What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[fixthecopier]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I actually could hear the high pitched squeal on this one AR-M450N. It would go for a while then stop. I happened to have it off at the time investigating when the air conditioning came on. There was a bad bearing in the squirrel cage fan for the furnace.

I called the keyop in the room and asked her: "Is that the noise?"
She said: "Yes, that's it."
I said: "It can't be the copier."
She said: "The copier is the only thing in here."
"The copier is Off and unplugged." as I showed her the plug.
"But it must be the copier ... "
"How could it be? I think it's the heater fan. ... see it just stopped."
"oh ... "

It took four visits to catch it. =^..^=

Made me remember this one...http://www.copytechnet.com/forums/sh...e-an-idiot-now

[blackcat4866]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Great Thread, good stories here is one of mine

I had a customer who had an HP m4345 that wasn't picking up paper properly (13.01 error codes), paper was stopping just before it hit the cartridge. I tell her I'm coming out with new rollers and we'll have her up in no time.

I get there and she points to the machine and proudly states, "I removed a nasty looking jam for you." I look at it and she had ripped the fuser sleeve completely off the fuser with a pair of needle nose pliers! "I asked her why did you do that?" She said, "what do you mean its burnt paper jammed in the printer!" I then proceeded to tell her that was going to cost her $300 as that was not paper! lol

I actually could hear the high pitched squeal on this one AR-M450N. It would go for a while then stop. I happened to have it off at the time investigating when the air conditioning came on. There was a bad bearing in the squirrel cage fan for the furnace.

I called the keyop in the room and asked her: "Is that the noise?"
She said: "Yes, that's it."
I said: "It can't be the copier."
She said: "The copier is the only thing in here."
"The copier is Off and unplugged." as I showed her the plug.
"But it must be the copier ... "
"How could it be? I think it's the heater fan. ... see it just stopped."
"oh ... "

It took four visits to catch it. =^..^=

[Lagonda]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Got a good one.

Get to customers office and she asked if I can hear the squealing noise coming from the machine.
I ran some copies out of each drawer and said I don't hear a thing.
She called a male staff member in and asked him if he could hear a noise.
He couldn't hear a thing.
Brought a woman in and she said she heard it.
This happened with 3 men and 3 women.
The women could hear it and the men couldn't.

Yep, had one of those as well, none of the techs could hear it, even the youngest one in his early twentys (does listed to doof doof music though) I got sent to sort it out even though my hearing is shot. Had to get one of the office girls to sit next to me while unplugged all the fans one by one until she told me the noise had stopped. Even with my ear up against the fan I couldn't hear anything, must have been a very high frequency squeal. Did get thanked by all the women in the office for getting rid of the noise that was setting their teeth on edge.

[austonrush]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Great Thread, good stories here is one of mine

I had a customer who had an HP m4345 that wasn't picking up paper properly (13.01 error codes), paper was stopping just before it hit the cartridge. I tell her I'm coming out with new rollers and we'll have her up in no time.

I get there and she points to the machine and proudly states, "I removed a nasty looking jam for you." I look at it and she had ripped the fuser sleeve completely off the fuser with a pair of needle nose pliers! "I asked her why did you do that?" She said, "what do you mean its burnt paper jammed in the printer!" I then proceeded to tell her that was going to cost her $300 as that was not paper! lol

[Debs1964]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Got a good one.
Got a call for a noise coming out of a Ricoh 3045.
Get to customers office and she asked if I can hear the squealing noise coming from the machine.
I ran some copies out of each drawer and said I don't hear a thing.
She called a male staff member in and asked him if he could hear a noise.
He couldn't hear a thing.
Brought a woman in and she said she heard it.
This happened with 3 men and 3 women.
The women could hear it and the men couldn't.

Never heard of this before and told her the only female tech I know is in England. (Debs)
I am sure she would like a free trip to the states to find the noise.

Unfortunately I hate noise faults, often I can't hear what the customer is complaining about either, but if you're offering me a free trip to the states

[nmfaxman]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Got a good one.
Got a call for a noise coming out of a Ricoh 3045.
Get to customers office and she asked if I can hear the squealing noise coming from the machine.
I ran some copies out of each drawer and said I don't hear a thing.
She called a male staff member in and asked him if he could hear a noise.
He couldn't hear a thing.
Brought a woman in and she said she heard it.
This happened with 3 men and 3 women.
The women could hear it and the men couldn't.

Never heard of this before and told her the only female tech I know is in England. (Debs)
I am sure she would like a free trip to the states to find the noise.

