Jokes

[mabawser]

tramps

A pub landlord is shutting up for the night when there is a knock on the door. When he answers, a tramp asks him for a toothpick. He gives him a tooth pick and the tramp goes off.

A few minutes later there is a second knock on the door, there is a second tramp who also asks for a toothpick. He gets his tooth pick and off he goes.

There is a third knock on the door and a third tramp is there. The landlord says "Don't tell me, you want a toothpick too?".

No a straw, says the tramp.

The landlord gives him a straw but is curious as to why he wants it, so he asks the tramp why a straw and not a toothpick?

the tramp replies "someones just been sick outside but all the good stuffs gone already!"

[KenB]

Major Idiot

Hey,did you hear about the total dork who spent a whole $800 on a Canon toy, thinks he knows everything about everything, and starts multiple meaningless threads on topics he knows nothing about?

I think we all have by now.

[mrwho]

Why did aab1 cross the road?

Because there was an inkjet on the other side!

[Stirton.M]

aab1 dies and goes straight to hell for having lived a sinful life, and upon his arrival Satan asks him, "Do you like injets?"

"Absolutely," says aab1.

"Well, you'll love Thursdays then," says Satan. "All we do is with print with inkjets - anything you want. And you're dead, so there's no paper limit."

"Sweet!" says aab1.

"Do you like to refill toner cartridges? asks Satan. "Because it's same deal on Friday - all the toner cartridges you can possibly fill without any side effects."

"Awesome!" says aab1. "There has to be some catch to all of this?"

"Not at all," says Satan. "You're gay, right?"

"No," says aab1.

"Not even a little bit gay?" Satan asks.

"Not at all," says aab1.

"Oh, well, then Saturdays are going to be a little rough!"

[banginbishop]

Re: Jokes

Man goes to the Dr's & says "I've been shagging the wife for 10yrs now & she is getting a bit loose, can you suggest anything to tighten her up a little bit?" Dr says "Well, this is a bit of a taboo subject, but have you tried using the other hole?" he says "WHAAT!!?? and end up with a house full of kids!!"

paddy says "mick i'm thinking of buying a labrador."
"feck that" says mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind"



Man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how "do you know?" He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!"



I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg"


I've just had a letter back from Screwfix. They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency...

all credit goes to a bikers website in the uk

[Akitu]

Re: Jokes

Man goes to the Dr's & says "I've been shagging the wife for 10yrs now & she is getting a bit loose, can you suggest anything to tighten her up a little bit?" Dr says "Well, this is a bit of a taboo subject, but have you tried using the other hole?" he says "WHAAT!!?? and end up with a house full of kids!!"

paddy says "mick i'm thinking of buying a labrador."
"feck that" says mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind"



Man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how "do you know?" He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!"



I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg"


I've just had a letter back from Screwfix. They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency...

all credit goes to a bikers website in the uk

I would suggest eHarmony, but I've been banned from there.

While filling out the questionnaire, question 14 "What do you like most in a woman?", I had responded with "My D***", apparently that wasn't an acceptable answer.

[Wild Bill]

Re: Jokes

What Micheal Jackson Song will they play at Rodney King's Funeral.

Beat It!!!!!!!!!!

[banginbishop]

Re: Jokes

found on facebook