Joke of the Day

[CableGuy]

Re: Joke of the Day

I found some salad dressing at the back of my fridge with a use by date of 21/12/12. I think it's the Mayan-aise.

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

Yep... It was a lot of work, but I finally got my shopping done, the gifts wrapped, and my Christmas tree put up...

[ATTACH=CONFIG]18710[/ATTACH]

...It even smells like real pine!
Here's to a job well done... I'm exhausted - NAP TIME!

hahah

That xmas tree would have been exhausting putting it up.
I understand why you need a nap...

[Zackuth]

Re: Joke of the Day

I found some salad dressing at the back of my fridge with a use by date of 21/12/12. I think it's the Mayan-aise.

That's great!!!!!!

[mjarbar]

Re: Joke of the Day

When I was a child my dad tried to force-feed me.
After a while, my mum said,"Just use a f*#king spoon, Mike.You're not a bloody jedi."

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking, And then I saw her face.

[KenB]

Re: Joke of the Day

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking, And then I saw her face.

Now I'm a believer.

[gwaddle]

Re: Joke of the Day

Now I'm a believer.

Not a trace of doubt in my mind.

[JustManuals]

Re: Joke of the Day

Now I'm a believer.

Neil Diamond wrote that song.

[nmfaxman]

Re: Joke of the Day

The song is "Daydream Believer"
A Folk singer named John Stewart wrote this song. Stewart was a member of The Kingston Trio from 1961 to 1967, and he wrote this shortly after leaving the group and teaming up with a pre-famous John Denver.

According to songfacts.com

[Debs1964]

Re: Joke of the Day

The song is "Daydream Believer"
A Folk singer named John Stewart wrote this song. Stewart was a member of The Kingston Trio from 1961 to 1967, and he wrote this shortly after leaving the group and teaming up with a pre-famous John Denver.

According to songfacts.com

The song is "I'm a believer" and Paul is quite correct, Neil Diamond wrote it

[Gamut]

Re: Joke of the Day

President Obama was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.

"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be used up by the end of the week."

Obama: "Oh damn! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. We'll be ruined. We'll have to ship some in from Mexico ."

Telephone voice says, "Bad idea... The Mexicans will have a field day with this one. We'll be a laughing stock.. What about Britain?"

Obama: "Okay, I'll call David Cameron and tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and three inches thick. That way, they'll continue to respect us as Americans."

Three days later, a delighted President Obama ran out to open the first of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived. He found it full of condoms, 10 inches long and 3 inches thick, exactly as requested... all coloured with Union Flags with small writing on each one:












MADE IN GREAT BRITAIN - SIZE: SMALL

[KenB]

Re: Joke of the Day

Neil Diamond wrote that song.

He recorded it and performed it, too.

[KenB]

Re: Joke of the Day

The song is "Daydream Believer"
A Folk singer named John Stewart wrote this song. Stewart was a member of The Kingston Trio from 1961 to 1967, and he wrote this shortly after leaving the group and teaming up with a pre-famous John Denver.

According to songfacts.com

"Daydream Believer" has the hook of "Cheer up sleepy Jean", in it, (followed by "Oh what can it mean to a daydream believer and a homecoming queen).

And no, I did not use Google to find it.

Oh, great, now I'll have that song stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

[Shadow]

Re: Joke of the Day

Best marriage proposal ever - YouTube

this is hilarious

[Debs1964]

Re: Joke of the Day

Best marriage proposal ever - YouTube

this is hilarious

That is so funny LOL

[ni311]

Re: Joke of the Day

Best marriage proposal ever - YouTube

this is hilarious

how romantic...