[doug]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I once had a customer ask if we had a copier that used less paper.

Had a customer say they added paper and its still printing light!!!

[charm5496]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

My favorite when I was working on an older Canon CLC at Kinko's back in the day and the gal behind the counter walks up to me and asks...."do any of your copiers copy in Japanese? I have a client that wants these originals copied, but they are in Japanese and I don't know what to do"

I assured her that the machines we sold them were special and could handle copying the Japanese language without any problems

Dumb Question #1

Can I Duplex on Transparency?

[RRodgers]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

I guess that changes from manufacturer to manufacturer. All I've seen on my Sharps and Ricohs is a blacked out image, no shutdown or anything. I'm not sure if Canon does, but to my knowledge it's similar with them in that it only blacks out the copies.

What brand shuts down and codes out?

The one's that I've seen do it will print it out but change it in some way. I've seen one that put a "copy" watermark all over the background of the page, and another I saw put a rainbow effect on the bill. I just tell my customers DON'T EVER do it. You'll lock the machine up and there is NOTHING I can do about it, and YOU WILL have to explain to the secret service why you were doing it.

[douglasdouglasv]

Postcards

I had a customer call and tell the adf would not run postcards. I answered yes that is correct. She then asked how she could make copies. I answered just place it on tge glass. She said " what glass"?

[HDSB]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Working on a helpdesk I have some good stories to tell..

Yesterday a new customer calls and tells me her brand new Bizhub 554e wont scan double sided. Asked her what was happening, "i select double sided and the page only goes through once, we have another machine and it goes through twice" Ok i thought, so i went to our showroom to confirm exactly how to do a double sided scan on a 554e.

Called her back and she says "im so sorry, i never even checked the scan, it is doubled sided!"

Found out it comes with a single pass feeder as standard.

If i could have put my hand down the phone...

[emujo]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Had a customer today complain of black copies.
I went out and reset the machine and out came fine copies.
I wasn't 2 blocks away and she called saying it was doing it again.
I walked in the door and you would think I killed her dog or something.
I made some copies and they were fine.
She breaks out a couple of 20's and put them on the glass.
I said, "I am sorry, you can't copy money on a machine with a color scanner."
She yells at me "I don't see why not, on my old machine I could."
I lifted the DF and showed her the sticker next to the glass that states not to copy money.

She told me she wasn't counterfeiting money, just copying it.

I told her that the machine thinks she is, just try folding it in half and you should be ok.
But I need the serial # of the bills.
I threw up my hands and asked to see her boss or should I just call the Dept of the Treasury.

Problem solved.

The KM products have gotten worse, not just money, but any type of financial documents, stocks/bonds, even birth/death certificates have issues. And it's not just printing, scanning is affected. When you try to print something that the mfp detects as prohibited, it can lay down a security pattern, but when you try to scan the same document the MFP can't add anything to prevent you from just printing it at your desktop printer so it won't even allow the scan. Causing some major headaches from a lot of customers who are just trying to do there jobs. Emujo

[blackcat4866]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Just today I took a call in which the enduser claims that when faxing a 3 page document, it worked the first time but the second time the machine instead makes 445 prints, and never even tries to fax it. I print off the Tx report and find the specific transaction. The phone number ends in ...-6445. I'm pretty sure what happened, but spend some time cleaning to compose my face.

"So is it possible that it was not in the Fax screen, but maybe in the Copy screen? The phone number does end in 6445 ... another name for a print of a scan is copy."
The other gentleman present teased our enduser mercilessly. To give myself a little credit, I did not join in, thinking only of how I felt when I ate that spoiled lunchmeat last week, and keeping a properly sober look upon my face. =^..^=

[Venom]

Re: What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

Had a school call a few weeks ago for jamming in the document feeder so I found a ripped corner piece of paper with staple in it stuck inside so I cleaned out and tested 200 originals, all good so I leave.
An hour later get a call, document feeder still not fixed so I went back and ran hundreds through it and could not get it to jam so I asked the secretary to show me exactly what she was copying.
She comes over and places 5 sheets in the document feeder that is stapled in the corner, I said "wait, you need to remove the staple", she says "no, I've always runs stapled paper through the feeder and has always worked for 4 years" so she tried it and jam, pulled it out and tried again and jam, then says "see, it won't work", I said you must remove staple, she says "I have no control over how the originals come to me, stapled or not"...so she reluctantly does remove staple and retries it and voila it works. How do you reason with such stupidity?