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The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen Hawking -
Live for yourself and you will live in vain. Live for others, and you will live againComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
After a battle between the Calvary and an Indian tribe, there was only one Indian standing. The Calvary captain told the Indian that because of his bravery he had decided to spare him. Just as the Indian was getting ready to depart, an army of other Indian tribes rushed over the mountain and overwhelmed the Calvary men. All were killed except the one Captain who was going to spare the last Indian. The Indian said " I will not be as generous as you and have decided not to spare you, but you may have 3 wished before you are scalped, then burnt at the stake". The Calvary man said "I'd like to talk to my horse for my 1st wish". The Indians thought it was a pretty strange request but let him. The Calvary man whispered something into the horse's ear and the horse galloped off. The horse returned about 1/2 hour later with a gorgeous naked blond on his back. The Indian said "great wish, you may use my Teepee with your woman before you die". A little later the Calvary man came out of the tent, and the Indian asked him what his 2nd wish was. The Calvary man said "I would like to talk to my horse again". He whispered into the horse's ear and the horse galloped off again. A 1/2 hour later the horse returns with a gorgeous naked brunette on his back. The Indians are very impressed and the chief allow him use of his Teepee again. After the Calvary man comes out of the Teepee again, the Indian chief asks him what his final wish is. The Calvary man again says "Id like to speak with my horse". The Indian chief brings the horse over and the Calvary man pulls the horse very close, grabs him by the ear and his mane and says "for the last time.....Posse!" EmujoIf you don't see your question answered in the forum, please don't think it's OK to PM me for a personal reply...I do not give out firmware and/or manuals.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
A man is following the Oregon trail and meets a man named Terry.
"Terry? What a stupid name!"
Terry killed him.
He died from dissin' Terry.The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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If you'd like a serious answer to your request:
1) demonstrate that you've read the manual
2) demonstrate that you made some attempt to fix it.
3) if you're going to ask about jams include the jam code.
4) if you're going to ask about an error code include the error code.
5) You are the person onsite. Only you can make observations.
blackcat: Master Of The Obvious =^..^=Comment
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If you don't see your question answered in the forum, please don't think it's OK to PM me for a personal reply...I do not give out firmware and/or manuals.Comment
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Re: Joke of the Day
At a restaurant, a man sees an attractive girl sitting alone at the next table.
Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.
"This is so embarrassing," the girl says, and she pops her eye back in place.
"I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy a drink to make it up to you. May I join you?"
He agrees.
The girls is good at keeping conversation, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common.
He asks her phone number and then he compliments her:
"You are the most charming girl I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No", she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
How bad is the economy???
The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
The help desk.NEVER ASSUME ANYTHINGComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
Looking for a little knowledge, Jimmy walks into his local community college and asks the admissions clerk on duty what classes are being offered. The clerk tells Jimmy there is a logic course starting up soon. "Logic?" Asks Jimmy, "what's that?" "Logic is real easy, let me explain it this way, Jimmy do you own a lawnmower?" "Why yes I do" "Ok, that must mean you've got a yard" "Yup" "If you've got a yard, then you must have a house" "Sure do" "And if you've got a house, you probably have kids" "Three of them!" "Wow, then you must be a heterosexual male with a beautiful wife at home" "Yes, yes! This logic thing is pretty cool, sign me up!" Later that day Jimmy goes home and sees his neighbor Gary and tells Gary about his new college course. Gary says "logic? What's that?" "Well let me explain it like this", says Jimmy. "Do you own a lawnmower Gary?" "No, I always borrow yours" "Well then you must be gay"The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him,
"Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired..
They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed.
Then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem.
"I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship!"
"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison,
"Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answeredThe greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."Live for yourself and you will live in vain. Live for others, and you will live againComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
I got a cat from a local blacksmith. As soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door.The greatest enemy of knowledge isn't ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. Stephen HawkingComment
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Re: Joke of the Day
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Re: Joke of the Day
The Irish Bic Lighter
Mick and Paddy were fishing on the Irish shoreline when Mick pulled out a cigar.. Finding he had no matches, he asked Paddy for a light.
'Ya, sure, I tink I haff a lighter,' Paddy replied and then reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.
'Saints be te Jesus' exclaimed Mick, taking the huge Bic lighter in his hands. 'Where'd yew git dat monster?'
'Well,' replied Paddy, 'I got it from my Genie.'
'You haff a feckin Genie?' Mick asked.
'Ya, sure. It's right here in my tackle box,' says Paddy.
'Could I see him?'
Paddy opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops the Genie.
Addressing the Genie, Mick says, 'Hey dere. I'm a good pal of your master. Will you grant me one wish?'
'Yes, I will,' say s the Genie.
So Mick asks the Genie for a million bucks. The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Mick sitting there waiting for his million bucks.
Shortly, the Irish sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks flying directly overhead.
Over the roar of the one million ducks Mick yells at Paddy, 'What the hell? I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks'
Paddy answers, 'Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat da Genie is hard of hearing.
Do yew really tink I asked for a 10 inch BicComment
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