Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
So I finally landed a job as a Wal-Mart greeter, and about two hours into my first day on the job a loud, mean, and unattractive woman enters the store with her two children, yelling obscenities at them the whole way.
Per my greeter instructions, I pleasantly said, "Good Morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there, are they twins?"
Agitated, the women sharply fires back, "Hell no, they ain't twins. This one here's 7, and this one here's 10. Why would you think they're twins? Are you blind, stupid, or both?"
To which I replied, "Ma'am, I am neither blind nor stupid. I just couldn't believe that someone slept with you twice."
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this job.The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Somewhere in the deeep South, a country Mom fed her children dinner,
She wanted to surprise them with something different, so she made venison. She then had them guess as to what is was they were eating.
She said, "Ah'll give y'all a hint. It's what Ah sometimes call yer Paw.".
Little Nell jumped up and screamed, "Spit it out, Willie! It's a asshole!".“I think you should treat good friends like a fine wine. That’s why I keep mine locked up in the basement.” - Tim HawkinsComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
For their 50th wedding anniversary a 70 year old man buys his wife a see through night gown
The next day he goes back to the store and returns it
Cashier: I'm sorry you were unsatisfied with our product. May I ask what was wrong with it?
70 Year Old Man: It was all wrinkledThe greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Had a bad day today. First, my ex got run over by a bus. Second, I got fired as a bus driver.The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
A young Korean couple are lying in bed when the guy starts farting nonstop.
The girl, unable to take the smell, says, "Stop, that's disgusting!"
"Don't blame me", the guy says. "It's the dog."
"Oh, don't blame him", she says. "He was cooked perfectly."Cthulhu for president! Why settle for the lesser evil?Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Redundency Calls
I'm assuming anyone who complains about redundency will see this post, because they've obviously read all 300+ pages of the thread.
Jokes come around again. It's ok. The one posting doesn't really need to know they've already been posted. The rest of us don't really need to know either. And you're wasting more thread space (which, by the way, is unlimited) by calling them on it than by ignoring it. If I read a joke, I'm actually there wasting time... that's why I'm reading jokes. If I waste the same amount of time twice, by reading the same joke twice, there are no catastrphic consequences.
I appreciate the time people take to post jokes on this thread, and I'm not sore at anyone for reposting. So I think you can safely ignore anyone complaining about it.
... although, those people obviously don't read each post, so many of them might miss my post here. But I wanted to say all this just in case one of those redundant posters happen to be reading today.Comment
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There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary maths and those who don'tComment
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I know I should be ashamed of myself. Strangely though, I am not.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Hahaha.... It's perfectly normal because you slow down looking for street signs an the road noise from the vehicle is reduced therefor making the radio seem louder, so you turn it down. Also your concentration in better when your not distracted by noise....Inauguration to the "AI cancel-culture" fraternity 1997...
•••••• •••[§]• |N | € | o | M | Δ | t | π | ¡ | x | •[§]••• ••••••Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
she went to the doctors for a check up .he said mrs smith you are pregnant again ,thats twelve children you have had.
she said it wont happen again .how do you know said the doctor.well she said i got a hearing aid.hows that going to stop you getting pregnant.
well i am deaf and everynight my husband used to say do you want to go to sleep or what and i used to say what.Comment
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