Joke of the Day

[Debs1964]

Re: Joke of the Day

When the economy is in trouble and you meet your new boss.....

When I was married to my first husband we went shopping for a new stereo, it was a young lad who served us and he had to call his supervisor to
complete the sale, his supervisor's name was Neil, seeing the face on the young lad as he tried to explain to my ex that he didn't mean for him to get on his knees, I guess he didn't quite understand my ex's humour

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[KenB]

Re: Joke of the Day

I feel old...

chickenoldtech.jpg

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

A man walks into a bar.
The bar is empty and the bartender is busy in the back washing glasses, so the man calls out, "Hey bartender, could I get a beer please?"
The bartender pours him a beer from the tap and sets a bowl of nuts in front of him, then returns to the back to continue cleaning.
The Man is sitting there drinking his beer and eating the nuts when he hears, "Nice hat!"
He looks about, confused, and then returns to his beer and nuts.
A minute later he hears, "Nice shirt!"
Again he scans the bar, certain of what he heard, but unsure of where it came from.
One minute later he hears, "Nice boots!" And this time he realizes that the sound is coming from the bowl of nuts. He calls the bartender over and asks, "Hey bartender. What kind of nuts are you serving here?"
And the bartender responds, "Oh, those are complimentary nuts."

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

Why was the ink drop sad? Because his mother was in the pen and he didn't know how long the sentence would be.

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[gwaddle]

Re: Joke of the Day

boo bees.jpg

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[HenryT2]

Re: Joke of the Day

Which reminded me of this ...

Bikers Chrome.jpg

[blsquires]

Re: Joke of the Day

had to share this .but its only a joke when there is a crowd.

you say, "did you see that bit on the news about the formula one racing driver,niki " then you look frustrated i cant remember his surname.

someone will say louder ,then you repeat DID YOU SEE THAT BIT ON THE NEWS ABOUT THE FORMULA ONE RACING DRIVER.if your friends are as silly as me they will crack up laughing

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

A man and his wife are on vacation in Tibet...
While shopping in a small village, the wife asks her husband what time it was, and looking down at his wrist the man realized he had left his watch in the motel room. After a few unsuccessful attempts to find an English speaking local, the couple finally finds an elderly man sitting quietly on the street with his donkey.
"Excuse me," the husband says, "Could you tell us the time?"
"Absolutely", replies the elderly man, and with that he reaches down and grabs the donkey's balls. "It is 3:00", the man exclaims.
"Thank you" replies the wife in a surprised voice. And the couple continues on their way. After doing some shopping and grabbing a bite to eat. The couple return to the old man for the time.
Again the elderly man grabs the donkey by the balls and says "It is now 4:45."
By this time the husband is completely amazed. "Please show me how you can tell the time simply by grabbing this donkey's balls!"
"Certainly," the elderly man replies motioning for the couple to come closer.
"Sit here where I am," the man begins. "Now, do you see the donkey's balls?"
"Of course", the man replies.
"Now reach down and take them into your hand." Hesitantly the husband does as he is instructed, after all, this could prove to be an enlightening experience.
"Now, slowly lift the donkey's balls", he continues. Again the husband does as he is instructed. "Now look underneath the donkeys balls, and between his two front legs." The husband does just that.
"Now" the man says, "Can you see the clock on the wall of that building over there?"

[jonhiker]

Re: Joke of the Day

The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?" Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?" Maria: "Jor huzban he say so." Wife: "Oh yeah?" Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you." Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?" Maria: "Jor hozban did." Wife, increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he?" Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed." Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth: "And did my husband say that as well?" Wife: "So, how much do you want?"

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

Two blondes are in a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A game warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."
"We don't have any." replied the first woman.
"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the game warden.
"But officer," replied the second girl, "we aren't fishing. All we have are magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."
The game warden lifted up the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," shrugged the game warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the game warden left.
As soon as he was out of sight, the women started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop! Doesn't he know that there are steelheads in this river?!"

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day