Joke of the Day

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, "I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week."
The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, "I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week."
The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Then a congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week."
The congressman was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

I can't help but feel ripped off after seeing many jokes I know I put up reposted. I suppose it can't be helped at this point now though, this thread is a miracle in the works.

Q- How can you tell the blind guy at a nudist colony? A- It's not hard.
Q- Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? A- The one carrying a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Q- Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? A- The one who can eat the last donut.

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Joke of the Day

I can't help but feel ripped off after seeing many jokes I know I put up reposted. I suppose it can't be helped at this point now though, this thread is a miracle in the works.

Q- How can you tell the blind guy at a nudist colony? A- It's not hard.
Q- Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? A- The one carrying a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Q- Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? A- The one who can eat the last donut.

I've felt the same pain, but I guess if you haven't been following from the beginning, there are bound to be repeats.

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

I've felt the same pain, but I guess if you haven't been following from the beginning, there are bound to be repeats.

If I am reposting your jokes, sorry. Considering the amount of jokes posted here, other sites I look at, comedy stations on the radio I listen to and comedians on you tube I watch, it is a bit much to remember where they all come from. In other words, there is no fucking way I am going to read through all the pages on this thread to make sure someone else hasn't done it first. You guys have a much better memory than I do. I had a lot of fun in the 70's and the 80's and maybe the 90's and possibly still in the new millennia. Memory not what it used to be. That being said, here is where I copy and paste my stuff from...Jokes: Get Your Funny On!

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

A proctologist named Bill decides he is tired of practicing medicine and quits his job to pursue his dream of being a car mechanic. He enrolls in a trade school and after some time the final exam is given. The test solely consists of disassembling and reassembling a car engine. The teacher tells the students, "You have as long as you need to complete the exam, so take your time and work at your own pace." Twenty-eight hours after the exam began, Bill completes the reassembly of the engine and returns home.

The next day the teacher calls Bill up to give him the results of his test. Bill is absolutely floored to find that he received a 150 on the exam.
"How could I get a 150 on the exam if the test only had 100 points?!" Bill asked.
"Well, I gave you 50 points for a flawless dis-assembly of the engine," replied the teacher. "And another 50 points for reassembling the engine perfectly."

"I'm extremely pleased with the results!" Bill exclaimed. "But where did the last 50 points come from?"
The teacher paused for a moment and responded, "Well, I gave you the extra 50 points for doing the whole exam through the tailpipe."

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Joke of the Day

If I am reposting your jokes, sorry. Considering the amount of jokes posted here, other sites I look at, comedy stations on the radio I listen to and comedians on you tube I watch, it is a bit much to remember where they all come from. In other words, there is no fucking way I am going to read through all the pages on this thread to make sure someone else hasn't done it first. You guys have a much better memory than I do. I had a lot of fun in the 70's and the 80's and maybe the 90's and possibly still in the new millennia. Memory not what it used to be. That being said, here is where I copy and paste my stuff from...Jokes: Get Your Funny On!

Jerry, there's no worry; the repeats just remind me of the good ones.

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

If I am reposting your jokes, sorry. Considering the amount of jokes posted here, other sites I look at, comedy stations on the radio I listen to and comedians on you tube I watch, it is a bit much to remember where they all come from. In other words, there is no fucking way I am going to read through all the pages on this thread to make sure someone else hasn't done it first. You guys have a much better memory than I do. I had a lot of fun in the 70's and the 80's and maybe the 90's and possibly still in the new millennia. Memory not what it used to be. That being said, here is where I copy and paste my stuff from...Jokes: Get Your Funny On!

Are you sure "Get your Funny On" are not copying jokes off copytechnet "Joke of the day" ?...

The repeats tend to damper the original joke down a tad, but I still manage to smile or laugh at them. It just proves we're human either or...

Post onward.....

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

Jerry, there's no worry; the repeats just remind me of the good ones.

I was not offended. I really just can't remember. Some of these jokes have been around longer than some of the techs on this site.

Sometimes ..."it's like deja vu all over again" [Yogi Berra - 1950's or 60's]

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

Are you sure "Get your Funny On" are not copying jokes off copytechnet "Joke of the day" ?...

The repeats tend to damper the original joke down a tad, but I still manage to smile or laugh at them. It just proves we're human either or...

Post onward.....

Careful going to reddit. Some people lose hours of their life there. I know I do.

