What is the dumbist customer comment/question you've heard?

[Lotec]

Had a classic comment a few days ago.

I was changing all PCUs and all the developer and transferbelt AND the fusing belt and oil roller on a MPC4500. The copier was just an empty box with the front door open and the duplex/fuser door open..
I had parts all over the floor, on top of the copier and on the table next to the copier... Vacuum cleaner, tools, a lot of boxes with new parts and so on..
A customer goes up to the copier, removes a part from the fuser, closes the doors and inserts some pages in the ADF - and starts to press the dark touch display several times.
Hey dude... why isn't the copier working? I used it this morning. .

I don't know... do you think it has something to do with the fact that all the parts inside the copier is spread all over the room?
Open the front door of the copier.

It's empty..

Yes it is. The parts are on the floor here. It's just like a car with no motor in it.

OK... But why can I not make a copy? I don't need any color.

My answer was because it needs the parts to work... but I was tempted to say.. If I remove all your vital organs. Do you function? No you say..? Well do you think the copier work will all parts on the floor? How stupid can you be?

And he makes 2-3 times the money I do. Life is not fair

[Jules Winfield]

It's always better to look good than to be good. Always...

It still pisses you off though, doesn't it?

[ToshibaTech]

Never had this one before not really dumb or annoying just funny....

Customer: "Pretty soon you'll be working on that thing out in the parking lot."
Me: "Well at least the weather is nice today."

[slybot]

Had a classic comment a few days ago.

I was changing all PCUs and all the developer and transferbelt AND the fusing belt and oil roller on a MPC4500. The copier was just an empty box with the front door open and the duplex/fuser door open..
I had parts all over the floor, on top of the copier and on the table next to the copier... Vacuum cleaner, tools, a lot of boxes with new parts and so on..
A customer goes up to the copier, removes a part from the fuser, closes the doors and inserts some pages in the ADF - and starts to press the dark touch display several times.
Hey dude... why isn't the copier working? I used it this morning. .

I don't know... do you think it has something to do with the fact that all the parts inside the copier is spread all over the room?
Open the front door of the copier.

It's empty..

Yes it is. The parts are on the floor here. It's just like a car with no motor in it.

OK... But why can I not make a copy? I don't need any color.

My answer was because it needs the parts to work... but I was tempted to say.. If I remove all your vital organs. Do you function? No you say..? Well do you think the copier work will all parts on the floor? How stupid can you be?

And he makes 2-3 times the money I do. Life is not fair

no way! no way in hell can ANYBODY be that dumbfucked stupid and earn more cash than us techs do

[slybot]

no way! no way in hell can ANYBODY be that dumbfucked stupid and earn more cash than us techs do

let alone be able to breathe on their own

[slybot]

that actually should have been the other way 'round but you all get the gist

[fixthecopier]

How about "You mean there is more than one color toner in that printer?" "Yes, that is what makes it a color printer."

[slybot]

How about "You mean there is more than one color toner in that printer?" "Yes, that is what makes it a color printer."

yeah thats dumbarse right along with when your fixing an atm and moron customers try to put their card in, but not even close to the rampant stupidity of lotecs client

[Debs1964]

I've had a giggle reading through these, and some of them are sooooooo familiar.
My favourite was probably over 20 years ago in a local hospital. I got called in to this small desktop analogue Xerox machine (I think it was a 1012) for copy quality, there was no-one around and the copies were perfect. I gave it a service as I was there, but there was no difference in the CQ, I was just about to leave when the doctor who had placed the call came in and asked if I had seen the fault, I told him that I couldn't find a problem with it. He went to the machine and moved the copy darker/copy lighter sliding control all the way to the left, he told me that when it was in this position the copies were too light, then he moved it all the way to the right, and told me that when it was in this position they were too dark. I looked at him, moved the slider to the middle and asked him what it was like in this position, he looked up and said "Oh, they're all right when it's there"...our lives are in his hands!!!!!

[Voltage]

I had a customer wanting to print white on black paper. After a long fight with him, telling him that in can not be done, and him telling me what a piece of sh!t this machine is, i showed him the 4 toners and asked him "How do you mix white with these 4 colors?"

[aab1]

I had a customer wanting to print white on black paper. After a long fight with him, telling him that in can not be done, and him telling me what a piece of sh!t this machine is, i showed him the 4 toners and asked him "How do you mix white with these 4 colors?"

He could add a black background to what he's printing if he's willing to pay the toner cost.

[aab1]

I once had a customer ask if we had a copier that used less paper.

There is, it's called double sided printing, uses 50% less paper.

[Voltage]

He could add a black background to what he's printing if he's willing to pay the toner cost.

Gave him that option but he had special paper. He wanted to print wedding cards

[Oztech]

I had a customer wanting to print white on black paper. After a long fight with him, telling him that in can not be done, and him telling me what a piece of sh!t this machine is, i showed him the 4 toners and asked him "How do you mix white with these 4 colors?"

Some of the old analogue Minolta's (4230/5400) had interchangeable dev units, so you could copy black and another colour, one of them was white! We only ever sold a couple of them but they did look impressive on dark paper

[Ikon Princess]

Working on a HP desktop color printer today (printer only) I am changing the toner at the end of the call, I have boxes and packaging all over the place. Somebody comes up behind me and fidgets, I turn around and look at her then she says it, can I just make a quick copy? I reply no it is a printer and does not have a scanner. She breathes deep and just stares for a bit then eventually leaves.