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Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
Kevin had shingles.
Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this!
Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line. Here's what happened to Kevin:
Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.
Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had....
Kevin said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.
Kevin said, 'Shingles.'
The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Kevin said, 'Outside on the truck.
Where do you want me to unload 'em??'
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Re: Joke of the Day
On the first day of the new seniors' complex, the manager addressed
all the seniors pointing out some of the rules.
"The female sleepingquarterswill be out-of-bounds for all males, and
the male quarters to the females.Anybody caught breaking this rule will
be fined $20 the first time."
He continued, "Anyone caught breaking the rule the second time will be
fined $60.
Being caught a third time will cost $180 in fines. Are there any questions?"
An older gentleman stood up in the crowd and inquired, "How much for a season pass?"Last edited by izzynut; 02-09-2022, 04:56 PM.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.
There are two people under the blanket, instead of just one, her husband. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a cry and a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine!!!!
He says, "Hi darling, your parents came to visit us for the weekend, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"
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Re: Joke of the Day
Paddy phones an ambulance because his mate's been hit by a car.
Paddy: 'Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose
and ears and I tink both his legs are broken.'
Operator: 'What is your location sir?'
Paddy: 'Outside number 28 Eucalyptus Street .'
Operator: 'How do you spell that sir?'
Silence.... (heavy breathing) and after a minute.
Operator: 'Are you there sir?'
More heavy breathing and another minute later.
Operator: 'Sir, can you hear me?'
This goes on for another few minutes until....
Operator: 'Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?'
Paddy: 'Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell Eucalyptus,
so I just dragged him round to Oak Street .'
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Re: Joke of the Day
Late in the night, he finally regained consciousness. H
e was in the hospital, in terrible pain. He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his mouth, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and a nurse hovering over him. He realized that he was obviously in a life-threatening situation.
The nurse gave him a serious, deep look, straight into his eyes, then spoke to him slowly and clearly, enunciating each word and syllable, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your boobs, then?"
AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS A POSITIVE ATTITUDE!
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