[emujo]

Re: Joke of the Day

Nothing new under the sun...Keep em coming!!! Emujo

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

A man goes to his doctor to ask about penis enlargement..."Doc," said he, "I'm tiny. I can't satisfy my wife, and I'm ridiculed in changing rooms. I've tried every drug and herbal supplement, to no avail. I want to look into surgery."
"Well," said the doctor, peering at the man's twig-like member through a magnifying glass, "You're in luck. there's a new experimental procedure we're offering to a lucky few. It involves grafting the muscles from an elephant's trunk onto the shaft of your penis. This will not only increase the size, but it will also give an added boost to your ol' fella's strength and dexterity."
"That's fantastic!" exclaimed the man, "I'll do it!"
A few weeks after the procedure, the man returned home from the hospital. As he and his family sat down to dinner, his wife and kids asked him how it went. Before the man could answer, his enormous penis sprang from his trousers, reached across the table, grasped a dinner roll and retracted itself from view.
Aghast, but delighted, his wife exclaimed, "MY GAWD! That's the most incredible thing I've ever seen! Can you make it do that again?!"
The man replied, with a uncomfortable expression on his face,
"Probably, but I don't think I can fit another bun up my ass."

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[QUOTE=Akitu;449798]I can't help but feel ripped off after seeing many jokes I know I put up reposted. I suppose it can't be helped at this point now though, this thread is a miracle in the works.

I've felt the same pain, but I guess if you haven't been following from the beginning, there are bound to be repeats.

If I am reposting your jokes, sorry. Considering the amount of jokes posted here, other sites I look at, comedy stations on the radio I listen to and comedians on you tube I watch, it is a bit much to remember where they all come from. In other words, there is no fucking way I am going to read through all the pages on this thread to make sure someone else hasn't done it first. You guys have a much better memory than I do. I had a lot of fun in the 70's and the 80's and maybe the 90's and possibly still in the new millennia. Memory not what it used to be. That being said, here is where I copy and paste my stuff from...Jokes: Get Your Funny On!

Jerry, there's no worry; the repeats just remind me of the good ones.

Are you sure "Get your Funny On" are not copying jokes off copytechnet "Joke of the day" ?...

The repeats tend to damper the original joke down a tad, but I still manage to smile or laugh at them. It just proves we're human either or...

Post onward.....

I was not offended. I really just can't remember. Some of these jokes have been around longer than some of the techs on this site.

Sometimes ..."it's like deja vu all over again" [Yogi Berra - 1950's or 60's]

Careful going to reddit. Some people lose hours of their life there. I know I do.

Nothing new under the sun...Keep em coming!!! Emujo

Lately I noticed that a number of the jokes I see here have either been on Facebook Group "Jokes & Funnys" either a day or 2 before or after I read them here. I think now that both posters on each site are getting them from "Get your Funny On".

[habik]

Re: Joke of the Day

Well maybe you have to invent some new jokes.

Copier had a bypass surgery, the damage to the leaking drum was so bad that the surgeon ended up with lot of paper cuts until he managed to get the bypass working. After a week of rehab feeding the poor copier with recycled paper and non OEM toner, the dev started vomiting rather big chunks of toner as Dr's blade suffered from massive dev reflux. The surgeon had no option but the operate again. Run couple of scans through they all came negative. Luckily new drum donor appeared in database from nearby workshop. Operation went flawlessly and new drum just needed priming up. Resuscitating dials were set and after few second new drum got coated with lovely layer of photons and dark particles. Dev spat out last bit of polystyrene ball made the drum to mishap and squeak for last time.


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[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

Well maybe you have to invent some new jokes.

Copier had a bypass surgery, the damage to the leaking drum was so bad that the surgeon ended up with lot of paper cuts until he managed to get the bypass working. After a week of rehab feeding the poor copier with recycled paper and non OEM toner, the dev started vomiting rather big chunks of toner as Dr's blade suffered from massive dev reflux. The surgeon had no option but the operate again. Run couple of scans through they all came negative. Luckily new drum donor appeared in database from nearby workshop. Operation went flawlessly and new drum just needed priming up. Resuscitating dials were set and after few second new drum got coated with lovely layer of photons and dark particles. Dev spat out last bit of polystyrene ball made the drum to mishap and squeak for last time.


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There is nothing funny about a seriously broken copier...unless it has your competitor's sticker on it.

[habik]

Re: Joke of the Day

Fixthecopier is on a service call to their favourite client but is friday afternoon and is desperate to get home and have a nice chilling evening. Walks to a office where they have identical machine as competitor just sitting next to theirs. Exactly the same. The model, the color, the options the lot. Fixthecopier machine display is black and tongue in form of A3 is hanging out of tray. With a grin on face Fixthecopier quickly removes company stickers and swapped them around. Does a quick copy, scan, and prints stapled document their "new" copier. Quickly starts filling the service book and docket when competitor Technician walks in for a regular inspection.


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