What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

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  • rthonpm
    Field Supervisor

    2,500+ Posts
    • Aug 2007
    • 2849

    #31
    Isn't that what the Java option is for???

    Comment

    • cyclops

      #32
      Dumbest question and the perfect answer

      A friend was working for an airplane manufacturer. He walks by while I do a PM and asks " When is someone going to make copiers that don't breakdown all of the time? ".

      My reply, " I think that one is on the list right after airplanes that don't fall out of the sky! ".

      He went back to his work without saying another thing.

      Comment

      • Cipher
        It's not easy being green

        1,000+ Posts
        • May 2006
        • 1309

        #33
        Customer: "Oh not you AGAIN, this machine is always breaking down... can't you fix it?"

        Cipher: Er... last time I was here was about a month ago and the machine has done like 300k+ since then.

        • Knowledge not shared, is eventually knowledge that becomes lost... like tears in the rain.

        Fully qualified technician for Ricoh - Canon - Sharp - HP - Brother

        Comment

        • Jimbo1
          Senior Tech

          500+ Posts
          • Mar 2008
          • 845

          #34
          Originally posted by Cipher
          Customer: "Oh not you AGAIN, this machine is always breaking down... can't you fix it?"

          Cipher: Er... last time I was here was about a month ago and the machine has done like 300k+ since then.


          Of course they were sold the machine on the promise from the sales rep that it would N E V E R need servicing!

          "Some days you get the bear, some days the bear gets you."

          Cdr. William Riker

          Comment

          • blackcat4866
            Master Of The Obvious

            Site Contributor
            10,000+ Posts
            • Jul 2007
            • 22999

            #35
            That's a great ice-breaker that I use quite frequently.

            "Oh. It will never need servicing again." with a straight face. It's always worth a good laugh. =^..^=
            If you'd like a serious answer to your request:
            1) demonstrate that you've read the manual
            2) demonstrate that you made some attempt to fix it.
            3) if you're going to ask about jams include the jam code.
            4) if you're going to ask about an error code include the error code.
            5) You are the person onsite. Only you can make observations.

            blackcat: Master Of The Obvious =^..^=

            Comment

            • Shadow1
              Service Manager

              Site Contributor
              1,000+ Posts
              • Sep 2008
              • 1642

              #36
              When I have a customer ask in those kind of situations (especially if the customer asking is female) I tell them: "It's like my wife says... If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble."
              73 DE W5SSJ

              Comment

              • copymon
                Technician
                • Feb 2009
                • 39

                #37
                If you want to play a great joke on a customer get a rubber rat at the toy store. When you go to do a service call ask the customer to come over and tell them they have a rodent problem as you pull the rat out of the machine.

                Comment

                • fixthecopier
                  ALIEN OVERLORD

                  2,500+ Posts
                  • Apr 2008
                  • 4713

                  #38
                  I have been there for real. It teaches you to think out of the box to find out the void streaks are coming from parts of the mouse nest blocking the laser.
                  The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking

                  Comment

                  • Jimbo1
                    Senior Tech

                    500+ Posts
                    • Mar 2008
                    • 845

                    #39
                    Originally posted by blackcat4866
                    That's a great ice-breaker that I use quite frequently.

                    "Oh. It will never need servicing again." with a straight face. It's always worth a good laugh. =^..^=
                    Yeah I used to say something like that and maybe I should slip that back into my repertiore.

                    Lately I will be getting the ladies to sign the ticket and tell them that I know they will mwin American Idol this year so the autograph keeps me from having to come back after it.


                    "Some days you get the bear, some days the bear gets you."

                    Cdr. William Riker

                    Comment

                    • schooltech
                      School District Tech

                      500+ Posts
                      • Jun 2008
                      • 504

                      #40
                      I get stupid sayings all the time, because everyone knows me as a coworker, but what I will always remember is what a fellow tech told me years ago at a dealership:

                      paraphrasing...

                      "I kept going to a company each morning because they had weird residue on the glass. I'd clean it off, all is well, then the call would come in the next day. I couldn't figure out it. Some days were worse than others. Anyway, I told my service manager to head out with me because this on is truly stumping me. We went early in the morning before they opened, and began to observe the office staff. Suddenly, we realized what was going on.

                      One of the office staff was using the copier AS A DOUGHNUT WARMER!!!! She'd put the donuts on the glass (older analog machine) and would make copies of the doughnuts to heat them up. This worked better than putting them in the microwave, as they became soggy if she did that."


                      Needless to say, their manager wasn't happy and it was then taken care of on their end. This is one I'll never forget.
                      Bachelor of Science in Information Technology, Comptia A+, Comptia Network+

                      Comment

                      • minoltaed
                        • Jun 2025

                        #41
                        Had a tech go to a customer who was complaining that the copier was running to fast. So the tech took the power cord tied a knot in it and told the customer that it would slow down the electrons and we never heard her complain about again.

                        Comment

                        • schooltech
                          School District Tech

                          500+ Posts
                          • Jun 2008
                          • 504

                          #42



                          Perception is their own reality sometimes.

                          Since tying the power cord in a knot seems to slow the copier down (I love it) then what can we do to combat 'the copier has been running too hot' thing? Do we just install the A/C option? Man, I'm tired of hearing that.
                          Bachelor of Science in Information Technology, Comptia A+, Comptia Network+

                          Comment

                          • Shadow1
                            Service Manager

                            Site Contributor
                            1,000+ Posts
                            • Sep 2008
                            • 1642

                            #43
                            Originally posted by minoltaed
                            So the tech took the power cord tied a knot in it and told the customer that it would slow down the electrons and we never heard her complain about again.
                            What do we do for "It seems like it used to be a lot faster"
                            73 DE W5SSJ

                            Comment

                            • jpcopy
                              Trusted Tech

                              250+ Posts
                              • Apr 2006
                              • 256

                              #44
                              tell them time for a inshop rebuild and loan them a much slower machine

                              Comment

                              • seniortech
                                Trusted Tech

                                100+ Posts
                                • Dec 2007
                                • 180

                                #45
                                Had to go to a machine a few years ago because customer complained that if they wanted one copy they were getting 100's. after swapping keypads and control boards fault did not go away. Swapped machine with one from another floor as we were convinced by then it was a customer fault. The fault remained despite machine being changed but we could not replicate it when on site.

                                My manager asked me to sit with the machine all day to try and find out what was happening. After several hours a short lady very well endowed up top lifted the lid to do some copying and her 'chest' pressed on the keypad changing the copy count-problem sorted. It was fun explaining this to the customer...

                                Comment

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