Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
[COLOR=var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText)]So, a man is shipwrecked at sea, and after a long time, he sees an island with a sheep on it, grazing. Now, this man has a problem, because he has the horn big time, and after not seeing another living thing for so long, he’s really desperate. So he goes ashore and makes a beeline for the sheep. Suddenly, a large dog emerges from the bushes, gets between him and the sheep and snarls viciously at him. Dejected, he retreats to a safe distance.
A few days later, he’s desperate enough to try again. But again, the dog comes out and snarls at him, forcing him to retreat.
A few days later, he tries again for a third time. Same result - the dog snarls at him until he leaves.
Then, the next day, he hears a screaming noise out to sea, and sees a woman desperately struggling to stay above water. Acting on instinct, he rushes into the water, swims out to her and drags her to safety.
Once they reach the shore, he helps the woman to his camp, gives her one of his salvaged blankets to wrap herself in while her clothes dry, and cracks open a coconut for her. Crying, she thanks him profusely, and tells him she’ll do anything for him to say thanks
“Anything?” He says, his eyes glinting.
“Yes, anything!” She assures him
“Well, in that case…” he says with a smile. “Could you go and distract that big dog over there for like ten minutes?”
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Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
A police officer was patrolling late at night off the main highway. At nearly midnight, he sees a couple in a car, in lovers' lane, with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.
Puzzled by this surprising situation, The cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.
The young man lowers his window. "Uh, yes, Officer?"
The cop asks: "What are you doing?"
The young man says: "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine."
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says: "And, her, what is she doing?"
The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails."
Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a lover's lane and nothing is happening!
The cop asks: "What's your age, young man?"
The young man says: "I'm 22, sir."
The cop asks: "And her, what's her age?"
The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.
When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totalling $95,000.
He asked her about the contents.
'When we were to be married,' she said, ' my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving!!
He almost burst with happiness.
'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'
'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
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