Marital Status

[DAG COPIERS & COMPUTERS]

Re: Marital Status

I have been married for 33 years to same woman. School sweethearts. We have had our ups and downs and it is a loving Saviour that has kept us together. We read the Bible every morning and pray and forgive each other for wrongs. (and I always spray Lysol after I'm done in the bathroom.) God has a way of putting in sweetness where there is bitterness. My advice? See if it is reconcilable and work hard toward that ends. It takes a little time to turn the Titanic around. Give it time. Get some counseling from a Godly Pastor of a church you trust. I recommend Independent Baptists. If not, do not get bitter. Move on and get busy being a good dad to those wonderful kids. Best wishes and prayers to you and family.

Dear Shadow1, I am really saddened to hear that news. I believe both of you are very mature enough and really know what you are doing; Having thought over it through and through; the repercussion of your actions especially on the children are long lasting. Marriage is a divine institution, based on trust, mutual respect and above all tolerance of one another. I am no marriage counselor, but I feel for you as a christian brother. Did both of you try to give it a second, third, fourth and even a fifth chance?. What is so hard that cannot be forgiven? probably adultery only. As Christians we believe that 'What God has joined together, no man can put asunder'. It is okay to separate for a while as a step towards 'Recovery' of the marriage, it has some healing effect; but total divorce should only be on grounds of adultery. I agree with my brother Jude that you should seek the counsel of a pastor and marriage counselor. The Baptist pastor, Dr. Charles Stanley,[www.InTouch. org]...I enjoy his programs aired here every Sunday on our local TV station could be of great help to you both!
It is really a hard moment for you and the Children, my prayers are all for you that God should see you through this trial moment. These daughters of eve are not easy at all! Be courageous, everything happens for a purpose, the good of which may not be so obvious to you at the moment; but in the end it will manifest itself. Keep your hopes high.

[Jude]

Re: Marital Status

Man, I think you've nailed it!! Gotta go shopping!

http://www.ignitermedia.com/products/886-the-don-t-song

[emujo]

Re: Marital Status

My only piece of advice would be..Unless you are 110% certain this divorce will go through, do not accept financial help from your side of the family or your friends...if you get back together these people that helped you will forever be "on your side" and she will always remember them. You can get new friends, but deep down she will hate those those that sided with you and you can't just forget about mom, dad, siblings etc..Emujo

[Debs1964]

Re: Marital Status

Fight it. Women can be stupid bitches. But you already know that.

Excuse me, we're not all like that, I refused to take advantage, with my first divorce I had to be quite forceful with my solicitor that I didn't want anything more than was fair.
I am a firm believer that things always happen for a reason, it's not always obvious at the time, but you'll find that your life will turn out happier in the end (take this from someone whose marital status has changed from married to separated, then divorced, a total of 3 times).
You've had some good advice about not bad mouthing your ex in front of the children, and I know how hard that can be, but they will only resent you in the end if you say bad things about their mother.
Good luck, I'm sure things will work out for you. 15 months on from when my third husband walked out on me (Christmas Day 2011), I have never been happier

[mikadonovan]

Re: Marital Status

Excuse me, we're not all like that, I refused to take advantage, with my first divorce I had to be quite forceful with my solicitor that I didn't want anything more than was fair.
I am a firm believer that things always happen for a reason, it's not always obvious at the time, but you'll find that your life will turn out happier in the end (take this from someone whose marital status has changed from married to separated, then divorced, a total of 3 times).
You've had some good advice about not bad mouthing your ex in front of the children, and I know how hard that can be, but they will only resent you in the end if you say bad things about their mother.
Good luck, I'm sure things will work out for you. 15 months on from when my third husband walked out on me (Christmas Day 2011), I have never been happier

I know, Debs. Obviously I was not referring to you, and I bet you know some women that are like that. No personal offense intended. I did consider the possibility of a negative reaction from our female techs a day after I posted that. I'm a typical shortsighted male, I guess I hope you have a great weekend.

[Debs1964]

Re: Marital Status

I know, Debs. Obviously I was not referring to you, and I bet you know some women that are like that. No personal offense intended. I did consider the possibility of a negative reaction from our female techs a day after I posted that. I'm a typical shortsighted male, I guess I hope you have a great weekend.

