What's your most irritating Customer question and how do you want to answer it?

[KopyKat]

My list when in the middle of repair...parts out of the machine:

1. "Are you here to fix the copier?"

a. "No, I just came by for the coffee and donuts."
b. "Yes. You wouldn't happen to have a screwdriver would you?"
c. "No I'm here to deliver a strip-o-gram."

2. "Is that thing broken again?"

a. "Not yet...give me a few more minutes and it will be."
b. "Yes and that foot print on the cover seems to match your shoes."
c. "Yeah and this one is really gonna cost you."

3. "How long have you been fixing copiers?" (I use "a" a lot)

a. "Ummm...What time is it?"
b. "Longer than you have been breaking them."

4. "Can I just get one copy?"

a. "F**k Off!"
b. "Give it a shot, if you get a copy out, I'm outta here."

5. "Do you know what you're doing?"

a. "I'm not sure. Can you give me a hand?"
b. "Do you?"

6."How did you get into this line of work?"

a. "I slept with the Service Manager."

I've actually used almost all of them...#4-a under my breath only.

Need more Happy Pills. And yes, I can be quite sarcastic...but for some reason my customers still like me. Shows the intelligence level there, doesn't it?

[FRIDGEMAGNET]

If you are anything near as scary as the real nurse Ratched I would keep my comments to myself, get you a coffee and let you repair the thing!

[KopyKat]

If you are anything near as scary as the real nurse Ratched I would keep my comments to myself, get you a coffee and let you repair the thing!

LOL!! I can be at times.

[mascan42]

"We ought to get you a desk here" . . . never get tired of that one. Especially when it's been 2 months since the last service call.

[prntrfxr]

What's your most irritating Customer question and how do you want to answer it?

How about, "What did you break this time?"

Feel like saying:

You're the idiot who broke it, I must be an idiot to come out every week and fix it.

Then I think of the bill I'm going to give him and I feel a lot better. My boss knows how much I hate this one. He tried it on me Friday when I was doing a bit of maintenance on the company 4345mfp. I managed to just roll my eyes at him.

How about, "I had a jam and it was wrapped around the roller at the bottom. I had to use a screwdriver to clear it, but now it jams all the time. Can you fix it? (small fax machine)

I said:

Well fixing it yourself is going to cost you extra, bozo. You tore up the roller at the bottom, bent the frame and managed to break a mirror with your screwdriver. Its no longer economical to repair so go out and get yourself a new one.

He replied, "But its a brand new fax..."

I replied:

Well maybe you'll learn to leave the repairs to a professional. I have no problem with you trying to fix it themselves, but remember, there are consequences of bad decisions. If you screw it up it will cost you more than the money you tried to save and you'll have no one else to blame, but hey its your machine. Do what you want.

[schooltech]

This is the same conversation I have with the same person for over two years.

But I digress just a little bit.

This is the only person I've heard that has ever used the word "plug" when referring to the machine jamming.



Probably my most irritating comment/question : Are you here again, you were just here and it's broke again?

What I'd like to say: Are you here again, you were so annoying last time and you're still annoying now.

What I usually say: A lot of people use the machine and things happen.

[vincent64]

My favorite is when they want you to call them first, to tell them whats wrong with the machine, or they want to know can I fix it over the phone.
Often times I want to say can a surgen operate over the phone, but I bite my tounge and say no Mr or Ms cust, I have to see the machine.

[mikadonovan]

My favorite has to be when I have a machine gutted with the subassemblies lying all around me and someone walks up and asks "can I make a copy?"
I normally just say "you have got to be kidding" although in my mind I want to say "why sure you can. All these parts you see surrounding me have nothing to do with machine operation, they are just extra parts they thrown in to make the machine look good. By the way, what's the stupidest question you have ever asked somone?"

[fixthecopier]

Sarcasm? Why I would never think of being sarcastic to a customer.

Q... Can we have a new one?
A... Putting a new copier here will not make the people using it any smarter than they already are.

Q... Is it broke?
A... No, they are mailing you a new copier one piece at a time and I come by and install them as they arrive.

Q...This thing is a piece of crap!
A... A copier is truly a reflection of the environment it is in.

Q...When I was in [ insert name of other place here]. our repairman used to [insert list of amazing things other repairman used to do].
A...You should have married him and brought him with you, cause now all you have is me, and I am an asshole.

Q...I am tired of calling your shop out here.
A...There are other people in the office, you should let one of them call next time.

Q...Are you the repairman?
A...No, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Q...Are you the copy guy?
A...No I am the telephone guy, I am just a really bad one, please help and point to the telephone.

Q...How did you get into this line of work?
A...I lost a bet.

Q...How did you get into this line of work?
A... I had no choice, my dog ate my medical degree.

Phone rings at night...Sir this is the Military Police Battalion. That nice copier you got for us has a message on the screen that says "Please add toner. Is that something we can take care of ourselves?"
A...NO, you must unplug the machine and wait til morning for me, or bad things will happen.


I promise I have used each and every one of them. Remember what John Wayne said..."Life is tough, but it's a lot tougher if you are stupid"

[Guest]

Q...When I was in [ insert name of other place here]. our repairman used to [insert list of amazing things other repairman used to do].
A...You should have married him and brought him with you, cause now all you have is me, and I am an asshole.

Perfect response...

[blackcat4866]

I like that one myself.

My favorite has to be when I have a machine gutted with the subassemblies lying all around me and someone walks up and asks "can I make a copy?"

My pat answer for this one is "I'd like to see that! Go ahead, if you think you can."

[Guest]

Or how about this one...

Q: (well, more of a statement, but irritating nonetheless)
"We ought to get you your own office and a coffee cup with your name on it since you're here so often." (Then he laughs loudly at his own feeble attempt at humor, believing himself to be clever).

A: (wouldn't do it of course, but the thought is comforting for some reason)
Set him on fire and giggle like a little girl as he pours hot coffee on himself to douse the flames.

[KopyKat]

Or how about this one...

Q: (well, more of a statement, but irritating nonetheless)
"We ought to get you your own office and a coffee cup with your name on it since you're here so often." (Then he laughs loudly at his own feeble attempt at humor, believing himself to be clever).

A: (wouldn't do it of course, but the thought is comforting for some reason)
Set him on fire and giggle like a little girl as he pours hot coffee on himself to douse the flames.

When they say that to me, I respond with "When is payday?" "When is the Company Picnic?" "Which office is mine and who will be my administrative assistant?"

[KopyKat]

My favorite is when they want you to call them first, to tell them whats wrong with the machine, or they want to know can I fix it over the phone.
Often times I want to say can a surgen operate over the phone, but I bite my tounge and say no Mr or Ms cust, I have to see the machine.

How about when they hold the phone up to the machine so you can hear the noise.

[KenB]

A more serious problem...

What's your company policy on abusive customers that use very abrasive language, including a number of "F" bombs?

I walked into a firestorm last Friday and had this very thing happen. The customer had every right to be irritated. His old machine had already been picked up, delivery was 3 days late, and the wireless card we ordered added another 2 days, as it was also delayed. He said that this put him a week behind in production, and we were costing him money.

Regardless of reason, there was no reason to be torn into (this was the company owner in a small business) without him knowing me from Adam.

My understanding is that it's our option to leave when this happens. I didn't, and never have, but that was the closet I ever came.

Just wondering how many of us have been put in the same position.