What's your most irritating Customer question and how do you want to answer it?

[Vista Tech]

I had a customer who insisted that I wasn't going to leave until I had fixed the copier "even if it took all night". I replied fine, which side of the bed do you prefer to sleep on. She sat down & shut up when her colleagues started to rib her !

HAHAHA Classic! I'm so gonna use that if it ever comes up in the future.

[kingarthur]

I had a customer who insisted that I wasn't going to leave until I had fixed the copier "even if it took all night". I replied fine, which side of the bed do you prefer to sleep on. She sat down & shut up when her colleagues started to rib her !

[Vista Tech]

One of my favorites since we have a few machines at large health insurance companies that run over 50k a month.

Q. Wasn't the machine just down for this same reason last week?

A. (I've actually said this to the IT dept manager) Yes it was, and judging by the staples I just pulled out and the paper clip it was the same idiot who put the shit in the ADF that didn't belong there in the first place. Maybe you should direct them to the little sticker on the top that shows exactly what NOT to put through the ADF. I know it can seem tricky but your organization is a major health insurance company, I'm sure they can read.

[Rob Sandberg]

Q: (well, more of a statement, but irritating nonetheless)
"We ought to get you your own office and a coffee cup with your name on it since you're here so often." (Then he laughs loudly at his own feeble attempt at humor, believing himself to be clever).


My answer is always.
You can not afford me.

Rob S

[TheOwl]

I have been abused and yelled because a copier is down. If they continue while I have the machine apart, that's the way it stays. I'll pack my tools up and just leave.

If it's really bad straight from the get go, just walk out without even looking at the machine.

Q... Why does this machine always breakdown?
A... That's because you keep using it. If you don't use the copier, it won't breakdown.

[schooltech]

How about when they hold the phone up to the machine so you can hear the noise.

I used it to fix an improperly loaded stapler cartridge on a 1075 once when they did that!!!!!

[KenB]

A more serious problem...

What's your company policy on abusive customers that use very abrasive language, including a number of "F" bombs?

I walked into a firestorm last Friday and had this very thing happen. The customer had every right to be irritated. His old machine had already been picked up, delivery was 3 days late, and the wireless card we ordered added another 2 days, as it was also delayed. He said that this put him a week behind in production, and we were costing him money.

Regardless of reason, there was no reason to be torn into (this was the company owner in a small business) without him knowing me from Adam.

My understanding is that it's our option to leave when this happens. I didn't, and never have, but that was the closet I ever came.

Just wondering how many of us have been put in the same position.

[KopyKat]

My favorite is when they want you to call them first, to tell them whats wrong with the machine, or they want to know can I fix it over the phone.
Often times I want to say can a surgen operate over the phone, but I bite my tounge and say no Mr or Ms cust, I have to see the machine.

How about when they hold the phone up to the machine so you can hear the noise.

[KopyKat]

Or how about this one...

Q: (well, more of a statement, but irritating nonetheless)
"We ought to get you your own office and a coffee cup with your name on it since you're here so often." (Then he laughs loudly at his own feeble attempt at humor, believing himself to be clever).

A: (wouldn't do it of course, but the thought is comforting for some reason)
Set him on fire and giggle like a little girl as he pours hot coffee on himself to douse the flames.

When they say that to me, I respond with "When is payday?" "When is the Company Picnic?" "Which office is mine and who will be my administrative assistant?"

Or how about this one...

Q: (well, more of a statement, but irritating nonetheless)
"We ought to get you your own office and a coffee cup with your name on it since you're here so often." (Then he laughs loudly at his own feeble attempt at humor, believing himself to be clever).

A: (wouldn't do it of course, but the thought is comforting for some reason)
Set him on fire and giggle like a little girl as he pours hot coffee on himself to douse the flames.

[blackcat4866]

I like that one myself.

My favorite has to be when I have a machine gutted with the subassemblies lying all around me and someone walks up and asks "can I make a copy?"

My pat answer for this one is "I'd like to see that! Go ahead, if you think you can."

Q...When I was in [ insert name of other place here]. our repairman used to [insert list of amazing things other repairman used to do].
A...You should have married him and brought him with you, cause now all you have is me, and I am an asshole.

Perfect response...

[fixthecopier]

Sarcasm? Why I would never think of being sarcastic to a customer.

Q... Can we have a new one?
A... Putting a new copier here will not make the people using it any smarter than they already are.

Q... Is it broke?
A... No, they are mailing you a new copier one piece at a time and I come by and install them as they arrive.

Q...This thing is a piece of crap!
A... A copier is truly a reflection of the environment it is in.

Q...When I was in [ insert name of other place here]. our repairman used to [insert list of amazing things other repairman used to do].
A...You should have married him and brought him with you, cause now all you have is me, and I am an asshole.

Q...I am tired of calling your shop out here.
A...There are other people in the office, you should let one of them call next time.

Q...Are you the repairman?
A...No, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Q...Are you the copy guy?
A...No I am the telephone guy, I am just a really bad one, please help and point to the telephone.

Q...How did you get into this line of work?
A...I lost a bet.

Q...How did you get into this line of work?
A... I had no choice, my dog ate my medical degree.

Phone rings at night...Sir this is the Military Police Battalion. That nice copier you got for us has a message on the screen that says "Please add toner. Is that something we can take care of ourselves?"
A...NO, you must unplug the machine and wait til morning for me, or bad things will happen.


I promise I have used each and every one of them. Remember what John Wayne said..."Life is tough, but it's a lot tougher if you are stupid"

[mikadonovan]

My favorite has to be when I have a machine gutted with the subassemblies lying all around me and someone walks up and asks "can I make a copy?"
I normally just say "you have got to be kidding" although in my mind I want to say "why sure you can. All these parts you see surrounding me have nothing to do with machine operation, they are just extra parts they thrown in to make the machine look good. By the way, what's the stupidest question you have ever asked somone?"

[vincent64]

My favorite is when they want you to call them first, to tell them whats wrong with the machine, or they want to know can I fix it over the phone.
Often times I want to say can a surgen operate over the phone, but I bite my tounge and say no Mr or Ms cust, I have to see the machine.