What's the most whack customer description???

[Robert Sveinson]

The fun thing about that one is it is universal because every digital copier with a doc feeder has that stupid little glass.

I actually got in trouble once for explaining about that glass and what happens when you get a spot on it. Girl called in and said I was being "condescending".


Still had to clean the glass.

================================================== ====

Isn't that Technician 1, Operator zero?

Had a situation with a bus manufacturer who had 2 Xerox
8830s. The operators were the classic bag of hoe handles,
and it started to show that all 3 of us toner rats were about
at the end of things.
We 3 kings were elevated in stature from scum to condescending.
Then as quick as a wink they cancelled the 2 service contracts
with us Xerox Dealer and signed up with Xerox.
We were then 3 very happy toner rats, and still are. We 3 are
also sympathetic for the Xerox guys, all of whom we know!

We 3 then told the sales man, as he was trying to sell them
some non Xerox wide printer that if they buy any thing
you will have the next 2 weeks to find new techs.
That was in May of 2004 and I retired but the other 2 guys
are happily working there!

[TonerMunkeh]

Best one I see is "toner has exploded".

Usually a light dusting on the inner front cover of an Adonis or Martini.

[mabawser]

"Our machine wont double side. Thats 6 months since it last broke down, this machine is rubbish....cant we get a new one?"

Walked in and some one had unscrewed the ADU and left it sitting behind the machine!!!

[mascan42]

Most common:

It says replace image unit (x)
I arrive and find it needs toner (x)

or the complete opposite

I put toner in, but it keeps asking for toner.
I arrive and it needs the image unit.

I crashed my car on the way to one of these. You can imagine my reaction when I found out there was no point in going there in the first place.

[Vista Tech]

List of my few favorites

Enduser 1: Hello, our machine just died. Send someone out to fix it now.
Me: So what seems to be the problem?
Enduser 1: Its not responding at all. We're tired of this POS machine.
Me: Can you do me a fav****
Enduser 1: We've already done everything we can just get out here!!!
Office Manager *in the background*: Tell him to hurry up we need to get these charts done!!

I arrive to the site after she so rudely cut me off, made sure that the entire office knew I was there. And when I got to the machine I looked at her and said:
"Oh this is bad. This is really bad, I think we might have to start looking into replacing this machine."
She starts freaking out and I looked at the last girl using the machine and the office manager, plug it in, copy a test chart and strut out the door.

************************************************** ***

Enduser: My fax machine isn't working anymore. I can't send / receive / make copies!! Everything comes out blank!
Me: Ok mam please bare with me for a moment while I help you troubleshoot this over the phone. I'm assuming you have the machine plugged in correct?
Enduser: Yes, the lights are on.
Me: Do me a favor and try and make a copy.
Enduser: Ok.... Its blank.
Me: Have you replaced the toner / drum recently?
Enduser: Yes, I just did it earlier today. Then everything stopped working after that.
Me: Can you do me a favor and take the toner and drum out and remove the yellow plastic strip that says "Please Remove Before Installation"
The line went blank after that.

[pacman]

Enduser 1: Hello, our machine just died. Send someone out to fix it now.
Me: So what seems to be the problem?
Enduser 1: Its not responding at all. We're tired of this POS machine.
Me: Can you do me a fav****
Enduser 1: We've already done everything we can just get out here!!!
Office Manager *in the background*: Tell him to hurry up we need to get these charts done!!

I arrive to the site after she so rudely cut me off, made sure that the entire office knew I was there. And when I got to the machine I looked at her and said:
"Oh this is bad. This is really bad, I think we might have to start looking into replacing this machine."
She starts freaking out and I looked at the last girl using the machine and the office manager, plug it in, copy a test chart and strut out the door.

************************************************** ***

Enduser: My fax machine isn't working anymore. I can't send / receive / make copies!! Everything comes out blank!
Me: Ok mam please bare with me for a moment while I help you troubleshoot this over the phone. I'm assuming you have the machine plugged in correct?
Enduser: Yes, the lights are on.
Me: Do me a favor and try and make a copy.
Enduser: Ok.... Its blank.
Me: Have you replaced the toner / drum recently?
Enduser: Yes, I just did it earlier today. Then everything stopped working after that.
Me: Can you do me a favor and take the toner and drum out and remove the yellow plastic strip that says "Please Remove Before Installation"
The line went blank after that.

Oh, that is GREAT!!!

[Peter Montgomery]

...I think It's The Rollers...

I always get this and I'm sure you do to.

"I think it's the rollers or something"

Always those pesky rollers, they cause everything.

Marks on copies.

"I think it's the rollers"


Streaking.

"I think it's the rollers"

Smoke pouring out the back of the machine

"I think it's the rollers"

Also I always find myself explaining that Drums aren't toner and vise Versa.

[macuk]

NP6030 showing constant jam, customer had loaded duplex with paper (thinking it was a cassette!)

[Jimbo1]

I always get this and I'm sure you do to.

"I think it's the rollers or something"

For me it's always "We added toner." no matter what the copy quality issue and especially if the copies are too dark for some reason that indicates to them that they must add more of what the too black is???

[Peter Montgomery]

Or we Replaced The Toner

For me it's always "We added toner." no matter what the copy quality issue and especially if the copies are too dark for some reason that indicates to them that they must add more of what the too black is???

Or we Replaced The Toner, we shook the toner.

[mascan42]

Re: What's the most whack customer description???

Just last week: a roach has crawled inside under the glass, can you come and get it out?

[mervyn]

Re: What's the most whack customer description???

Had a customer once who poured a bottle of liquid toner from a copycat 220 into the toner hopper of a minolta 310

[mervyn]

Re: What's the most whack customer description???

Went to a call yesterdat , 100 mile round trip , fault stated as network card faulty . Arrived and no lights on nic card , plugged into different ethernet port and presto it worked . Their I T guy had spent over 2 hours and decided it was the copier at fault . Took less then 5 minutes .

[Hansoon]

Re: What's the most whack customer description???

Had a customer once who poured a bottle of liquid toner from a copycat 220 into the toner hopper of a minolta 310

Countless the times they put the silicone oil in the hopper instead of the tank with that machine.

Hans

[gwaddle]

Re: What's the most whack customer description???

Went to a call yesterdat , 100 mile round trip , fault stated as network card faulty . Arrived and no lights on nic card , plugged into different ethernet port and presto it worked . Their I T guy had spent over 2 hours and decided it was the copier at fault . Took less then 5 minutes .

I had a similar one. Drove 75 miles because they couldn't print. Line was plugged in from the surge protector to copier, plugged into the wall and the other end of that one was hung over a hook on the wall. Plugged that into the surge protector and everything worked a lot better.