MORONS
You got to love it ! I like how someone will ask you a question & when you answer it they don't like your answer;so they immediately ask the same question expecting a different answer! Example: Q:when will that machine be ready A: next week we need to order the parts! Q: so it won't be ready tommorow? A: are you f#@kin retarded it's the same question just rephrased !!!!
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Re: MORONS
You arrive at the customers office. They escort you to the machine. As you approach the machine, they ask "whats wrong with it". My standard responce is : "not quite sure just yet. Will let you know once i evaluate the machine." What I would like to say is " You called me and you don't know whats wrong with it"? I may be good at what I do, but not that good.Comment
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Re: MORONS
Most people like this end up as a White House press correspondent....watching a press briefing they will ask the same question rephrased I don't know how many times....."In a cruel and evil world, being cynical can allow you to get some entertainment out of it."
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Re: MORONS
"How long until I can use the copier?" My standard response is "five minutes." When they come back in five minutes I say "About five more minutes." Two or thee times if them doing that and they quit asking.Comment
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Re: MORONS
Is the copier broke? This is ask while I am sitting on the floor with half of it in my lap. I used to let it go with a dirty look, now I go for blood. Last week I used my new standard response "Dude , I cannot believe you ask that. You better watch out, when Military Intelligence finds out about you, they are going to snatch you right up." I must confess, some of the foreign language instructors are rather attractive. When they ask how long, my answer is usually "If you want to wait, I will hurry up" Some of these beautiful ladies look at me and I instantly feel like a dirty old man.
In case you are wondering, the hottest ones are from Russia and South America. The Russians are cold as ice, the ladies from SA are very nice. All of the folks from the Middle East are also very friendly.The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: MORONS
Just today:
Enduser: I just changed all the toners, but the message didn't go away.
Me: What did the screen say?
Enduser: ... what?
Me: What did the screen say?
Enduser: ... something about yellow, cyan, something ...
Me: It said "Replace Yellow Drum, Replace Cyan Drum, Replace Magenta Drum, Replace Black Drum." Did you replace drums?
Enduser: No, just toner, and it didn't go away ... "
=^..^=If you'd like a serious answer to your request:
1) demonstrate that you've read the manual
2) demonstrate that you made some attempt to fix it.
3) if you're going to ask about jams include the jam code.
4) if you're going to ask about an error code include the error code.
5) You are the person onsite. Only you can make observations.
blackcat: Master Of The Obvious =^..^=Comment
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Re: MORONS
"My wife went to the grocery store and she usually operates this thing....can you help me?" LOL!! That one was great.
And Another:
C: "I received toner. Why did I receive toner?"
M: "Sir, because you ordered it."
C: "Yes, but I was going to come pick it up."
M: "Sir, I called you to come pick it up, but you didn't so I shipped it to you because you said your machine was down."
C: "but I didn't want to pay shipping, and I have an invoice right here in my hand."
M: "Sir, I sent it to you and waived the shipping charge as a courtesy since your machine was down."
C: "But I didn't want to pay shipping."
M: "Sir, your invoice does not show shipping charges, does it?"
C: "No"
M: "If you need anything further, please don't hesitate to call...thanks and have a great day
". (and you're welcome...lol)
Three days later he calls back and we do this again...because he forgot that he already called.Comment
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Re: MORONS
[QUOTE=glewisme;353190]You got to love it ! I like how someone will ask you a question & when you answer it they don't like your answer;so they immediately ask the same question expecting a different answer!
Unfortunately there are people on here who do the same thing, they will be told an answer, but if its not what they want to hear, or its too difficult for them to carry out, they'll keep asking until someone comes up with an answer that they like....but the first answer they were given is probably what they should have done...Tip for the day; Treat every problem as your dog would.....If you cant eat it or f*ck it....then p*ss on it & walk away...Comment
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Re: MORONS
hi all
the life and the world is much more colorfull
with morons in it, in a way it makes a welcome break
from our routine jobs,
ps GOD loves morons
thats why he made so many of them
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Re: MORONS
Just this week I was attending a call on a Oki all-in-one-POS (I know God hates me coz I have to look at these machines), It had a Fatal error. I'm sitting at the desk next to it trolling through the manual on my laptop, tool bag open etc. Woman walks up to machine, I see her out the corner of my eye, but ignore her. She stands staring at the machine for a good 10 seconds, then utters.... You're working on it? Yes, I answer.... So I can't use it?... No, I say without looking away from my screen.
It's a good thing evolution is a slow process, otherwise I would have developed lazer beam eyes over the years and used them to vaporise such beings......Comment
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"The Serenity Prayer" . . .
God grant me the serenity to accept stupid people , the courage to not waste my time and energy on them , and the wisdom to know that I cannot fix STUPID .Comment
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