Joke of the Day

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

An alien craft lands on earth.
The aliens asked the first guy they saw --"take me to your leader".
The Guy stares dumfound and bewildered for a sec and says "which leader?"
The alien exclaims "your most intelligent wise leader."
The guy rubs his chin for a bit, then points across to the
local school, and says "pick one, they don't change much as they get older."

[emujo2]

Re: Joke of the Day

A wife walks into her house and finds her husband watching TV. He is switching back and forth from porn to fishing channels. She watches this for about 5 minute, when he says "I just can't decide which one to watch". The wife says " well, you're a pretty good fisherman!". Emujo

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

I am posting this here because it made me laugh...

https://i.imgur.com/aeiIN5E.mp4

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Joke of the Day







Meanwhile a squirrel whom had been

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

{Snip pic, save band width, save a tree the ozone and all that.Neo.}

They're preferred series current killers. They're working for the resistant.



Okay... It's Monday forgive me...

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

They're preferred series current killers. They're working for the resistant.



Okay... It's Monday forgive me...

For you yes. For me it is still Sunday.

[ZOOTECH]

Re: Joke of the Day

A man escapes from prison where he's been locked up for 15 years.

He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict kisses her neck, then goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers to his wife; 'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain.
Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both! Be strong honey, I love you.

[emujo2]

Re: Joke of the Day

Wife is standing in front of the bathroom mirror and says to her husband, "my boobs are getting smaller, should I get breast enhancement"? Husband says no, just take a piece of toilet paper and rub them between your boobs every morning, that should give you bigger boobs". Wife does this every morning for the next week with no results. She asks the husband if this really works and he says "it should, look at your ass". Emujo

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

Wife is standing in front of the bathroom mirror and says to her husband, "my boobs are getting smaller, should I get breast enhancement"? Husband says no, just take a piece of toilet paper and rub them between your boobs every morning, that should give you bigger boobs". Wife does this every morning for the next week with no results. She asks the husband if this really works and he says "it should, look at your ass". Emujo

Husband's funeral will be next Saturday.

[NeoMatrix]

Re: Joke of the Day

Things must be getting bad, the economy has slowed down so much that we're now recycling jokes...





I did laugh though...

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

A farmer has 200 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell.

[bob marley]

Re: Joke of the Day

075645ae36ca30294ddb669efe388df6.jpg

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day