OK, I'll be honest, for every man out there that is a bast**d (and there are quite a lot of them, believe me LOL), there are probably twice as many money grabbing female b*tches, I hate how they give my sex such a bad name. I am fiercely independent, I don't need a man to support me, I may spend my entire life virtually pennyless, but at least I have pride and dignity. You have a good weekend too

[DAG COPIERS & COMPUTERS]

Re: Marital Status

OK, I'll be honest, for every man out there that is a bast**d (and there are quite a lot of them, believe me LOL), there are probably twice as many money grabbing female b*tches, I hate how they give my sex such a bad name. I am fiercely independent, I don't need a man to support me, I may spend my entire life virtually pennyless, but at least I have pride and dignity. You have a good weekend too

Britain's 'Iron Lady 2'. May Britain's Iron lady 1's soul rest in eternal peace!

[mrwho]

Re: Marital Status

I wish I could find some rich broad to feed me the rest of my life. Even my wife said "If you find one, don't forget to send me and your son money!"

[DAG COPIERS & COMPUTERS]

Re: Marital Status

I wish I could find some rich broad to feed me the rest of my life. Even my wife said "If you find one, don't forget to send me and your son money!"

You can't fail to 'Get Connected' through this forum. Good Luck!

[GhostInTheMachine]

Re: Marital Status

I know I'm coming into this a little late but I haven't been on here in a while. I just wanted to give a little advice from experience.

If your wife really meant it when she said she will (try to) keep you from seeing your kids, you need all the help you can get. It was already brought up about keeping a journal but this can't be emphasized enough. Write down every time you see your kids, or every time you attempt to. Write date and time of every phone call and whether you were allowed to speak to the kids or not. (It's important to actually DO these things, even if you are blocked at every attempt. The court doesn't care if you've seen your kids, only that you've made the attempts.) If she doesn't let you see them at least once a week and talk on the phone at least every couple days, it reflects badly on her.
Keep every threatening email and voicemail. If police are called (hopefully yours is not as bad as mine) write it in the journal and make sure you go to police station later to get a copy of the report. Be prepared (with evidence) to refute all the bad things she will say about you.

There have been several responses about counseling and giving it another shot. I of course agree with that, but any counseling or therapy would be unlikely to have any effect on a woman who would try to keep you from seeing your children. Being angry and bitter is one thing, but using your kids as a weapon is a sign of a sick mind.

And last, but not least, get a good lawyer experienced in dealing with this type of person. You may have to interview several before you find one.

P.S. If this is your wife, you will either be fighting for your parental rights nonstop until the kids are 18, or you will change your name and move to northern Canada. Help! I'm Divorcing a Narcissist | Psychology Today

[n25an]

Re: Marital Status

I wish you well dude... but screw the god crap.... get a good lawyer and a good therapist... of sime kind... could be a good friend... some one with their head's screwed on... becuase you might think you are making decisions in the best interest of the kids but you are not... so it helps to have some one to bounce things off... someone who is a clear thinker who is not directly tied to the situation...

[fixthecopier]

Re: Marital Status

And last, but not least, get a good lawyer experienced in dealing with this type of person. You may have to interview several before you find one.
Help! I'm Divorcing a Narcissist | Psychology Today

Not all lawyers are created equal.

In my case, when I was divorcing my first wife, 15 years ago...

First one that I paid to read the separation agreement, to ensure I didn't get screwed, missed the part that gave me all of the debt to pay off, while she still got half the money from the sale of our home.

The second one, I found out after the fact, had lost his drivers licence, because he drank so much.

The third one wanted $1200 up front as a retainer and $300 per hour.

The fourth one who was a top notch lawyer {shark}, handled the final divorce agreement. When I went back to his office to pick it up, I walked in and noticed it looked a little different, including the girl working the front desk. I told her my name and ask for the attorney. She got this funny look on her face and just pointed to a table against a wall with a newspaper on it. I walked over and looked at the headline. "Local Attorney Guilty of Misuse of Clients Money". Something to do with a few of his rich clients. He lost the right to practice for a year. Upside was he completed my divorce before it happened and didn't charge me, weather by mistake or on purpose.


The only thing I could add, is even her lawyer , who knows the law, will try to bully you with things that he can't get in court. Also, if you live in a rural area or small town, one or more of those lawyers probably fishes with the judge who will hear your case. You want one of those!