What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[HenryT2]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

These are not phrases I often hear in the same sentence

Originally Posted by Akitu

common sense... end-user ( EDIT ) or ... SALESPERSON

[Tropix]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

customer ask me how to print white color on transparent paper on xerox dc252 xD

[Akitu]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

... After we pushed a little she let it slip. She said "This couldn't have been anything I did. I only made 1 copy yesterday."

BUSTED! lol New guy gets to keep his job.

Those times you wish it was legal to punch stupid people for being ignorant.

[oldschool]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Liquid toner... now that takes me back. I worked on liquid Savins and Canons. You know how it is when you're just starting out.."Give all the old crappy copier service calls to the new guy" AKA me.

The Canon NP 30,50,60 (I think those are the model numbers) have a rubber nozzle in the back that engaged when the tank was slid in. If I remember correctly, it was used to pump fluid up to the cleaning section. I did a service call in a home office for copy quality. The nozzle was shot. When I pulled the tank out to clean it, the nozzle disintegrated (common problem with those models). I did my PM and I unplugged the copier and told her I'd be back. Those nozzles just happened to be on back order and I expected them in a couple of days. I told her do not use the copier until I replaced the part. I came back a couple of days later to find her carpet soaked with dispersant/toner. The copier was plugged in but powered off. She told my boss that the carpet wasn't like that until I arrived and we owed her a new carpet! After we pushed a little she let it slip. She said "This couldn't have been anything I did. I only made 1 copy yesterday."

BUSTED! lol New guy gets to keep his job.

[Exok]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Back in the day when I serviced Savin liquid toner machines:

Customer, "The machine uses too much toner!"

Me, "How much toner are you using?"

Customer, "We put in 8 bottles of toner just this morning"

I move the machine away from the wall.... eeeewwwwww
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I used to work on Savin Liquid toner V-35 style machines that would get gummed up with dried out toner in the toner tank gears. The gears would stop turning and the drive belt would make a horrible loud noise. The toner mixes with a clear dispersant fluid that we also use to clean the machines. I keep a squeeze bottle filled with the clear dispersant to service the machines. It was common for these tank gears to get stuck with dried toner and just wetting them with dispersant would fix it.

Customer, "Our machine is making a horrible loud noise. I really think it's possessed"

Me, "Possessed you say? I think I can handle that. (take out my dispersant bottle) It's a good thing I remembered to bring my holy water with me. (turns on machine with front door jumped, machine makes loud noise) BEGONE EVIL SPIRIT! (squirts dispersant on the tank gears, noise suddenly stops and machine runs quiet)"

Customer, "HOLY CRAP!!!!!"
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Heard this one from a fellow tech. He goes out to work on a machine with a fax option at a lawyer's office. Lawyer is too cheep to hire an office worker and has his 85 year old mother working in the office. She places a service call saying that the fax machine is not working. He goes out and tests the machine and its working fine. He gets called back 10 minutes later. The lady is very angry. He tests the fax again. Still working. He asks her to show him what is not working with the fax. She places her original in the scanner, dials the number, hits send, original is scanned. She takes the original, holds it up to his face and says, "SEE? ITS STILL HERE!". He was so mad, he went to the lawyer and told him to please not have his mother place service calls without checking the machine himself and explaining to her how a fax machine works.