Joke of the Day

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Re: Joke of the Day

Boudreaux went to Hawaii on vacation,
while he was sitting by the pool he spoke to the man sitting next to him, "My name is Boudreaux, i'm from dat Louziane, i'm here on vacation", "my house it caught itself on fire and i get a lil extra money from insurance man".
The man replied, "interesting, i'm here from California and my house flooded and i used the extra insurance money to come here on vacation also.
Boudreaux said, "Mais dats good, but let me axe you one ting, "How de hell did you start de flood?"

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Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply "It could have been worse."


To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it.


On the golf course ⛳ one day, one of them said, "Frank, did you hear about Fred?"


"He came home last night, found his wife💃in bed with another man 🏃, shot them both 👫and then turned the gun 🔫 on himself🚶!"


"That's awful," said Frank, "but it could have been worse."


"How in the hell," asked his bewildered friend, "could it have been worse?"


"Well," replied Frank, "if it happened the night before, I'd be dead now!"

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A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control pills.
"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are birth control pills?"
"Yes, they help me sleep at night."
"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these that could possibly help you sleep!"
She reached out and patted the young doctor's knee and said, "Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16-year-old Granddaughter drinks. And believe me it definitely helps me sleep at night."
You gotta love Grandmas!

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A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us."
Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here." A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, "Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!"