What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[mrwho]

Just last week I had a customer call and say their copier isn't working. They press start and nothing happens. I looked at the dispaly and sure enough it says "load paper"

I don't know why the manufacturers even bother to put displays on the machines - they could just put a kid's drawing in there and, for the same price, get more profit.

Heck, I just had a great idea to propose to my boss - maybe monday I'll post a new thread here to sell a bunch of brand-new LCD screens!

[vincent64]

I have seen a couple cust. pull the DV unit out and dump it out, but never toss it out with the trash.
And they call us dumb in the south.
When they put the locking screw in the MX versions of the 355/455 that was the best idea ever.
Although we have one of them state contracts, lots of machines, lots of bags of hammers and rocks in that office.

[Koosie]

The other light

Customer had AF1015 for years. Upgraded to MP1600. (basically the same machine). Calls few days later, yelling over the phone and says its a new machine, how can it be broken? I asks whats wrong and she says the light is on, and the machine doesn't do anything! I asked her what light and she tells me it almost looks like the toner light, but instead of the dots, it has horisontal lines in it. I told her to refill the paper and she was happy. (not even embarrased)

[barratec]

A graphic customer asked me why he couldn't print with a color MFP a white writing on a blue sheet of paper put in the tray. I answered him which was the right percentage of yellow,cyan, magenta and black to obtain toner white!

[Dark Helmet]

I have seen a couple cust. pull the DV unit out and dump it out, but never toss it out with the trash.
And they call us dumb in the south.
When they put the locking screw in the MX versions of the 355/455 that was the best idea ever.
Although we have one of them state contracts, lots of machines, lots of bags of hammers and rocks in that office.

LoL, been there done that. Had a out of town customer with a ARM355 and they did the same thing. Called all pissed off they had no toner and demanded i deliver them one right now. Had to tell them i was just a contractor for that machine and it had to be ordered through supplies and they don't let me stock their toner. 2 days later they call back frantic as ever, the machine won't work, we replaced the toner. It keeps saying replace cartridge. I show up read the insert developer cartridge msg, open the door and the DV unit is gone.

"Oh yea.... Were is the DV unit? You recycled it you say and already shipped it off......? See you in 2 days"

4 months later during a PM i found it in a bag stuck behind behind crap on a table i was clearning off to make room for my PM just covered in developer

[Oztech]

Had a customer who had done some "research" on the internet and had read that if he sprayed a sheet of paper with WD40 and fed it through the copier that it would clean the copier!

[KenB]

Had a customer who had done some "research" on the internet and had read that if he sprayed a sheet of paper with WD40 and fed it through the copier that it would clean the copier!

Did you start calling him "Slick" after that?

[fixthecopier]

I am the shredder guy also. When I see one without an oiler or oil bottle near it, I ask how it is running. They say "Like crap". I explain how they must be oiled for every 15 min of use. They usually ask if they can use motor oil. That is why I make a lot of money working on shredders. Can you say"duh"?

[mo0651]

Had a customer load the Large capacity feeder VERTICALLY! Don't know who had the patience to that standing reams on their side.

[Shadow1]

I swear sometimes people do stuff like that just to mess with your mind

[mascan42]

I had somebody last week get a multi-feed jam on a Di750. Anybody who knows these machines knows you have to clear the paper from the side first, because the paper can be half in the vertical transport and half in the paper process unit. If you pull out the process unit first, you wind up with paper wedged in the corner of the entrance guide.

So of course, with a multifeed, and 5 sheets of paper half in and half out, the customer opens the process unit first. And it won't open, because there's a thick wad of paper caught between the two units. So what does he do? He pulls harder. And harder. And har- SNAP! There goes the process unit handle. And the screw that held it on - broken in half. Exactly how hard do you have to pull to break a stainless steel screw in half?

And the worse part - this is the second time they've done this in the past 2 years. So after drilling out the screw a second time, there's no way another screw will be able to go in there. So that handle will be held on with crazy glue until these people come to their senses and replace their 8 year old machine.

They asked what can be done to prevent this - I told them find whoever did it and take their copier privileges away. Nobody who pulls on a handle hard enough to break the screws in half has any business going near a copy machine.

[apache_cat]

Had a customer load the Large capacity feeder VERTICALLY! Don't know who had the patience to that standing reams on their side.

LOL. Like shadow says are they just screwing with out minds.

[mrwho]

This small thing I just recalled just illustrates quite well, to anyone new to this thread, the average copier operator - i.e. someone not qualified to do anything else:

We had this customer (public service) with an old Konica 4045 (anyone ever got the urge of carrying an hammer to some service calls?) and there was this lady whose sole job was to sit in the cubicle with the machine and take copies with it - on her free time she would read her pink magazines or stare at the walls.

Then, this one time, she was observing me while I was servicing the machine (exciting, isn't it? Beats counting the spiderwebs on the ceiling) when a screw escapes and hits the floor. Not missing a beat, I extend my arm and use the magnetized tip of the screwdriver to pick up the screw without any effort.

She opens her eyes as wide as you can imagine, as if Copperfield himself was levitating in front of her, and asked me in awe "How did you do that?"

"Erm... it's a magnet... you can pick up metal things with it...?", I explained, while sticking a screw to the screwdriver's tip and off again. "A mag...net, you say? Well, I never heard of that! Where can you get it?" "Try a hardware store." "Sure! I will! Thanks!"

I surely felt like Houdini back then!

[blackcat4866]

The magnet thing is great! LOL! That reminds me of a prank I pulled on a co-worker back when there was two of us in the service department, not just one. (It's harder to pull pranks on yourself.)

We used to pair up on the 55 cpm & faster PMs to speed them up. For some reason we always used my toolcase. Maybe because his toolcase looked more like a bucket, everything just tossed in every which way.

So I'd be working on something, and offhandedly say, "Hey, hand me that brass magnet. I dropped the damn drum ground screw again...". Wouldn't you know it, he'd start digging in the toolcase. Then nearly 10 minutes later he'd say, "What did you want?"

[FASTSTI]

Brand new unit network installed, every time at 5:30-6pm the machine looses connectivity. The customer claims we manufacture faulty equipment that we are horrible and the machine is a lemon. I show up after hours to verify the problem with him a good afternoon sir turns immediately into him ranting on and on about this is ridiculous etc.. We walk over to the unit he demonstrates how he can't scan to email, and tells me you see it's a lemon, I walk to the side of the machine network cable is on the floor disconnected I plug it in he scans and I said what lemon? The cleaners would unplug the ethernet cable and one of them would connect his laptop and stream music while cleaning but would sometimes forget to plug it back in.

I wish you all could've seen the facial expression now that is a kodak moment