Joke of the Day

[techwurk]

Re: Joke of the Day

LEARNING TO CUSS
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard. The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss".
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues, "When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass".
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know", he blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios."

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

John was unable to chose between 2 girls.
So he asked his friend Gary for help deciding which girl to be with.
John: I'm devoted to Kate but Edith is my dream girl, she's all I've ever wanted.
Gary: Then you should be with Edith.
John: But I love Kate and could never leave her...
Gary: Then you should stay with Kate.
John: But I also want to be with Edith, I can't miss this opportunity!
Gary: You can't have your Kate and Edith too.

[bob marley]

Re: Joke of the Day

[Lagonda]

Re: Joke of the Day

So thats how Donald got Melania!

[techwurk]

Re: Joke of the Day

A psychic in Arizona survived being hit by a car the other day. Says He never saw it coming...

[Phil B.]

Re: Joke of the Day

What do you call a whore with one leg?

ILean


What do you call a Hispanic whore with no legs?

CuntSwayLo


What you you call a whore that runs for POTUS?

Hillary Clinton

[Copier Addict]

Re: Joke of the Day

What do you call a whore with one leg?

ILean


What do you call a Hispanic whore with no legs?

CuntSwayLo


What you you call a whore that runs for POTUS?

Hillary Clinton

A five year old at a birthday party who thinks he has missed out on the cake. Lol

http://www.copytechnet.com/forums/redirect-to/?redirect=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.politico.com%2Fvideo%2F2017%2F05%2F25%2Ftrump-seemingly-pushes-prime-minister-of-montenegro-dusko-markovic-063238

[fixthecopier]

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

A baseball announcer was once asked to describe a hotel room scene where there was found a nearly empty whiskey bottle and a couple unconscious on the bed fully nude.

The announcer said " Bottom of the fifth, two out and nothing on."

[bob marley]

Re: Joke of the Day

A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman
He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies, "I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"
The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast."

[TheBlueOrleans]

Re: Joke of the Day

One that made my wife laugh, since she has seen Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 already and I have not:

"What does an apple say?"

"I am Froot."




I do believe I have warped her sense of humor.

[Phil B.]

Re: Joke of the Day

A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman
He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies, "I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"
The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast."

DAMN if that doesn't sound like a good pickup line for my neck of the woods!

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[slimslob]

Re: Joke of the Day

[fixthecopier]

Re: Joke of the Day

Two aliens are flying near earth.
The first one says, "The dominant life form here have developed satellite based nuclear weapons."
The second one says, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first one says, "I don't think so, they have it aimed at themselves."