Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

[Coptech]

Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

Happened earlier today...Finish the call and present call for signature. I handed her my pen and when she commented on how nice it wrote, I told her "I had dropped it in the toilet earlier but it was still writing OK". I have known this lady for years so I knew I could get away with a joke. You find out how many people in an office actually listen in on conversations when the whole place busts out laughing simultaneously.

[Brett GS]

Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

Was at a bank a few weeks back,the machine was stripped in pieces and a guy walked right passed me and loaded his docs in the adf and couldnt understand why the machine wasnt pulling the pages in when he pressed start....well for one the machine was unplugged and in pieces,he then askes is this machine not operational,i didnt even awnser him i just pointed to all the loose parts....he then walked off.

[Brian8506]

Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

After telling a customer countless times that they needed better paper and knowing they were buying their paper because of the price, I asked "How much are you paying for your paper?". She replied "$32 a case". I replied "You got your moneys worth"

[PeterG]

Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

Was at a bank a few weeks back,the machine was stripped in pieces and a guy walked right passed me and loaded his docs in the adf and couldnt understand why the machine wasnt pulling the pages in when he pressed start....well for one the machine was unplugged and in pieces,he then askes is this machine not operational,i didnt even awnser him i just pointed to all the loose parts....he then walked off.

You must be fairly new.
That is a daily occurrence.

[fixthecopier]

Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

You must be fairly new.
That is a daily occurrence.

Yep, I remember having this Konica 2510 gutted and strung across the counter, was talking to the desk Sargent about stupid things customers do and ask and right on time a young solider walks between us, looks at the gutted machine, puts documents on top, shuts the side door and starts pressing the unlit start button on a dead machine. The Sargent and I looked at each other and just burst out laughing. This just happened to be the same office where about a year earlier I had told them I would be able to find out who broke the copier when I reviewed the pictures. "Pictures?" they ask. I then told them that every time they press the start button a camera behind the LCD takes their picture for reference. A week after that, I walk by and see them turning their heads while pressing start.


I don't want to worry anyone but these were Special Operations soldiers.

[fixthecopier]

Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

I think the best response was, and feel free to use it, when I was sitting on a floor in a hallway with a Bizhub 350 in pieces around me and the Company Commander, unaware that his guys broke the machine with a coat hanger, started giving me shit about how inconvenienced his unit was without the copier. I listened and when he was through, I told him how 3 of his idiots got a coat hanger stuck in a gear pack and damaged a gear. He didn't know what to say, so I responded. "Major, I am not even mad, and do you know why? I am a member of an online tech forum made up of copy techs from around the world. In addition to helping each other solve problems we talk about stupid things customers do. I am sure that having worked out here all these years my tales have almost made me a legend on that site. Guess who I will be talking about tonight?" He walked away unable to respond.

[kingarthur]

Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

Quite often when dealing with customers, they say to me "oh dear..you must think i'm really stupid"....I just look them straight in the eye & respond..."I've always been led to believe the customer is always right...."

[fixthecopier]

Re: Smart ass responses you've gave to customers

Quite often when dealing with customers, they say to me "oh dear..you must think i'm really stupid"....I just look them straight in the eye & respond..."I've always been led to believe the customer is always right...."

Or just let them know that their technological ignorance is a guarantee of your job security.