Things you would love to say to a customer

[mascan42]

Why does my doc feeder keep breaking?

I keep finding paper clips in it.

How would paper clips get in my copier? Do I look like an idiot?

No. You look like someone who keeps an open box of paper clips on the shelf above the copier.

[Robert Sveinson]

I especially like the customers who even upon seeing you behind the machine with the panel off, on your knees, tools every where. no power light on the copier. And still asks " CAN I MAKE A QUICK COPY" I always say "Sure go ahead, you may want to darken it a little cause someone unplugged the copier...WTF

================================================== ====
I was once lucky enough to have 3 coin-op Xerox 4000s side by side in
the University Students Bldg. Any time I had a call there I would carry
in my tool kit, another kit for cleaning stuff, a big noisy vacuum cleaner
and 25 lbs of steel developer.
If all three machines were ingesting nickles I would get into the line up
that looked like to be short. If some one came and stood in line behind me
I would ID myself and explain that when my turn comes at the machine
I will be shutting it down for an unkinown length of time. OK
they got into another line, good! Now it is my turn, and after using all my
fabulous brain power to analyze the problem I proceeded to take it
apart. I arranged my tool kit, cleaning kit, vacuum cleaner, developer
material, and drum so that the students and I were widely separated.
So arranged one day, before I sat down to start performing my
magic I went to take a pee AND wash my hands. As I was coming back
to the scene of the crime I noticed that the 2 running machines
were doing a brisk business.........and that was good too.
As I was walking towards the casualty I spotted a person who must
have been a Prof.......lots of books, papers etc. Any way
he very carefully steps over and around all the obstacles that I had
strategically placed for my protection. Bless him... he was very careful
and didn't touch or move anything but the document lid, put in
his nickle and nothing except embarassment. When he saw me he realized
what had happened and apologized I smiled, and said " not to worry".
I suggested that he grab a spot in one of the 2 lines that were producing
copies, and said to leave the sheets that he wanted copied on
the machine that I was working on, and if my machine was ready to
copy before he got to the front of his line I would use his "originals"
as test patterns. If he got to the front of his line first I could just
hand him his originals and he could carry on even at 5 cents each.
I won the race, used his test originals, and proved that the copier
would make the required number of copies as promised.
Next time he saw me he wanted to give some money......very sinful.
I accepted a coffee at his expense, and the world kept turning!

[Robert Sveinson]

================================================== ====
I was once lucky enough to have 3 coin-op Xerox 4000s side by side in
the University Students Bldg. Any time I had a call there I would carry
in my tool kit, another kit for cleaning stuff, a big noisy vacuum cleaner
and 25 lbs of steel developer.
If all three machines were ingesting nickles I would get into the line up
that looked like to be short. If some one came and stood in line behind me
I would ID myself and explain that when my turn comes at the machine
I will be shutting it down for an unkinown length of time. OK
they got into another line, good! Now it is my turn, and after using all my
fabulous brain power to analyze the problem I proceeded to take it
apart. I arranged my tool kit, cleaning kit, vacuum cleaner, developer
material, and drum so that the students and I were widely separated.
So arranged one day, before I sat down to start performing my
magic I went to take a pee AND wash my hands. As I was coming back
to the scene of the crime I noticed that the 2 running machines
were doing a brisk business.........and that was good too.
As I was walking towards the casualty I spotted a person who must
have been a Prof.......lots of books, papers etc. Any way
he very carefully steps over and around all the obstacles that I had
strategically placed for my protection. Bless him... he was very careful
and didn't touch or move anything but the document lid, put in
his nickle and nothing except embarassment. When he saw me he realized
what had happened and apologized I smiled, and said " not to worry".
I suggested that he grab a spot in one of the 2 lines that were producing
copies, and said to leave the sheets that he wanted copied on
the machine that I was working on, and if my machine was ready to
copy before he got to the front of his line I would use his "originals"
as test patterns. If he got to the front of his line first I could just
hand him his originals and he could carry on even at 5 cents each.
I won the race, used his test originals, and proved that the copier
would make the required number of copies as promised.
Next time he saw me he wanted to give some money......very sinful.
I accepted a coffee at his expense, and the world kept turning!

================================================== =====

Jeez! Am I that verbose?
Is every body out there asleep?
No wonder I live alone!

Robert

[montana]

hi... i like to say
shut your big mouth &leave me alone to do my job in peace of mind....
don not panic when i tell you the price........

[banginbishop]

have you brought any toner?

do i look like the fu**ing delivery boy?