What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[ptrflrs]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

On an attempted tele-fix I said open tray 1 and check the paper and the end user says "OK, which is tray1?" lol

[Exok]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Back in the day when I serviced Savin liquid toner machines:

Customer, "The machine uses too much toner!"

Me, "How much toner are you using?"

Customer, "We put in 8 bottles of toner just this morning"

I move the machine away from the wall.... eeeewwwwww
__________________________________________________ ____

I used to work on Savin Liquid toner V-35 style machines that would get gummed up with dried out toner in the toner tank gears. The gears would stop turning and the drive belt would make a horrible loud noise. The toner mixes with a clear dispersant fluid that we also use to clean the machines. I keep a squeeze bottle filled with the clear dispersant to service the machines. It was common for these tank gears to get stuck with dried toner and just wetting them with dispersant would fix it.

Customer, "Our machine is making a horrible loud noise. I really think it's possessed"

Me, "Possessed you say? I think I can handle that. (take out my dispersant bottle) It's a good thing I remembered to bring my holy water with me. (turns on machine with front door jumped, machine makes loud noise) BEGONE EVIL SPIRIT! (squirts dispersant on the tank gears, noise suddenly stops and machine runs quiet)"

Customer, "HOLY CRAP!!!!!"
__________________________________________________ _____

Heard this one from a fellow tech. He goes out to work on a machine with a fax option at a lawyer's office. Lawyer is too cheep to hire an office worker and has his 85 year old mother working in the office. She places a service call saying that the fax machine is not working. He goes out and tests the machine and its working fine. He gets called back 10 minutes later. The lady is very angry. He tests the fax again. Still working. He asks her to show him what is not working with the fax. She places her original in the scanner, dials the number, hits send, original is scanned. She takes the original, holds it up to his face and says, "SEE? ITS STILL HERE!". He was so mad, he went to the lawyer and told him to please not have his mother place service calls without checking the machine himself and explaining to her how a fax machine works.

[oldschool]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Liquid toner... now that takes me back. I worked on liquid Savins and Canons. You know how it is when you're just starting out.."Give all the old crappy copier service calls to the new guy" AKA me.

The Canon NP 30,50,60 (I think those are the model numbers) have a rubber nozzle in the back that engaged when the tank was slid in. If I remember correctly, it was used to pump fluid up to the cleaning section. I did a service call in a home office for copy quality. The nozzle was shot. When I pulled the tank out to clean it, the nozzle disintegrated (common problem with those models). I did my PM and I unplugged the copier and told her I'd be back. Those nozzles just happened to be on back order and I expected them in a couple of days. I told her do not use the copier until I replaced the part. I came back a couple of days later to find her carpet soaked with dispersant/toner. The copier was plugged in but powered off. She told my boss that the carpet wasn't like that until I arrived and we owed her a new carpet! After we pushed a little she let it slip. She said "This couldn't have been anything I did. I only made 1 copy yesterday."

BUSTED! lol New guy gets to keep his job.

[Akitu]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

... After we pushed a little she let it slip. She said "This couldn't have been anything I did. I only made 1 copy yesterday."

BUSTED! lol New guy gets to keep his job.

Those times you wish it was legal to punch stupid people for being ignorant.

[Tropix]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

customer ask me how to print white color on transparent paper on xerox dc252 xD

[HenryT2]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

These are not phrases I often hear in the same sentence

Originally Posted by Akitu

common sense... end-user ( EDIT ) or ... SALESPERSON

[Akitu]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I had thought my closing statement in that quote would imply that I was stating end-users lack common sense, along with approx 90% of the current population. I suppose I should have been more clear in my message.

Shall we start a petition to rename common sense to good sense? It's no longer common, but it's damn good to have.

[AlanHubb]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

With all these CLASSIC customer Questions like "Is it Broken?", "Can we still scan?", "Looks like major surgery."....
(which we all get pretty much Daily)

what are your best answers to these??

[Phrag]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

With all these CLASSIC customer Questions like "Is it Broken?", "Can we still scan?", "Looks like major surgery."....
(which we all get pretty much Daily)

what are your best answers to these??

Customer: "Is it broken?"
Me: "No, not really. But I can break it if you like. You might get a new machine if I do it right."

[HenryT2]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

With all these CLASSIC customer Questions like "Is it Broken?", "Can we still scan?", "Looks like major surgery."....
(which we all get pretty much Daily)

what are your best answers to these??

Customer : " Is it broken ? "
Tech : " Not completely ! Do you want to try again while I watch ? "

[Athlontini]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

"Looks like major surgery."

I'm going to start taking count for this one. Out loud.

Customer: "Looks like major surgery..."
Me: "Twelve."
Customer: "Pardon?"
Me: "Oh, that's just how many times I've heard those exact words this week. Twelve."

People are not witty!

[Exok]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I'm going to start taking count for this one. Out loud.

Customer: "Looks like major surgery..."
Me: "Twelve."
Customer: "Pardon?"
Me: "Oh, that's just how many times I've heard those exact words this week. Twelve."

People are not witty!

That reminded me of a machine I used to service many years ago in a very large company. This machine was located in a hallway right between the doors to the mens and womans restrooms. Every time I serviced this machine, 1 out of every 2 people who walked by would make some kind of comment. One day I had to perform a major tune up on the machine that took a few hours. After the first few comments I decided to keep a score sheet. Looked something like this:

Copier down again?/ You're here again? 12
That machine is piece of garbage: 3
Can I make a copy? 4
Why don't you just bring us a new one? 9
You're here so often you should havea cot, your own office, your own parking space, live here) 16
Just blow it up! 4
You should take it outside and roll it into traffic! 2

(and this is just for 1 machine in the space of about 3 hours)

[Athlontini]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

You should take it outside and roll it into traffic! 2

Oh god, this one.

You know, at least when someone says "looks like major surgery" I can respond with "nope, just an outpatient procedure" and get some yuks every time. If I have to hear the same one-liners over and over, I should at least be able to dish it back out.

[Hansoon]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Copier down again?/ You're here again? 12
That machine is piece of garbage: 3
Can I make a copy? 4
Why don't you just bring us a new one? 9
You're here so often you should havea cot, your own office, your own parking space, live here) 16
Just blow it up! 4
You should take it outside and roll it into traffic! 2

(and this is just for 1 machine in the space of about 3 hours)

So almost 50 people complaining about one machine within an hour. That cannot be a coincidence. What was the brand you said?



Hans

[Exok]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

It was a Savin 7500 (Ricoh FT6620, A019). To be honest, one of the "this machine is a piece of garbage" remarks may have been my own.