customer is never right, and never ever taunt the older techs, they may snap at any moment.
1. Age, The older the better. Younger men still have hopes and dreams and these things can get in the way of your copy repair career.
2. Sex, It doesn't matter. As a matter of fact every shop need a female as an example of how to keep notes and be organized.
3. Race, Really doesn't matter. Stupid people come in all races and they need techs to save them.
4. Marriage status, People on their second or third marriage are preferred as they have already had their dreams crushed.
5. Children, nobody really cares.
6. Pets, lots if possible, after a day of people, they will be welcome.
SKILLS
Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10
Mcguyver skills, 1 being "needs help making a paper airplane" and 10 being "can make a working fuser roller out of a paper towel tube"
People Skills, 1 being "annoy people so much they complain when you deliver toner" and 10 being "Customers like me so much they sometimes follow me home and help with the yard work"
Diplomatic Skills, 1 being "Gets in argument with customer over paper weights" and 10 being "Can talk customer into buying new machine rather than have you put new rollers in the one they bought last year"
Mechanical Skills 1 being "can't believe your new screwdriver didn't come with instructions" and 10 being "Modifies new copier, sends leftover parts and marked up drawings to factory and they sent thank you letter back"
ESP skills, 1 being "clueless, think my wife wants to play catch when she throws things at me" and 10 being "Show up at call ready to fix what was called in, and the 3 other things that were not mentioned"
Being prepared, 1 being "a different size phillips head screw ruins your day" and 10 being " you show up with blank stock and a tap and die set, prepared to make your own screws"
Bullshit skills, 1 being " keep telling customers you have no idea what is wrong with the machine" and 10 being "You show up unprepared to fix copier and convince the customer that they have called the work order in too soon, and also "these are not the droids you are looking for"
Neat and Tidy, 1 being "People look at you when you enter a room and ask if you have been mugged" and 10 being "People look at you when you enter a room and tell you this is not the model agency"
Fashion Sense, 1 being " people laugh and point, ask if you are color blind and did you dress yourself" and 10 being "you color coordinate your clothes to match the copier you are going to service"
Breath, 1 being "You open your mouth to speak and people check the bottom of their shoes" and 10 being "your breath is so sweet, you have to shoo bees away when you talk"
Hair, If you have some, it should be kept on your head. Once you start loosing the hair on your head, it is not acceptable to make up for it by letting it grow out of your ears and nose.
Psychical condition, 1 being "you get so tired walking to the bathroom, you have to sit down to pee" and 10 being "willing to carry machine down stairs and outside so you don't get toner on the carpet"
Ambition, 1 being "This is good enough" and 10 being "I will run this company one day" [ a low score on this one is a plus ]
Upkeep of car, 1 being "that knocking sound means I need oil' and 10 being "mechanics come out and shake your hand when you get routine service"
Navigation skills, 1 being "gets lost in a parking garage" and 10 being "can find your copier in a large building by sniffing out the smell of ozone"
Detective Skills, 1 being " is surprised at the end of every Scooby Doo Mystery" and 10 being " can put together an air tight case to show how the staple got in the machine and came in contact with the drum and trace the staple back to the culprit who dropped it"
Overall intellect, you must be smarter than the people using the equipment. This is not hard at all.
Drug and Alcohol abuse, Pick one or the other, it is not good to mix.
If you are still reading this, you may have what it takes. So welcome to a career where you can be paid as much or more than farm workers in third world countries, Beautiful women will call you to ask "when are you going to get here, I have something to do tonight", Powerful men will refer to you as "that asshole who parked in my spot", Small children will no longer run and hide, but will instead point and laugh, So just remember, The customer is never right, and never ever taunt the older techs, they may snap at any moment.
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