What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[Lagonda]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

We just had a customer email in to say that they found the Service Department unhelpful and rude. I thought "that can't be right, we're either unhelpful or rude, we wouldn't go out of our way to be both!"

[Phrag]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

We just had a customer email in to say that they found the Service Department unhelpful and rude. I thought "that can't be right, we're either unhelpful or rude, we wouldn't go out of our way to be both!"

I hate being the focus of something like that, so sometimes, if I'm in a foul mood, I spend a few minutes in the car out the front of the business taking deep breaths and putting my happy mask on.

[cordless12]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Well cordless12, I think you customer might CLUELESS.

Either way... It made me feel "USELESS"...!!!

[drwevil]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I once had a new fax customer who insisted that she could program her speed dials by faxing it a text document, and that it would automagically program itself. (Keep in mind that this was probably 20 years ago - NO fax machine had a network cable going to it back then.)

When I told her that was impossible, she said: "Well that's how we programmed our old one!"

Yeah, right...

Actually there was a Sharp machine FO80 and that was exactly how you programmed the speed dials and some service parameters..
It was a tick sheet sort of thing that you scanned ADF not exactly faxing yourself but I could see a customer explaining it that way...

[ZOOTECH]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Actually there was a Sharp machine FO80 and that was exactly how you programmed the speed dials and some service parameters..
It was a tick sheet sort of thing that you scanned ADF not exactly faxing yourself but I could see a customer explaining it that way...

That was a program called "FAST" - not something we advertised to our customers; handy, but a PITA.

[drwevil]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I had a customer complain to me while installing a brand new MP6000...

"Oh.. you always here fixing this thing its ALWAYS jamming....." then stormed off..

I said to the lady sitting next to the machine in a strangled voice and dropped to my knees... "but but its new...." at least she laughed.

One other years ago on a Sharp SF760 master machine. I walked in introduced myself and said I was here to do a PM on their copier and this silly young lady bales me up and yells at me the light keeps coming on every 8000 copies and to make sure it didn't come back on again.... it was the PM light she was complaining about.

I had one customer that gave me a bit of grief once and they had a Mita DC313Z that played tunes when ready. The tunes were driving them nuts they asked if I could turn it off. (You can) I said "No... but I can change it...." so every time I went I changed it to the next one.

They loved me :-)

[drwevil]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Oh this is a classic and it was said by a tech I was training..

We were working, doing a PM, on a Mita DC4055 showing this guy the ropes....
I nice young lady well presented and quite pretty, politely asked how much longer did we expect to be as she had some important copying to do.....

Before I could say anything the noob tech said "6 inches....."

Beats my standard reply of 2 hours I guess ;-)

[Setright]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I reckon the guy who thought "Replace Toner" on a Kyocera FS3750 meant to re-place the toner was the most stupid of them all.

He had literally taken the toner out and placed it back in the machine....and couldn't understand why the machine still told him to "Replace Toner" !!

[cordless12]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Actually there was a Sharp machine FO80 and that was exactly how you programmed the speed dials and some service parameters..
It was a tick sheet sort of thing that you scanned ADF not exactly faxing yourself but I could see a customer explaining it that way...

I remember that machine (Shudders) and yes, it used an OCR programing sheet.

[Copier Whisperer]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I have just spent the last 4 hours reading the whole of this thread from start to finish!! (Slow day today)

Over the last 20 years, I have come across pretty much all of the posted stupid questions and comments (Oh, how I hate people walking past me when I'm elbow deep in toner, and saying "You should get an office here" or "Is it broken again"..... No you twat, someone in this very office HAS BROKEN THE COPIER AGAIN, THE DON'T BREAK THEMSELVES!!!)
Quiet possibly the most horrendous thing I have ever seen was on an old Canon 9800....... 5pm - Dec 20th 1997...... Get a call from a customer (HSBC in St. Albans UK, wasn't called HSBC at the time, but I digress) "Can an engineer come out, we have a problem with the copier"..... Why of course, nothing I would like more than to come out and look at your copier at home time...... I asked if it could wait until the morning, apparently not, its VERY urgent...... OK I said.

Get to the customer, and there is an ambulance outside, and a fire engine.....

Went to the reception, found out that a rather large bottomed lady had got drunk at the office christmas party, and decided to copy her ample ass on the copier..... the glass broke, her ass got wedged with large shards of glass sticking in from all directions. She couldnt be hoisted out as that was just causing her to get more glass in her ass, they couldnt take the glass out for obvious reasons.

I ended up having to strip the whole copier down around her, even parts of the frame, all covered in blood and a fat girl crying.

Copier was condemned, girl never came back to work apparently

So, let this be a lesson, dont get pissed and copy your ass, especially if youre over a certain weight

OK. I just snorfed my beer reading that!

[imagertech]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

had someone give out my office phone number out as her fax number, when I asked her why she said it right there on the sticker "for service call"

[mbcruzin]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

May not be dumbest thing customer ever asked but this has to be one of the dumbest thing I have ever seen a customer do Last week was working on copier in a state office Around corner I heard a noise and looked to see what was going on customer was trying to put two toner cartridges into an Imagistics copier not sure of model but similar to Sharp ARM350 She was trying to install one of them where developer unit was suppose to be Since this was not my copier I ask my contact if someone should help this lady was informed to not say anything as this lady knew everything and no one could tell her anything

As I was leaving I hear this lady on phone with someone just ranting about how she had ordered toner and they had sent her wrong part Sad part since it is a state office my tax money will be spent for a new developer unit for that machine

Customer called " We sent the Wrong Toner" ARM350/450. I get there with one toner in hand. Open up the front door, and quickly notice the toner is still in the machine. However the DV box is missing. I asked where did she put the old "toner cart"? She pointed to a large trash bin next to a table ( Now for the best part ). Another employee was at the table removing staples from large stacks of papers......... Yep you guessed it......... throwing them in the trash bin. I rushed over to rescue the DV box. Only to discover the magroller is covered in pulled staples ( i almost cried ). I called my manager to see if we had one in the shop, but my luck had just ran out ( I did cry ). After spending almost two hours pulling staples out of that DV box. Then explaining too the customer what she had done. All she had to say was "Did you bring us the right toner this time"?

[mbcruzin]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

No. She is an elementary school teacher. Teachers seem to be some of the worst end users.

Teachers, lawyers and other highly educated people.

I find its nurses that are the worst offenders, those tender healing hand can smash the crap out of copier.
We're just about to give a medical imaging company a bill for two and a half g's for the damaged they did to the fuser and duplex path on a mid sized multi-function machine.

Strippers...... Do you know how hard it is to get all that DAMN glitter out of a machine?

[copier tech]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

The dumbest customers are the ones that constantly break their machine simply trying to remove a jam!

[mattchall]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I spent 2010 at Kandahar Airfield, Afghanistan, repairing equipment for the military. We had a couple of copiers come back from forward operating bases with bullet holes through them. I have always wondered whether they were Taliban bullets or if the clerk really hated the copier!