Things you would love to say to a customer

[Koosie]

haha! Looking at the posts I'm getting the impression that fixing a copier is much easier that handling the customer! Or is it the copier that gets on our nerves and then we take it out on the people around us?

[Rob Sandberg]

This will get fixed much faster with you in the other room.

I was onsite training with another tech when he said this to a customer.
The guy went into the other room.

Rob S

[mrwho]

Is your idiocy natural or did you have to practice it a lot?

[fixthecopier]

I drove 4 hours yesterday, to a rural area near the mountains, to pick up a shredder because the add oil light was blinking.


"Some people were never meant to own complicated things like office equipment. By the way , how long will I have to drive before the banjo music I hear stops"

[Tim C]

1. OK who has been sitting on the Glass again?! We may have to do a line up.
2. I understand how you feel, if it were me I'd feel the same way.

3. This repair comes with a " CLEAR THE DOOR WARRANTY" incase you were wondering.

4. It may not have been doing this before I got here..."It is NOW" deal with it.

5. We do charge even if we can't fix it...Its not our fault you have a piece of crap copier.

[prntrfxr]

Things you would love to say to a customer

We do charge even if we can't fix it...Its not our fault you have a piece of crap copier.

This one never stops amazing me, but usually they shut up when you say,"I understand but, if you went to the doctor, he said you had cancer, and the operation didn't fix the problem, do you think you wouldn't get charged for it? Yes you would. Why then, do you think when your copier gets sick and the technical doctor's operation didn't fix the problem, that you're not going to get charged at least for the labor?" Works every time. Usually guys question this more than the ladies, but ladies have unique directions they go in to complain.

[banginbishop]

I did once say a few things to a manager of a company who was acting the prick. I started out as a service co-oridinator i.e i took the calls for the engineers.

engineer phones me to say hes stuck in traffic for the first call, been there for an hour so far - ok i'll call them.

so i call them so say he's stuck "no problem, some of our staff are in the same traffic jam" replies the customer

2 minutes later
me - hello. blah, blah
customer -wheres are engineer, he should have been here by now
me - i've just spoken to one of your staff to say hes stuck in traffic like some of your staff are.
customer - well you dont sound to concerned about it?
me - well what do you expect me to do, i've just phoned up to tell you hes stuck in the traffic jam the same one as your staff what can i do?
customer - well i dont like your attitude, whats your name?

so i told him and told my service director who said dont worry i'll deal with it - ignore it managment tosser from a chocolate company in banbury in the early 90's

[TonerMunkeh]

2. I can fix the copier, but I can't fix stupid

Used that one.

[fixthecopier]

After being called back because the paper was not loaded correctly, for the second time, the female Sgt.Major started to bitch about wanting a new copier. I replied "Putting a new copier here will not make the people using it any smarter than they already are".
She slammed the door on her way out.

[Shadow1]

Had a customer today call in to replace a cleaning web. Nice guy, but he "knew everything" and hung around chatting about other machines and other techs.

"yeah, its been a good machine. I know those cleaning webs work good but they still gotta be changed once in a while. So that's it, huh?"

I had already changed the web and was cleaning up the rest of the machine. "Sir, that's the Charge Corona - totally different area of the machine"

[Zackuth]

I went on one call, and it was about 3:45 when I got there. I told the lady, who was out side the office smoking a cigarette, who I was and I was going to go look at the copier. She doesn't say "Hi", "Hello", doesn't introduce herself. All I get is "Whatever you need to do better be done in 45 minutes because I leave here at 4:30." I told her no problem, 10-15 minutes and I'm outta here. What I wanted to say was "Well, since the job I need to do will take 46 minutes, I'll come back another time."

Then she had the nerve to give me one of those "By the way, while you're here..." deals when I said I was done.

[Rob Sandberg]

Oh by the way did you call that in so I would bring the parts needed.

No

Oh well. See you next week.
I always wanted to say that.
Rob S

[mrwho]

Oh by the way did you call that in so I would bring the parts needed.

Use that one everytime I have the chance.

[Tim C]

I especially like the customers who even upon seeing you behind the machine with the panel off, on your knees, tools every where. no power light on the copier. And still asks " CAN I MAKE A QUICK COPY" I always say "Sure go ahead, you may want to darken it a little cause someone unplugged the copier...WTF

[Robert Sveinson]

Copier won't turn on?

Did you buy it dinner and rubs its back first?


(I've actually used that one)

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