Joke of the Day

[nekowaiidesu]

Re: Joke of the Day

katsetoner.jpg
"This cats toner is finished"

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly.. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.. They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."
The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man.. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it.. They said, "Man, what happened?"
He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night. Bob sat up and watched me all night."

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife !" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night ! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep."

[fixthecopier]

[20 year tech]

Re: Joke of the Day

clown

[emujo]

Re: Joke of the Day

A skinhead and his girlfriend are walking down the street. The girl sees a diamond bracelet behind a glass window and says "I'd love to have that braclet". The skinhead pulls out a brick, throws it through the window, grabs it and gives it to his girlfriend. A block later, she sees a leather jacket behind another display window. "Ooh, that's beautiful, I really love it!!". The skinhead takes another brick, throws it through the window and gives it to her. After another block she sees a new Mercedes through the showroom window. "Wow, I would look great driving that car". The skinhead yells at her, "Jeeze honey, do you think I'm made of bricks?". Emujo

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[Iowatech]

Re: Joke of the Day

Memes-funny-1.jpg

[emujo]

Re: Joke of the Day

A group of old codgers decide to play a joke on one of their housebound friends for his birthday. They hire a stripper and instruct her to go to the front door clad only in a mink coat and when the old guy opens the door to open the coat and shout "Supersex". The stripper arrives at the house, rings the bell and the old man opens the front door. "SuperSex" she shouts, and opens the fur coat. The old man says "What???". She yells out "SuperSex and again opens the fur coat. The old man says "I'll have the soup". Emujo

[emujo]

Re: Joke of the Day

An older couple are visiting a sex therapist. The man says "my wife has absolutely no interest in sex anymore, what can I do to change this?". The shrink says find a young man and the 3 of you get undressed in the bedroom. Have the young man stand next to your wife and twirl a towel over his head while you mount her. They try this and the old man reports that is was a failure, and it didn't change anything. The shrink says OK try the same thing again, but this time you have the young man make love to your wife while you twirl a towel over your head. They agree and all go back to the bedroom. This time the young guy gets on the wife and starts pounding her while the old man twirls the towel. She starts making hot passionate sounds and is clearly enjoying this and gets progressively louder by the minute. ...The old man shouts "THAT, YOUNG MAN IS HOW YOU TWIRL A TOWEL" Emujo

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

One day a beautiful woman arrives in a wet suit.
'When did you last have a smoke?' she asks. 'Five years ago.' So she gets out a cigar and he smokes it.
She unzips her wet suit a bit and says, 'When did you last have a drink?' He said, 'Five years ago.' So she gets out a bottle of Scotch and he has a drink.
Then she unzips her wet suit a bit more and says, 'And when was the last time you played around?' He looks at her in amazement and says: 'You're not telling me you've got a set of golf clubs in there?'

[bob marley]

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

So in the morning, he calls 911 to come pick up the body.
The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
He replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?
There was a long pause and finally he said, "How 'bout if I drag him over to Oak Street and you pick him up there?"

[emujo]

Re: Joke of the Day

One day a beautiful woman arrives in a wet suit.
'When did you last have a smoke?' she asks. 'Five years ago.' So she gets out a cigar and he smokes it.
She unzips her wet suit a bit and says, 'When did you last have a drink?' He said, 'Five years ago.' So she gets out a bottle of Scotch and he has a drink.
Then she unzips her wet suit a bit more and says, 'And when was the last time you played around?' He looks at her in amazement and says: 'You're not telling me you've got a set of golf clubs in there?'

I think you left off the beginning of this joke...Emujo