And one for foday
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Did you know if your left arm got cut off your right arm would be left .Comment
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Here's an idea....just pushing the passengers out through the hatch when they have reached their travel destination....no need for the plane to land on the runway...that just takes time and it takes a toll on the landing gear !!
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Her: At least invite me out to dinner.
Me: I don't go out with married women.
Her: I'm your wife!
Me: I make no exceptions.Comment
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A young fella with his pants hanging half off his arse, no front teeth and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local unemployment office to pick up his benefit money.
He strolled up to the counter and said:
"Hi there, you know what... I really HATE claiming benefits, I'd really much rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system and getting something for nothing."
The social worker behind the counter said:
"Wow, your timing is excellent. We've just received a job opening from a very wealthy elderly man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.
You'll have to drive around in his brand new Mercedes-Benz CL, he'll supply all of your clothes and because of the unsocial hours, meals will be provided free of charge, you'll also be expected to escort his daughter on her overseas holiday trips, but you will also have as part of your job, to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sexual appetite."
The guy, jaw dropping and wide-eyed said:
"You're bull-shittin' me !"
The social worker said:
"Yeah, well . . . You started it . . .“
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Privacy ends where your cat’s curiosity begins.
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Porcupine
It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.
After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.
Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order
to receive the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.
The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.
The moral of the story is:
Just learn to live with the Pricks in your life!
"You can't trust your eyes, if your mind is out of focus" --
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Where are you Izzynut, come back we miss you.Comment
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