What's the most whack customer description???

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  • HP:guy
    Trusted Tech

    250+ Posts
    • Feb 2013
    • 279

    #136
    Re: What's the most whack customer description???

    Originally posted by Koosie
    I hate it when the customer calls : "It's been broken for two weeks!!"

    "When did you place a call to come and fix it?"

    Customer : "I'm calling now!"

    The machine won't fix itself, idiot, you have to call us, otherwise it will stay broken!!

    OR

    "What seems to be the problem sir?"
    "The copier is not working."
    "What seems to be the problem sir?"
    "The paper is not going through"
    "So it's jamming the paper?"
    "No, it will not even make 'n copy at all"
    and on and on and on and on.
    Your not part of the psychic repair network?

    Comment

    • nmfaxman
      Service Manager

      Site Contributor
      1,000+ Posts
      • Feb 2008
      • 1702

      #137
      Re: What's the most whack customer description???

      I am a member of the psychic troubleshooting league.

      2 hours after the machine kicked my ass, it just comes to me.

      I am also a copier talker, like an animal talker. I will stand in from of a running machine and I just know what the problem is.


      Could just be I have been doing this too long and drank too many beers and Jack.
      I won't mention the glaucoma medication.
      Why do they call it common sense?

      If it were common, wouldn't everyone have it?

      Comment

      • fixthecopier
        ALIEN OVERLORD

        2,500+ Posts
        • Apr 2008
        • 4713

        #138
        Re: What's the most whack customer description???

        Originally posted by nmfaxman


        Could just be I have been doing this too long and drank too many beers and Jack.
        I won't mention the glaucoma medication.


        That shit works, I haven't gone blind in 35 years!
        The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

        Comment

        • Iowatech
          Not a service manager

          2,500+ Posts
          • Dec 2009
          • 3930

          #139
          Re: What's the most whack customer description???

          The total copy counter actually makes PM parts wear out!

          Comment

          • wseyller
            Service Manager

            1,000+ Posts
            • Sep 2012
            • 1129

            #140
            Couple months ago I had a Bizhub 223 that had a label come off and wrap around a registration roller. Customer took a box cutter to it to get the label off. As you can guess the registration roller didn't make it.

            Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2

            Comment

            • Keychain
              Technician
              • Mar 2009
              • 14

              #141
              Re: What's the most whack customer description???

              Copies coming out with yellow background.
              Yellow paper in cassette.

              Comment

              • Zackuth
                Trusted Tech

                250+ Posts
                • Aug 2009
                • 448

                #142
                Re: What's the most whack customer description???

                I've had two.

                Customer complaned about color lines on copies. Customer has a black and white desktop. Actual problem was colored lines on the SCANS.

                Customer having problems with faxing, will not fax at all. I start looking at the fax issue and the customer asks if I want to see the problem, then proceeds to SCAN TO EMAIL and cannot connect.

                Really need to have the sales team define exactly what scanning is and does to the customers.
                If at first you don't succeed, redefine success

                Comment

                • kyrenecopy
                  Trusted Tech

                  100+ Posts
                  • Apr 2012
                  • 205

                  #143
                  Re: What's the most whack customer description???

                  Received a call one day from a customer that said that OSHA (occupational safety and health administration) had stopped by their office for an inspection and had cut the plug off the copier. Can you come right away and fix it? So I grab a new power cord off one of our demo machines and head out there. Sure enough the cord is cut off, however, I also notice that 1. the machine has been moved from it's usual location, 2. the plug that has been cut off is missing the ground pin and 3. the prong on the plug that normally faces 90 degrees from the other (20 amp plug) has been twisted straight to fit in a 15 amp plug! The customer had moved the machine and modified the plug to fit in the non grounded 15 amp plug. I refused to fix it until they got an electrician in there to wire the wall plug properly.
                  Testing 1-2-3, testing, testing. Is this thing on?

                  Comment

                  • kyrenecopy
                    Trusted Tech

                    100+ Posts
                    • Apr 2012
                    • 205

                    #144
                    Re: What's the most whack customer description???

                    Originally posted by mascan42
                    "This machine is always broken. We want a new one."
                    *Checks service history*
                    "This is only the second service call you've placed in the past year."
                    "OK. I'll call every week from now on until you replace it."

                    Grrrrrrrrr...
                    Actually had that happen to me once!
                    Testing 1-2-3, testing, testing. Is this thing on?

                    Comment

                    • Iowatech
                      Not a service manager

                      2,500+ Posts
                      • Dec 2009
                      • 3930

                      #145
                      Re: What's the most whack customer description???

                      Hopefully I haven't shared this already, but back in the day when I was a young pup I tried to tell the owner of a business that their machine needed some standard PM parts. They said that the mechanical copy counter was just a timer that caused those parts to fail, and demanded that I disconnect the counter. Rather than do that, I went away.

                      Comment

                      • User Name
                        Awesome Sauce

                        250+ Posts
                        • Nov 2009
                        • 405

                        #146
                        Re: What's the most whack customer description???

                        "The copier ate the labels."

                        Maybe not the "most whack" but I thought it was funny.
                        Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
                        O.o


                        WARNING: My profile page can cause blindness in small children and old copier techs. View at your own risk.

                        Comment

                        • Phrag
                          Trusted Tech

                          250+ Posts
                          • Oct 2012
                          • 417

                          #147
                          Re: What's the most whack customer description???

                          Customer INSISTS that this is definitely a problem with the photocopier, they have had their I.T engineer out and he has told them to get an engineer out to check the copier network card as he thinks it is faulty. Customer INSISTS that this is a hardware problem and they are not to be charged for the callout......blah blah.
                          I'm familiar with that. Are they actually IT guys?

                          I also have this issue with Telecom techs. It's not the line. It's the Copier despite old analogue phones proving dead or terribly noisy, and engaged phone lines.

                          Comment

                          • CompyTech
                            Super Tech

                            500+ Posts
                            • Feb 2011
                            • 706

                            #148
                            Re: What's the most whack customer description???

                            Heard this one yesterday: " Ever since we paid off the machine. It hasn't worked right.."

                            Comment

                            • roho
                              Senior Tech

                              500+ Posts
                              • Mar 2009
                              • 844

                              #149
                              Re: What's the most whack customer description???

                              Originally posted by Shano74
                              Excuse me but can you tell me how long you gona be??

                              the machine is in pieces after they hurt a loud bang...and you just walked in...
                              How long is a piece of string?

                              Comment

                              • Hansoon
                                Field Supervisor

                                Site Contributor
                                2,500+ Posts
                                • Sep 2007
                                • 3381

                                #150
                                Re: What's the most whack customer description???

                                How long is a piece of string?
                                I thought How Long was a Chinese.....?

                                Hans
                                “Sent from my Intel 80286 using MS-DOS 2.0”

                                Comment

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