Joke of the Day

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  • slimslob
    Retired

    Site Contributor
    25,000+ Posts
    • May 2013
    • 36871

    #7546
    Re: Joke of the Day

    A South Carolina Divorce

    A judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce and asks, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

    "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

    "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

    "It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded.

    "I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"

    "I have an aunt and uncle and 12 cousins living here in town, as well as my husband's parents."

    The judge took a deep breath and asked, "Do you have a real grudge?"

    "No, we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one cuz we don't have a car."

    "Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

    "Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music --- all that hip hop and rap tap --- but we can't seem to do anything about it."

    "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

    "Yes, he gets up every morning before I do and makes the coffee."

    The judge asked, "Is your husband a nagger?"

    "Oh, hell no, he's as white as you and me!"

    Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why in hell do you want a divorce?"

    "Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce, my husband does. The damn fool says he can't communicate with me."

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    • slimslob
      Retired

      Site Contributor
      25,000+ Posts
      • May 2013
      • 36871

      #7547

      Comment

      • izzynut
        Gov.

        5,000+ Posts
        • Aug 2013
        • 5347

        #7548
        Re: Joke of the Day

        C4F4D325112948E5AFD4CD10F7A8C34C1.jpg
        .... and that, my friends,


        is why the chicken crossed the road.

        Comment

        • izzynut
          Gov.

          5,000+ Posts
          • Aug 2013
          • 5347

          #7549
          Re: Joke of the Day

          97C9F68C-5E2F-4CA7-89C1-A78F9A2660CC.jpg

          Comment

          • izzynut
            Gov.

            5,000+ Posts
            • Aug 2013
            • 5347

            #7550
            Re: Joke of the Day

            303DB273-F4D4-40AB-A5C7-0F72DEABD903.jpg

            Comment

            • izzynut
              Gov.

              5,000+ Posts
              • Aug 2013
              • 5347

              #7551
              Re: Joke of the Day
              Globalization?

              A definition of globalization that I can understand and to which I now can relate:
              Question:
              What is the truest definition ofGlobalization?
              Answer :
              Princess Diana's death.

              Question:How come?

              Answer :

              An English Princess with an Egyptian boyfriend
              crashes in a French tunnel, riding in a German
              car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian
              who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you
              Challenge the spelling), followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
              on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor,
              using Brazilian medicines.
              This is sent to you by a Canadian, using American Bill Gates' technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, or phone that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled
              by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian
              truck drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexicans Who are in the
              US Illegally.
              That, my friends, is Globalization


              Comment

              • izzynut
                Gov.

                5,000+ Posts
                • Aug 2013
                • 5347

                #7552
                Re: Joke of the Day

                D8EA91CB-AC60-432C-B777-9040C624B544.jpg

                Comment

                • izzynut
                  Gov.

                  5,000+ Posts
                  • Aug 2013
                  • 5347

                  #7553
                  Re: Joke of the Day

                  2E14FCF2-9196-410A-96E1-625AA4CC7507.jpg

                  Comment

                  • izzynut
                    Gov.

                    5,000+ Posts
                    • Aug 2013
                    • 5347

                    #7554
                    Re: Joke of the Day

                    2683911A-8B02-4249-BBBE-26516876B9E6.jpg

                    Comment

                    • izzynut
                      Gov.

                      5,000+ Posts
                      • Aug 2013
                      • 5347

                      #7555
                      Re: Joke of the Day

                      E02B393A-1EF4-40DA-880F-3BE8E73D96AC.jpg

                      Comment

                      • izzynut
                        Gov.

                        5,000+ Posts
                        • Aug 2013
                        • 5347

                        #7556
                        Re: Joke of the Day

                        A2C2138D-27C9-4B3B-B46B-E7CAC1DD2268.jpg

                        Comment

                        • izzynut
                          Gov.

                          5,000+ Posts
                          • Aug 2013
                          • 5347

                          #7557
                          Re: Joke of the Day

                          8DFE298F-1B57-432B-8865-8C907080B98F.jpg

                          Comment

                          • izzynut
                            Gov.

                            5,000+ Posts
                            • Aug 2013
                            • 5347

                            #7558
                            Re: Joke of the Day

                            27CBFB8E-BC5A-4CF4-816A-CC29DC65A62D.jpg

                            Comment

                            • slimslob
                              Retired

                              Site Contributor
                              25,000+ Posts
                              • May 2013
                              • 36871

                              #7559
                              Re: Joke of the Day
                              Redneck Ray is sitting at the bar in a Houston pub, silently nursing a beer. Suddenly a big burly man walks in and slaps Ray so hard that he falls off the stool.


                              Comment

                              • izzynut
                                Gov.

                                5,000+ Posts
                                • Aug 2013
                                • 5347

                                #7560
                                Re: Joke of the Day

                                7FA4558D-04D8-4983-8052-2D232F56D18D.jpg

                                Comment

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