Joke of the Day

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  • izzynut
    Gov.

    5,000+ Posts
    • Aug 2013
    • 5347

    #7576
    Re: Joke of the Day

    4480EDB1-DCF2-41D9-8AEB-EF6AC9967086.jpg

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    • izzynut
      Gov.

      5,000+ Posts
      • Aug 2013
      • 5347

      #7577
      Re: Joke of the Day

      C379D873-F6FC-49B1-AF5D-AE6838ABEA87.jpg

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      • Shadow
        PHD in Sh!t Disturbing

        250+ Posts
        • Sep 2011
        • 455

        #7578
        Re: Joke of the Day

        A woman goes to her doctor and says she wants an operation because her vagina lips are much too large.
        She asks the doctor to keep the operation a secret as she's embarrassed and doesn't want anyone to find out. The doctor agrees.
        She wakes up from her operation and finds three roses carefully placed beside her bed.
        Outraged she immediately calls in the doctor and says, "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"
        "Don't worry," he says, "I didn't tell anybody. The first rose is from me. I felt bad because you went through this all by yourself. The second one is from the nurse. She assisted me with the operation, and she had the operation done herself."
        "Who is the third rose from?" she asked.
        "Oh," says the doctor, "that rose is from the guy upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears!"
        $hit Happens - Deal with it and move on.....................................sigpic....................................Lock & Load

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        • izzynut
          Gov.

          5,000+ Posts
          • Aug 2013
          • 5347

          #7579
          Re: Joke of the Day

          9BFF1A98-AF11-48B6-969D-AAF2D12D24DC.jpg

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          • izzynut
            Gov.

            5,000+ Posts
            • Aug 2013
            • 5347

            #7580
            Re: Joke of the Day

            053EF067-6759-432C-8B92-FB217F935F7E.jpg

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            • izzynut
              Gov.

              5,000+ Posts
              • Aug 2013
              • 5347

              #7581
              Re: Joke of the Day

              AEC49A4D-F3F4-4CF9-9D39-4A0CD38F877B.jpg

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              • izzynut
                Gov.

                5,000+ Posts
                • Aug 2013
                • 5347

                #7582
                Re: Joke of the Day

                A6E46438-D9FA-446F-AE8D-4C3D93142884.jpg

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                • slimslob
                  Retired

                  Site Contributor
                  25,000+ Posts
                  • May 2013
                  • 36872

                  #7583
                  Re: Joke of the Day

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                  • slimslob
                    Retired

                    Site Contributor
                    25,000+ Posts
                    • May 2013
                    • 36872

                    #7584
                    Re: Joke of the Day

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                    • slimslob
                      Retired

                      Site Contributor
                      25,000+ Posts
                      • May 2013
                      • 36872

                      #7585
                      Re: Joke of the Day

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                      • slimslob
                        Retired

                        Site Contributor
                        25,000+ Posts
                        • May 2013
                        • 36872

                        #7586
                        Re: Joke of the Day

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                        • slimslob
                          Retired

                          Site Contributor
                          25,000+ Posts
                          • May 2013
                          • 36872

                          #7587
                          Re: Joke of the Day

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                          • slimslob
                            Retired

                            Site Contributor
                            25,000+ Posts
                            • May 2013
                            • 36872

                            #7588
                            Re: Joke of the Day

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                            • izzynut
                              Gov.

                              5,000+ Posts
                              • Aug 2013
                              • 5347

                              #7589
                              Re: Joke of the Day

                              A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.

                              So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman seated over there'

                              ..... and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.

                              She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

                              The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants'.

                              After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return.

                              He folded his note, handed it to the waiter and asked him to deliver it to the lady.

                              It read:

                              'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be. I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages. I have beautiful homes in Aspen and Miami, and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana. And there is over twenty million dollars in my bank accounts and portfolio.

                              But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches. Just send the wine back.'😂

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                              • izzynut
                                Gov.

                                5,000+ Posts
                                • Aug 2013
                                • 5347

                                #7590
                                Re: Joke of the Day

                                2C35F5F5-E886-41D6-9959-6BA907FF7603.jpeg
                                Originally posted by slimslob

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