Marital Status

[Shadow1]

First piece of news: I'm starting this thread so that my friends on CTN (and enemies) will know if they don't hear from me for a few days it's because my marital status has changed from Married to Separated and soon to be Divorced. I got told she would help me pack one too many times and took her up on it.

Where I'm staying currently has no internet, TV, or even a finished interior. It's like living in the stone age so I won't be on CTN as much as I used to be for a few weeks.

Second is a Prayer Request for those so inclined: I have 2 children (14 and 5) who I miss tremendously already, and who my wife has vowed I'll never be allowed to see again. That won't be allowed to happen, but it's stressful on all of us, and my kids are almost as fed up with her as I am. I have friend with an old beat up trailer in need of repairs and am staying there rent free so long as I do the repairs - it's a great deal for both of us, but it's not fit for the kids at the moment.

Third: Aside from my personal problems, this thread would be a great place for anyone in or been through similar situations to vent, offer support, or advice. CTN Support group for Divorce.

[mrwho]

Re: Marital Status

First piece of news: I'm starting this thread so that my friends on CTN (and enemies) will know if they don't hear from me for a few days it's because my marital status has changed from Married to Separated and soon to be Divorced. I got told she would help me pack one too many times and took her up on it.

Not sure what to say, except to give you my support. You know how I feel about praying in general, so let's just say I sincerely hope everything goes alright with you. If your kids inherited your sense of humour, then they must be a great bunch to be with!

[Gamut]

Re: Marital Status

Best advise I ever got was: "Leave her to bitch to your kids about you, but never you bitch about her" in years to come your kids will see and understand. My kids now grown up live local to me not their Mother..........

[DWise]

Re: Marital Status

Will definitely pray for you guys Shadow1. Sounds like your divorce will be like most others, messy.

[kingarthur]

Re: Marital Status

that's a bummer, been through it, but without the kids...lived in the house together for nearly 2 years, while trying to sell it, as her husband i was expected to pay the bills & mortgage...she demanded all sorts when the house was sold, it was either pay a lawyer to fight it...or give in to her....gave in..decided you can't put a price on freedom & happiness, would rather have nothing, than be with her...still managed to keep the dog..which she seems to think we have joint custody of...

Anyway...hope all turns out for the best, hope you come back stronger...and not as a shadow(1) of your former self....groan...sorry couldn't resist that

[mikadonovan]

Re: Marital Status

my marital status has changed from Married to Separated and soon to be Divorced.

Me, too, since October. (what a friggin birthday present) A little advice. Try to keep busy. It will keep you from constantly stewing about the situation. Now days, I think very little about that part of my past other than my daughter. I've moved on mentally and physically. I dropped about 20 pounds, and I feel excellent. Give it a little time. You will adapt like we all do.. I wish you the best, Dude.

[Shadow]

Re: Marital Status

hold your head high and stand tall in the face of this trying situation.
Your own health is what is most important at this time.
if your soon to be ex has the children, it would be in her best interest to attend to the immediate needs of those kids.
I am sure that there are many of us out there who have been in this same situation.
the main key for you is to be above the name calling and all the other BS that happens during divorce proceedings.

Take the time to look up " Parental Alienation " and read as much as you can.
this will assist you should your ex decide to turn your children against you and your family. ( experience speaking here )
document everything you do from this point forward, keep a journal with dates and times as well as persons that are with you.
you would be surprised what BS an ex can come up with at the drop of a hat.

The best revenge is to Live Well.

[mikadonovan]

Re: Marital Status

I have 2 children (14 and 5) who I miss tremendously already, and who my wife has vowed I'll never be allowed to see again.

Fight it. Women can be stupid bitches. But you already know that.

[HenryT2]

Re: Marital Status

So Sorry to hear about this Shadow1 ...

Been there ; Done that ; got a t-shirt which was promptly taken away by the her attorney and her judge .

The prayers will be with you, and your kids.

In my experience ; I found that at first all the lies told about me were accepted by one and all . Then her TRUE colors started to show, and even now, some of the people I used to know back then ( 20 + years ) still tell me they just can't believe that she could do such a thing. Her mother even took me aside and told me that she did not raise her daughter that way . Do not let all the lies that may possibly be told get you down. Your kids will know they are lies as well ; and they will support you just as you support them .

We look forward to hearing from you in the near future ... HANG IN THERE SHADOW1 !!!!!!!

[Chameleon]

[igi]

Re: Marital Status

hi
sorry to hear,but you must be strong for the kids
and make sure to explain to the kids,that it not their fault what so ever
its very important that the kids understand thath
good luck

[blackcat4866]

Re: Marital Status

It sounds to me like you've had to make some difficult choices. You're moving in the right direction. Keep at it. =^..^=

[Jude]

Re: Marital Status

I have been married for 33 years to same woman. School sweethearts. We have had our ups and downs and it is a loving Saviour that has kept us together. We read the Bible every morning and pray and forgive each other for wrongs. (and I always spray Lysol after I'm done in the bathroom.) God has a way of putting in sweetness where there is bitterness. My advice? See if it is reconcilable and work hard toward that ends. It takes a little time to turn the Titanic around. Give it time. Get some counseling from a Godly Pastor of a church you trust. I recommend Independent Baptists. If not, do not get bitter. Move on and get busy being a good dad to those wonderful kids. Best wishes and prayers to you and family.

[mrwho]

Re: Marital Status

(and I always spray Lysol after I'm done in the bathroom.)

Man, I think you've nailed it!! Gotta go shopping!

[fixthecopier]

Re: Marital Status

Sorry to hear about the pain you are going through. My first wife got bored while I was working 2 jobs and took up a hobby...dating a coworker. She left with my 2 sons. Every decision I made after that, was for what was best for my boys, even the ones that hurt like hell. Make your life about your kids now, and you will not regret it later. Best wishes to you.