Joke of the Day

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  • izzynut
    Gov.

    5,000+ Posts
    • Aug 2013
    • 5347

    #8911
    Re: Joke of the Day

    An old farmer stopped by the service station to have his truck fixed.

    They couldn't do it while he waited, so he decided to walk home.

    On the way he stopped at the Hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint.


    He then dropped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.


    However, struggling outside the store he realised he had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.


    While he was pondering his situation, he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost.


    She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?'

    The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I'd walk you there but I can't carry all this.'



    The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand,
    put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'

    'Why, thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl to her destination.

    On the way he said, 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'

    The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.



    How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'

    The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose.



    How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'



    The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.'

    Comment

    • izzynut
      Gov.

      5,000+ Posts
      • Aug 2013
      • 5347

      #8912
      Re: Joke of the Day

      Little Johnny walked into class every morning with a black eye.

      After a while his teacher got worried and asked him about it.

      Johnny's answer was: "Our house is very small miss.

      Me, my mother and my father, we sleep on the same bed.

      Every night my father asks, 'Johnny are you sleeping?'

      Then I say 'No' and then he slaps my face and gives me a black eye."

      So the teacher says to him, "Tonight when your father asks again, keep dead quiet and don't answer".

      The following morning Little Johnny comes to school and his eye is fine, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief, but the day after that Johnny comes back with a severe black eye again.

      "My goodness Johnny, why the black eye again?"

      He tells her: "Miss, Dad asked me again, 'Johnny are you sleeping?... and I shut up and kept dead still. Then my father and my mother started moving, you know at the same time, Mum was breathing erratically, kicking her legs up frantically and squealing like a demented hyena on the bed"... Then my father asks my mother: 'Are you coming?'

      Then my mum says, 'Yes I'm coming, are you coming too?' and my dad answered 'Yes'.

      They don't usually go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me.!"

      Comment

      • hossein_electronic71
        Technician
        • Jun 2015
        • 15

        #8913
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        Comment

        • izzynut
          Gov.

          5,000+ Posts
          • Aug 2013
          • 5347

          #8914
          Re: Joke of the Day

          BEC49984-8EBB-48BB-9B29-50D20330FDE2.jpg

          Comment

          • izzynut
            Gov.

            5,000+ Posts
            • Aug 2013
            • 5347

            #8915
            Re: Joke of the Day

            CDDE45FF-955A-4A8B-B6F2-AE3F1BF2F510.jpg

            Comment

            • izzynut
              Gov.

              5,000+ Posts
              • Aug 2013
              • 5347

              #8916
              Re: Joke of the Day

              A9398360-A1B7-448C-B30A-9E34BB374DF6.jpg

              Comment

              • izzynut
                Gov.

                5,000+ Posts
                • Aug 2013
                • 5347

                #8917
                Re: Joke of the Day

                1451753584823-2.jpg

                Comment

                • izzynut
                  Gov.

                  5,000+ Posts
                  • Aug 2013
                  • 5347

                  #8918
                  Re: Joke of the Day

                  1451753584937-3.jpg

                  Comment

                  • izzynut
                    Gov.

                    5,000+ Posts
                    • Aug 2013
                    • 5347

                    #8919
                    Re: Joke of the Day

                    1451753991746-15.jpg

                    Comment

                    • izzynut
                      Gov.

                      5,000+ Posts
                      • Aug 2013
                      • 5347

                      #8920
                      Re: Joke of the Day

                      1451753683228-6.jpg

                      Comment

                      • izzynut
                        Gov.

                        5,000+ Posts
                        • Aug 2013
                        • 5347

                        #8921
                        Re: Joke of the Day

                        Ron 6227.jpg

                        Comment

                        • izzynut
                          Gov.

                          5,000+ Posts
                          • Aug 2013
                          • 5347

                          #8922
                          Re: Joke of the Day

                          Ron 6224.jpg

                          Comment

                          • izzynut
                            Gov.

                            5,000+ Posts
                            • Aug 2013
                            • 5347

                            #8923
                            Re: Joke of the Day

                            4.jpg

                            Comment

                            • izzynut
                              Gov.

                              5,000+ Posts
                              • Aug 2013
                              • 5347

                              #8924
                              Re: Joke of the Day

                              1451753708196-7.jpg

                              Comment

                              • izzynut
                                Gov.

                                5,000+ Posts
                                • Aug 2013
                                • 5347

                                #8925
                                Re: Joke of the Day

                                1451753738813-8.jpg

                                Comment

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