Joke of the Day

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

Did you hear the one about the two gay guys caught in a phone booth ?
The copper said "for the record could you both clearly state your names."
One said Michael Fitzpatrick.
The other said Patrick Fitzmichael.

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tale telling begins. The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns, using my bare hands."

The second can't stand to be outdone. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."

The third cowboy stayed silent, ...slowly stirring the coals with his penis.

[Tricky]

Re: Joke of the Day

I was having a brilliant 3some with these two dirty bitches at work, i was doing the blonde one in the **** while the black one licked and nibbled my balls. Then the boss walked in and needless to say i lost my job at the kennels!!

[Tricky]

Re: Joke of the Day

The best engine in the world is the fanny (vagina) ,it takes any size piston, is self lubricating, starts with one finger and every 4 weeks does its own oil change.

[Tricky]

Re: Joke of the Day

In 1272, the Arabic Muslims INVENTED the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.
In 1873, the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat!

[Tricky]

Re: Joke of the Day

Boss receives a call: "I'm too sick to work today"

"We're very busy, how sick are you?"

"Well, I'm in bed with my sister"

[Tricky]

[JustManuals]

Re: Joke of the Day

The best engine in the world is the fanny (vagina) ,it takes any size piston, is self lubricating, starts with one finger and every 4 weeks does its own oil change.

You forgot the punchline of this joke. " It's just a shame that the management system is intolerable" or something like that.

Paul

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tale telling begins. The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns, using my bare hands."

The second can't stand to be outdone. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."

The third cowboy stayed silent, ...slowly stirring the coals with his penis.

Why does the movie Broke Back Mountain suddenly spring to mind ..............

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

Years ago I worked in a donut factory. It only last for a few weeks.
I got the sack for sticking my dick in the donut maker.
I thought it was ok as I saw the boss sticking his dick in the donut maker too.

Two weeks later the bosses wife sacked her.

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

You forgot the punchline of this joke. " It's just a shame that the management system is intolerable" or something like that.

Paul

Yer but would'nt you love a good pair of dance shoes made out of it ?

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

Why does the movie Broke Back Mountain suddenly spring to mind ..............

Wouldn't know, I never watched it... There's some things a person just plain shouldn't watch in their lifetime, and I think two "cowboys" rear ending each other qualifies for this list... Personally I think it was just an excuse to wear leather chaps.

[Shadow]

Re: Joke of the Day

Splinters In Crotch

A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugging, liberal and an anti-hunter purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a

Democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters.
The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a 'recreational area' so close to a waste treatment facility. I'm sorry, but due to Obama-Care they turned you down."

[nmfaxman]

Re: Joke of the Day

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tale telling begins. The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns, using my bare hands."

The second can't stand to be outdone. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."

The third cowboy stayed silent, ...slowly stirring the coals with his penis.

Standing 2 feet away.

[nmfaxman]

Re: Joke of the Day

I was having a brilliant 3some with these two dirty bitches at work, i was doing the blonde one in the **** while the black one licked and nibbled my balls. Then the boss walked in and needless to say i lost my job at the kennels!!

The black one was her toy. Peanut butter sales dropped that week.


You are perverted, twisted and sick. I like that in a person.