Joke of the Day

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  • izzynut
    Gov.

    5,000+ Posts
    • Aug 2013
    • 5347

    #7171
    Re: Joke of the Day

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    • izzynut
      Gov.

      5,000+ Posts
      • Aug 2013
      • 5347

      #7172
      Re: Joke of the Day

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      • tsbservice
        Field tech

        Site Contributor
        5,000+ Posts
        • May 2007
        • 8029

        #7173
        Re: Joke of the Day

        A guy shows up for work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His buddies all gather around and start asking what happened, where did you get the shiners.

        "I got them in chruch", he responded.

        "In church? You've got to be kidding. How?", they asked.

        "Well I was sitting in church behind this fat woman. When we stood up to sing, I noticed that her dress was stuck in her butt crack. So, without thinking I reached up and pulled it out. So she turns around and hits me right in the eye." he answered.

        "That's only one black eye, how did you get the other one?", they asked.

        "Well, I stood there for a moment rubbing my eye. Then occured to me that she must have wanted it up there, so I reached up and tucked it back in..."
        A tree is known by its fruit, a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost, he who sows courtesy, reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
        Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

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        • izzynut
          Gov.

          5,000+ Posts
          • Aug 2013
          • 5347

          #7174
          Re: Joke of the Day

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          • slimslob
            Retired

            Site Contributor
            25,000+ Posts
            • May 2013
            • 37553

            #7175
            Re: Joke of the Day

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            • slimslob
              Retired

              Site Contributor
              25,000+ Posts
              • May 2013
              • 37553

              #7176
              Re: Joke of the Day

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              • slimslob
                Retired

                Site Contributor
                25,000+ Posts
                • May 2013
                • 37553

                #7177
                Re: Joke of the Day

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                • slimslob
                  Retired

                  Site Contributor
                  25,000+ Posts
                  • May 2013
                  • 37553

                  #7178
                  Re: Joke of the Day

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                  • slimslob
                    Retired

                    Site Contributor
                    25,000+ Posts
                    • May 2013
                    • 37553

                    #7179
                    Re: Joke of the Day

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                    • izzynut
                      Gov.

                      5,000+ Posts
                      • Aug 2013
                      • 5347

                      #7180
                      Re: Joke of the Day



                      The French do not pronounce the letter 'H'. For example, Hot Dog is pronounced Ot Dog and Hudson Hardware is pronounced Udson Ardware.

                      They also insert an 'H' where there is none, by saying Hany (instead of Any) and Hall (instead of All). They talk about Awks & Howls (hawks & owls!).

                      One day in a French immersion class for first graders, the teacher was asking her class to describe the use of Ozonol.

                      Little Mary got up and explained that she had fallen while she was roller skating and scraped her knee. When she got home, her mother cleaned the cut and put some Ozonol on it, then she put on a cartoon bandage, and it was all better!

                      The teacher was so proud of little Mary, and she asked the other children if they had any explanation of the word.

                      Little Pierre raised his hand and started to explain.

                      "Well teacher, da udder nite, me an my fodder har watching da Capitals and da Golden Knights Stanley Cup Ockey Game. But den my mudder start to do da vacuuming. My fodder yell at my mudder, ai, ai, ai, ai, Louise, put dat dam ting haway right now or else I'll stick it up your arse, Ose an all.”

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                      • izzynut
                        Gov.

                        5,000+ Posts
                        • Aug 2013
                        • 5347

                        #7181
                        Re: Joke of the Day

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                        • slimslob
                          Retired

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                          • May 2013
                          • 37553

                          #7182
                          Re: Joke of the Day

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                          • izzynut
                            Gov.

                            5,000+ Posts
                            • Aug 2013
                            • 5347

                            #7183
                            Re: Joke of the Day

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                            • izzynut
                              Gov.

                              5,000+ Posts
                              • Aug 2013
                              • 5347

                              #7184
                              Re: Joke of the Day

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                              • izzynut
                                Gov.

                                5,000+ Posts
                                • Aug 2013
                                • 5347

                                #7185
                                Re: Joke of the Day

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