Funny stories I tell customers

[kingarthur]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

I've only ever "set fire" to one machine, it was a Bizhub 420, i'd been working on it, turned it on, and the whole machine lit up like a Christmas, there was a slight puff of smoke, and a burning smell. I started to discreetly look into what happened, then i noticed the customers looking under their desks and checking their sockets. I decided the best thing was to remove it to the workshop, where I plugged it in....and it worked fine. I then noticed a hole in the side of the mains lead, just where it goes into the machine, somehow it had blown a small hole in the side, and must have made the machine "live" very briefly.

I used to repair cash tills, and i had one very obnoxious customer, i'd been to fix his till the previous day, and he'd reported another fault, i took the printer out and a 10p piece fell out, i showed it to him, his reply "F*ck off....you put it there", i asked him what he'd just said, again....he told me to "F*ck off", so i did, i packed up my tool case and left his till in pieces. By the time i'd got back to work, he'd phoned up and reported me, my boss knew what he was like, but said I needed to go back and reassemble it, i said i would, but he should pay the bill when i got there, so he doesn't try and get out of it, the customer reluctantly agreed, so i went back, as i walked in, he threw a cheque at me....i told him i wanted cash, he insisted he was paying by cheque, again i said i wanted cash, as he could cancel a cheque, I wasn't going to open my toolcase until i was paid, it was a sandwich bar, and by this time the customers were queueing up and with out his till working, he was struggling.....he finally caved in.

[tonerhead]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

Years ago in addition to copiers, we also serviced and installed drive through systems for fast food restaurants. This particular restaurant had "speed of service" installed with their system. What speed of service does is to start a timer at the order board, then the timer stops at the pickup window and starts a second timer which stops when the customer leaves the pickup window. The restaurant manager was barking that most shifts from 7 to close the timing was way off and we need to come and fix whatever the issue was. It just didn't make sense because the others were consistently fine and sometimes this particular shift was fine also. Now lets back up to the idea of what a speed of service does. It records the amount of time that a customer has to wait for the food and how fast they get it. So the lower the amount of time, the better according to mgmt. Well some employees were getting grilled because mgmt said they were not moving food fast enough according to this system. So how did it work? A car would break a beam as long as it was by the sign or window, when the beam was restored, the car had left the sign or window, makes sense right?

One night I parked in the lot and figured out why the stats were so off kilter.

Well some young employee figured this system out and as soon as the car left the order board, would open the pickup window, break the beam with his hand before the car pulled up. So in other words, you placed your order and got your food 2 seconds later. That's what it looked like to speed of service.

The next day I told the mgr what I witnessed, I'm pretty sure that kid probably got canned. I think I would have promoted him for his ingenuity.

[blackcat4866]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

Years ago in addition to copiers, we also serviced and installed drive through systems for fast food restaurants. This particular restaurant had "speed of service" installed with their system. What speed of service does is to start a timer at the order board, then the timer stops at the pickup window and starts a second timer which stops when the customer leaves the pickup window. The restaurant manager was barking that most shifts from 7 to close the timing was way off and we need to come and fix whatever the issue was. It just didn't make sense because the others were consistently fine and sometimes this particular shift was fine also. Now lets back up to the idea of what a speed of service does. It records the amount of time that a customer has to wait for the food and how fast they get it. So the lower the amount of time, the better according to mgmt. Well some employees were getting grilled because mgmt said they were not moving food fast enough according to this system. So how did it work? A car would break a beam as long as it was by the sign or window, when the beam was restored, the car had left the sign or window, makes sense right?

One night I parked in the lot and figured out why the stats were so off kilter.

Well some young employee figured this system out and as soon as the car left the order board, would open the pickup window, break the beam with his hand before the car pulled up. So in other words, you placed your order and got your food 2 seconds later. That's what it looked like to speed of service.

The next day I told the mgr what I witnessed, I'm pretty sure that kid probably got canned. I think I would have promoted him for his ingenuity.

Our company would have given him a bonus, and required all other employees to cheat the system likewise. =^..^=

[Copier Whisperer]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

You have to be exceeding careful with truck and trailer tire that have a split rim. They are referred to as widow makers. If you don't have a proper tire cage I would advise not to try inflating one. Watch the video closely at the 1:20 mark.

My father managed a trucking company and lost a driver who hit a curb with a semi tractor. He got out to inspect the damage to the tire. When he bent down to look at it, the wheel exploded taking off part of his head. It was a split-rim wheel.

[fixthecopier]

Re: Funny stories I tell customers

One day, many years ago, I was installing a power supply on a very old Minolta. It was plugged into a power strip along with a pencil sharpener. I unplugged the strip and started the repair. I was in a classroom of second grade students with a very old teacher who had no control over them. They were yelling and talking and having a great time. While putting in the power supply a boy walked up to sharpen his pencil. When it didn't work, he saw the strip unplugged and plugged it back in while my pliers were making contact. A loud bang, my arm flexed throwing the pliers across the room, hitting the wall while a very loud F bomb came out of my mouth. Nobody in the room noticed a thing, except for the terrified little boy staring at me.