Joke of the Day

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

One day I accidentally overturned my golf buggy.
Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, Are you okay, what's your name?"
"Its Jack , and I'm Okay thanks," I replied.
"Jack , forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on," Elizabeth insisted.
She was very pretty, very sexy and persuasive... I was weak.
"Well okay," I finally agreed, and added, "but my wife won't like it."
After a restorative brandy, and some creative putting lessons, I thanked my host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset."
"Don't be silly! Elizabeth said with a smile, She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Under the cart!"

[emujo]

Re: Joke of the Day

Akitu strikes again....at least it's still funny. Emujo

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

Akitu strikes again....at least it's still funny. Emujo

Yes, but it hasn't been that many days since the last time he posted it.

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

I came in second in a Fidel Castro look alike contest. Close, but no cigar.

[Debs1964]

Re: Joke of the Day

Oh dear, this is too true, especially in my case

brain.jpg

[blsquires]

Re: Joke of the Day

so this bloke went in the gents .his arms were above his head and his hands were shaking.
he said to the bloke next to him at the urinal ,can you help me and get it out and aim it for me,of course said the bloke .when he had finished the bloke said can you shake it and put it away.
yes said the helpful bloke ,do you have parkinsons or something.no he said i am just drying my nail varnish

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

Yes, but it hasn't been that many days since the last time he posted it.

Sleep deprivation is a nightmare. I'd kill someone for a decent night's sleep right now so I could keep myself organized.

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

One day Jesus is helping St. Peter at the Gates to Heaven when an old man approaches.
"What have you done to enter Paradise?" Jesus asks.
"Me?" replies the old man, "not much, I am just a simple carpenter but my son makes me worthy."
"Your son?" asks Jesus
"Yes, my son. He was born under remarkable circumstances and underwent a miraculous transformation. He was loved by many and continues to be loved to this very day. His name will never be forgotten."
Jesus approaches the man and hugs him tightly, "Father!"
The old man hugs him back, "Pinocchio?"

[Debs1964]

Re: Joke of the Day

clown.jpg

[Akitu]

Re: Joke of the Day

I was visiting a local community center because I was interested in learning a new hobby.
On my way to the office, I passed a group of guys in a beat boxing class.
I walked in and decided to try and fit in with my beatboxing skills, "bootssskts bootsskts uhh uhh my name is Chris, Yall mutha fuckas aint ready for this. Wickawickabtssssss" I leaned back in the first chair I saw, confident I gained their respect.
One of the boys walks up to me and spat one back at me
"Th-Th-Th-This is a speech therapy class."

[gwaddle]

Re: Joke of the Day

[ATTACH=CONFIG]30001[/ATTACH]

Stealing.

[Debs1964]

Re: Joke of the Day

Stealing.

How do you think I got it

[Gar the pilot]

Re: Joke of the Day

Police in Radnor, Penn., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head & connecting it with wires to the copy machine. The message " He's Lying" was placed on the glass and the police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect was lying. Believing the " lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

How do you think I got it

Did you steal clown suite?????? ..... Now I'm confused....

(Sorry it's Friday, I'm in one of my cheeky moods).....

[Debs1964]

Re: Joke of the Day

Did you steal clown suite?????? ..... Now I'm confused....

(Sorry it's Friday, I'm in one of my cheeky moods).....

I'll be in a cheeky mood too in about 9 hours when I finish work, I have trouble removing my behind from the sofa and getting out of the house at the moment