Joke of the Day

[Coptech]

Re: Joke of the Day

Do you know why women are such poor judges of distance?

Their whole lives, they have been told (at this point hold two fingers a short distance apart) that this is 12 inches!

[blsquires]

Re: Joke of the Day

a bus driver had a terrible accident.he pulled out quick to avoid a kid and fell off the bed.

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

I think I will start calling the toilet the Jim instead of the John. It sounds a lot better to tell people I go to the Jim every day.

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

My favorite joke will never be able to be told again.
It's so sad.
What do you call it when 42 rednecks are chasing a faggot?
Jeff Gordon is in the lead again.

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[Iowatech]

Re: Joke of the Day

How to change your appearance
(Wascilly wabbits!)

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

The guy who invented throat lozenges died last week. There was no coffin at the funeral.

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

An old woman visits the doctor for a routine check-up.
"Doctor, I have constant gas, but the farts are always silent and they don't stink!"
The doctor prescribes her some pills and sends her on her way.
Two weeks later she returns for a follow-up.
"Doctor, I still have constant silent farts, but now they stink!"
Doctor replies, "Alright, so we have cleared out those sinuses, now for your hearing..."

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home."Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house."Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

[emujo]

Re: Joke of the Day

A man and woman have been stranded on a small island for a long time, after months of being alone, a small boat washes up the beach with an old man in it. He is also the lone survivor of a shipwreck and has been floating alone for days. The man and woman welcome him and ask him to help in there search for a rescue ship. "Every day we take turns climbing this palm tall palm tree and look out for a passing ship." The old man says he'll be happy to take the 1st watch of the day, so he climbs up the palm tree and begins his search. The younger man and woman call out to him every few minutes and ask if he's seen anything. "No" he says, "and you two stop fucking down there!" The 2 of them have no idea what he's talking about. A little while later they call out again, "see anything?" "No, and you two stop fucking down there" he shouts. "poor old man, he must be suffering from heat stroke". The younger man shouts up to him "come on down, I'll take over for a while". The old man comes down and the younger man takes his place. As soon as the younger man is at the top of the palm tree, the old man throws the woman to the ground, jumps on top of her and starts having his way with her. The man in the tree hears the commotion and looks down, 'Wow" he says, "it does look like they're fucking from up here". Emujo

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

Did you hear about the guy who hates sausage? They say he fears the wurst.

[MjarbarV2.0]

Re: Joke of the Day

My iron just died... rest in crease...

[slimslob]