Snappy comebacks

[mrwho]

Female customer, asking me about the cleaning web near-end warning:

"Just how long is that thing?"

"I'm not going to tell you that!"

*drumfill!*

[kingarthur]

Re: Snappy comebacks

it's not a snappy comeback...but whenever a customer asks me "how long will that bottle of toner last", my response is always.."how long is a piece of string"

[Kidaver]

Re: Snappy comebacks

I usually get the "Is it going to work now?" "How long will it last?" etc etc....

Me: "It's guaranteed till I leave the parking lot."

[Akitu]

Re: Snappy comebacks

"Can I make a copy?"

"Can you reassemble the machine?"

I've used that one more than once... Usually get a chuckle and a prompt "nope".

[KenB]

Re: Snappy comebacks

Customer: "How long have you been doing this"?

Me: "Let's see... what time is it now"?

[copiman]

Re: Snappy comebacks

I usually get the "Is it going to work now?" "How long will it last?" etc etc....

Me: "It's guaranteed till I leave the parking lot."

I tell them we offer a Line of Site warranty. When I'm out of your site the warranty ends.

[10871087]

Re: Snappy comebacks

I tell them we offer a Line of Site warranty. When I'm out of your site the warranty ends.

I always offered the "2-light warranty", it lasts until you see my two taillights pulling out of your parking lot.

[10871087]

Re: Snappy comebacks

I always offered the "2-light warranty", it lasts until you see my two taillights pulling out of your parking lot.

My other favorite is for the standard, "you again? we should just get you an office here" to which I always replied with:"OK sounds good but I require a window and I don't work cheap, where's HR so I can start filling out the paperwork?"

[atwageman]

Re: Snappy comebacks

I haven't seen you before. Are you new?

Yes. This job is part of my work release program.

What did you do?

Check washing.

That response always goes over well in banks.

[gwaddle]

Re: Snappy comebacks

My other favorite is for the standard, "you again? we should just get you an office here" to which I always replied with:"OK sounds good but I require a window and I don't work cheap, where's HR so I can start filling out the paperwork?"

I don't even respond to that one anymore. It quit being funny about 10 years ago.

[Zackuth]

Re: Snappy comebacks

My other favorite is for the standard, "you again? we should just get you an office here" to which I always replied with:"OK sounds good but I require a window and I don't work cheap, where's HR so I can start filling out the paperwork?"

I got the "We should put you on the payroll" remark today. I said "Great!! I don't mind getting paid twice for the same job!!"

[Shadow1]

Re: Snappy comebacks

"How long is it going to last this time?"

"It's guaranteed to work until it breaks."

[kyrenecopy]

Re: Snappy comebacks

My other favorite is for the standard, "you again? we should just get you an office here" to which I always replied with:"OK sounds good but I require a window and I don't work cheap, where's HR so I can start filling out the paperwork?"

Me: "Ok, where is my office, my hammock and my paycheck?"

[fixthecopier]

Re: Snappy comebacks

Got to use this one this week. "Is the copier broke?

Me- "wow with your powers of deduction, I can't believe Military Intelligence hasn't snapped you up"

[kingarthur]

Re: Snappy comebacks

A common question i get as i'm leaving a job

"is it working...can i use it?"

my reply

"yes it's working...whether you're capable of using it is another matter"