Joke of the Day

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • izzynut
    Gov.

    5,000+ Posts
    • Aug 2013
    • 5347

    #6376
    Re: Joke of the Day

    UP & DOWN SEX

    At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish.
    Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day. The gentleman picked the lady up, and they
    headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.


    They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady, 'Do you want to go up or down?'

    All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat !

    When they finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.

    They fished for a while and continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork in the river.

    He again asked the lady , 'Up or down ?'

    There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild passionate love to him again.

    This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day.

    She said yes and there they were the next day, riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in river, and the elderly gentleman asked, 'Up or down ?'

    The woman replied, 'Down.'

    A little puzzled and disappointed, the gentleman guided the boat down the river when he came upon another fork in the river and he asked the lady,' Up or down ?'

    She replied, 'Up.'

    This really confused the gentleman so he asked,

    'What's the deal? Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down you made mad passionate love to me. Now today, nothing!'

    She replied, 'Well, yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I thought the choices were fuck or drown...

    Comment

    • mojorolla
      The Wolf

      2,500+ Posts
      • Jan 2010
      • 2599

      #6377
      Re: Joke of the Day

      The younger techs will get this:
      drake.jpg


      Failing to plan is planning to fail!!!

      Comment

      • izzynut
        Gov.

        5,000+ Posts
        • Aug 2013
        • 5347

        #6378
        Re: Joke of the Day

        image013717.jpg

        Comment

        • izzynut
          Gov.

          5,000+ Posts
          • Aug 2013
          • 5347

          #6379
          Re: Joke of the Day

          ATT00011.jpg

          Comment

          • izzynut
            Gov.

            5,000+ Posts
            • Aug 2013
            • 5347

            #6380
            Re: Joke of the Day

            ATT00004.jpg

            Comment

            • izzynut
              Gov.

              5,000+ Posts
              • Aug 2013
              • 5347

              #6381
              Re: Joke of the Day

              image017459.jpg

              Comment

              • izzynut
                Gov.

                5,000+ Posts
                • Aug 2013
                • 5347

                #6382
                Re: Joke of the Day

                ATT00001.jpg

                Comment

                • izzynut
                  Gov.

                  5,000+ Posts
                  • Aug 2013
                  • 5347

                  #6383

                  Comment

                  • izzynut
                    Gov.

                    5,000+ Posts
                    • Aug 2013
                    • 5347

                    #6384
                    Re: Joke of the Day
                    Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

                    Jan arrives first, wearing beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

                    Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualized kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine.

                    Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.

                    Jan explains that after leaving high school and graduating from Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq. ft. co-op on Fifth Avenue, where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Phoenix.

                    Sue relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second home in Naples, Florida.

                    Mary explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Jim. They run a tropical bird park in Colorado and grow their own vegetables. Jim can stand five parrots, side by side, on his erect penis.

                    Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Wal-Mart. They live in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at a nearby storage facility.

                    Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses' aides in a retirement home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to Alabama.

                    Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg....










                    Comment

                    • izzynut
                      Gov.

                      5,000+ Posts
                      • Aug 2013
                      • 5347

                      #6385
                      Re: Joke of the Day

                      4B71C204-5C0B-45F0-8549-E7B655C4780F.jpg

                      Comment

                      • slimslob
                        Retired

                        Site Contributor
                        25,000+ Posts
                        • May 2013
                        • 37400

                        #6386
                        Re: Joke of the Day

                        Comment

                        • izzynut
                          Gov.

                          5,000+ Posts
                          • Aug 2013
                          • 5347

                          #6387
                          Re: Joke of the Day

                          ATT00013.jpg

                          Comment

                          • izzynut
                            Gov.

                            5,000+ Posts
                            • Aug 2013
                            • 5347

                            #6388
                            Re: Joke of the Day

                            image014821.jpg

                            Comment

                            • tsbservice
                              Field tech

                              Site Contributor
                              5,000+ Posts
                              • May 2007
                              • 7986

                              #6389
                              Re: Joke of the Day

                              Originally posted by izzynut
                              [ATTACH=CONFIG]52170[/ATTACH]
                              Cr.p beer imo.
                              A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
                              Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

                              Comment

                              • izzynut
                                Gov.

                                5,000+ Posts
                                • Aug 2013
                                • 5347

                                #6390
                                Re: Joke of the Day

                                A Golfer walks into the pro shop at the local course and asks the golf pro if they sell ball markers.

                                The golf pro says they do, and they are $1.00.

                                The guy gives the golf pro a dollar.

                                The golf pro opens the register, puts the dollar in, and hands him a dime to use as the marker.



                                This economic model is also used by governments across the globe.

                                Comment

                                Working...