Joke of the Day

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

In reference to what Debs said. I forgot to quote...




If a man is wise, when he matures he realizes that the person he wants to keep him company must have inner beauty and a good personality. A hot supermodel is worthless as a companion if you can't stand to listen to her talk. When you see how many relationships the beautiful people go through, you realize that looks are only skin deep and the longer you are with someone, the deeper you can see into them. If it's not pretty in there to you, it will not work out.


I saw a picture over a copier of a beautiful woman and the caption read..."Somewhere, Someone is tired of putting up with her shit!"

[habik]

Re: Joke of the Day

In reference to what Debs said. I forgot to quote...




If a man is wise, when he matures he realizes that the person he wants to keep him company must have inner beauty and a good personality. A hot supermodel is worthless as a companion if you can't stand to listen to her talk. When you see how many relationships the beautiful people go through, you realize that looks are only skin deep and the longer you are with someone, the deeper you can see into them. If it's not pretty in there to you, it will not work out.


I saw a picture over a copier of a beautiful woman and the caption read..."Somewhere, Someone is tired of putting up with her shit!"

We all are a chemical mixture. We all looking for Neutraliser. You find the wrong one and you either explode or get used to tranquilisers.


Sent from my iDon't believe in marketing device using Tapatalk

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

Crazy ex girlfriends are like a box of chocolate...
They'll kill your dog.

[Tricky]

Re: Joke of the Day

First woman on the Moon

"Houston, we have a problem."
What?
"Never mind"
What's the problem?
"Nothing"
Please tell us?
"You know what the problem is."

[Tricky]

Re: Joke of the Day

The last person to enter parliament with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes.

[Debs1964]

Re: Joke of the Day

First woman on the Moon

"Houston, we have a problem."
What?
"Never mind"
What's the problem?
"Nothing"
Please tell us?
"You know what the problem is."

That has sooooooo been me for the past 3 weeks LOL, but I think I've turned a corner today, I'm waving goodbye (for now anyway) to grumpy Debs

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

Q: How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? A: She fits into your wife's clothes.




Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing? A: a knife has a point.




Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild? A: A $100 bill.


Q: What do you call a girl with Pms and Esp? A: A bitch who thinks she knows everything.



Q: What's the difference between your bonus and your dick? You don't have to beg a woman to blow your bonus


Q: Why do women close their eyes during sex? A: They can't stand to see a man having a good time.

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

Crazy ex girlfriends are like a box of chocolate...
They'll kill your dog.

That'll teach you for given the neighbours dog a bone...
(I feel an AC/DC song coming on here)...

[Iowatech]

Re: Joke of the Day

It doesn't always roll downhill.

http://basicinstructions.net/basic-instructions/2014/11/6/how-to-explain-the-way-the-world-really-works.html

[theengel]

Re: Joke of the Day

First woman on the Moon

"Houston, we have a problem."
What?
"Never mind"
What's the problem?
"Nothing"
Please tell us?
"You know what the problem is."

Ha ha... I kept reading this, over and over, trying to 'get it.' Then I remembered the beginning of every argument I've ever had with my wife. But seriously, I read it like six times before I got it.

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

What do you call a fat psychic?

A four chin teller.

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. This new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business!
The new CEO walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, "How much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young fellow looked at him and replied, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?"
The CEO then handed the guy $1,200 in cash and screamed, "Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"
From across the room came a voice, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."

[fixthecopier]

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

One fly is sitting at the bar and his friend walks in shivering, covered in frost.
"What's happened to you?" he asks.
"I rode down in here in a big guy's mustache. He got on his motorcycle and just muscled through the storm." The second fly responded.
"Oh, well next time, what you should do is find a beautiful woman with a big bush, snuggle in there and you'll be fine the whole trip."
The next day the first fly is waiting at the bar and the second fly comes in shivering and covered in frost again.
"What happened, didn't you take my advice?" he asks.
"I did, I did," the second fly responds. "I went to sleep nestled down in the bush, and when I woke up I was back in the Biker's Mustache again"

[fixthecopier]